Judge, 1906-09-29 · page 3 of 16
Judge — September 29, 1906 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Cartoon ("The Uncertain Feminine"):** A man in a checkered suit confronts a woman in a car, asking why she's positioned her vehicle in the road's center. The joke plays on early automotive etiquette confusion—the woman apparently doesn't know proper driving conventions. This satirizes the novelty of women drivers in the early automobile era, when such things were still noteworthy enough for mockery. **"The Pet Flea":** An instructional piece (not satirical) advising readers on flea care, treating it as a fashionable European pet trend. This reflects genuine early-1900s faddish pet ownership among wealthy classes. **Lower Content:** The page contains miscellaneous humor columns and brief jokes about business, janitors, and criminal psychology—typical Judge magazine filler material satirizing various social types.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE UNCERTAIN AIM OF THE FEMININE, ‘THe Pain cHAUrFeUR—" Oh, Peggy, why does that horrid man stand right in the middle of the road? Does he want to be hit?” Tue HoRrio Man—" Beg pardon, ladies. SOME DOWN-TO-DATE PERSONALS. HE noted bank wrecker, Mr. Pluvius Pelter, has returned from his vacation abroad, The Honorable Jeremiah Spinks is mal coast in his private yacht Iskip. Mr. Spi looter, having plucked several of our most conservative financial insti- tutions of late. Jabez Hiflyer has bought a new tourinj French make. Mr. Hitlyer is making his mark in financial circles by is energetic and thorough effacement of the reputation of trust com- panies and other fiduciary institutions, The noted racing stallion, Pleiades, has been added to the stables of G. Wantit Auhl, Mr. Auhl is the rising young crash and smash-up man, Some of the most notable of our recent financial crashes and bank s g a tour of the Florida ks is the well-known bank ar of a well-known nash-ups were engi- I thought it might be safest to choose the spot you were aiming at.” ‘THE PET FLEA. ET fleas have been introduced on the continent to some extent, and in some families have supplanted the dog, having wormed their way into the affection and anatomy of every member. They are easily fed, very lively and affectionate, and almost human in their intelligence. It is not well to start with an old flea. breed and bring him up yourself. Ina short ti attached to you. He should be kept in the house during the cold weather, but on warm, sunshiny days he can go out for a good jump. In case the wind blows have a suitable blanket for him to wear. Do not permit your flea to go out alone. He might be persuaded ind you would never look into his eyes aj n. If possible, see that Secure an infant of good e he will become greatly to go off with some dog, neered by this daring young Crovsu The villa lately erected. ‘on the summit of the Hima- layas, it is learned, is the property of Mr. Bustit Up Quick. Mr. Quick is best known for his able and effi- cient services in connection with the foundering of the People’s Little Savings Trust Company. In short years he succeeded in get- ting away with over three milliondollars that belonged to other people. The death of Mr. Maka Complete Jobofit (by his own hand) closes a career of exceptional brilliance in his chosen field of financial embezzlements, misfeasance and maladministration. For many years he was known as an inconspicuous plodder of an honesty so marked as to make him a negligible quantity. But it turns out that this known rep- utation ;for probity was but a mask for the most striking operations, which in the aggregate constitute him one of the cleverest. bank smashers this generation has had the good fortune to know. two GREAT BUSINESS HEAD. Friend—*Mf you love Miss Gotrox, old man, why don’t you marry her? Bachelor doctor —« Heavens! man, she is one of my best patients !" ANOTHER POINT OF VIEW. Tne rroc—‘* See here. waiter, | won't stand for this. your flea has three good mealsaday, He will be bet- terfor it, Also keep water where he can take a drink when Many fleas are born with a ter- rible thirst. amine necessary, him ocea- sionally to see that he is in good condition, If he wags his tail freely you may know he is all right. A MODEL TENANT. Afplicant—"\ see you advertised. f6r a j Tam ed] man—no children; neat, honest, pa- tient and tattful !” Agert—“| regret to say you would hardly do as Couldn't I get you as a tenant 2” itor, sir. a mari There is not a single fly in this soup.” a janitor, my friend, but wait. CRIMINAL LIGHTNESS. +6 A NOTED sociologist has discovered that the average criminal doesn’t weigh as much as a moral man, “Where does the difference come in? In the brain ?" “Not only there. They're lighter fingered,” PERFECTLY MATED, Ella— They are well mated, aren't they 2” Stella—« Yes; he is a naturalist and she is an artificialist.” comicbooks.com