Judge, 1906-09-29 · page 7 of 16
Judge — September 29, 1906 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains three satirical pieces: **"Other Means of Support in Sight"**: A brief racist joke playing on the stereotype of lazy Black laborers. "Lazybones Lincoln" (referencing Abraham Lincoln) quits his job upon getting married, implying he'll rely on his wife's support—a dig at both idleness and dependence. **"An Altered Adage"**: Wordplay inverting the proverb "better to have loved and lost." The bachelor argues marriage lets him blame his wife for life's problems, so he revises it as "better to have loved and won." **"The Bostonian Among the Natives"**: Regional humor mocking both a pretentious Bostonian and rural Midwesterners. A Western suitor calls on a girl named Pauline Deckelmacher; the Boston relative's affected speech ("yaas," "suah") contrasts with the caller's colloquial dialect. The humor comes from their mutual incomprehension—he says "retiahed" (retired), the caller hears "tired." **"The Objections of a Cannibal"**: A brief ethnic joke about Christian hypocrisy regarding civilization and morality. The page reflects Gilded Age attitudes toward class, region, and race.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CADAR oN OTHER MEANS OF SUPPORT IN SIGHT. ~ Lazybones Lincoln is goin’ to get married, may * How you know dat?” * He done throw up his job yesterday.” AN ALTERED ADAGE. MPY bachelor to me Scems quite the sorriest of men— If married he would have, you se Some one on whom to blame things then! I'd say: 'Twere true since Adam's fall, “Tis better to have loved ‘Than never to have loved at al. nd won The very fact of having drawn In marriage’s great lottery fawn t you sce ? son none . so this advice I'd scrawl : "Tis better to have loved an. ‘Than never to have loved at all! ROY FARRELL GRRENK. MAMMA WAS MARRIED. ELSIE was ten years old and possessed a number of big sis- as just passing through the throes of an ITTLE ters, one of whom gement. The term “engaged ” had caught and held the childish ic, who knew no other meaning for the word, She pondered and almost constantly over the new word and the mysterious ion it portrayed, One day a stranger rang the door-bell and it fell to Elsie’s lot to open the door. + Gond-morning. “Goo:l-morning, your mamma at home ? see her ? “Why, I could take your mes- sage to her.” “Oh, your mamma’s engaged, is she ? 0-0-0! Mamma ‘s marriec STRICKLAND W, GILLILAN, IN LIQUIDATION. EDFORD, Indiana, has a murder case certainly qualified to provoke showers of tears, as there are men- tioned in connection therewith a man named Tanksley and a Miss Rainey. ‘THE BOSTONIAN AMONG THE NATIVES. BLOND, fragile young gentleman from Boston has been in Pin. hook for some time visiting relatives, and has taken but slowly to our uncouth western ways, which are so unlike thoseof the people at his home. Last evening, when all were gone from the house except himself and his aunt, there came a loud, confident rapping at the back door and the Bostonian went to answer it. A vigorous, but bashful young man was found standing at the door, and hi “ Good-evenin’, Is Miss Deckelmacher to home ?” Aw. Deckel—? Deckelmacher. “Oh! Deckelmacher ? _Is-s-s—how ?” + Is she to home? Is Miss Deckelmacher to home ?" s Deckelmacher 2?” irl, Pauline. Pauline Deckelmacher. Is she to home ?* Polly, Is she at home ?” Lasked you. as, of course. I don't know. The young Boston gent went to the aunt and inquired and then returned. What is it, please ?” + T don’t know, Til ascertain and let you know.” “Oh, yaas, to be suah, Polly is heah, but she has retiahed.” Tired! [bet she ain't too tired me. I ‘m her feller, b’gosh ! « Fellah 2?" « Tired !" wrathfully. “We “Fella? How's that? lah 2" repeated the Bostonian. «Feller, I say. Feller. keepin’ comp’ny with her.” “Oh, ho, ho! Ye: To be suah, be: to st exclaimed the caller JkIn‘t that beat ye 2 Fel- I'm yes, yes Yes, yes, yes. Her «Well, beau, then, if you like it, Tell her I'm here—Pete is here.” “Tell her ? Good gracious, man! she's RETIAHED.” “Tired nothin’ ! Pauline tired !" “Oh, oh, oh! No, no, no! RE- tiahed. Gone to bed.” “Oh, h— ! why didn’t you say What ye givin’ me? THE OBJECTIONS OF A CANNIBAL. so!” HE way a miss can fool a mister is a mystery. “Brother, why do you object to Christianity?” “Because | ‘ve always found it hard to keep a good man down.”* And the door slammed. OMA J. PARKER, comicbooks.com