Judge, 1906-09-29 · page 13 of 16
Judge — September 29, 1906 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising with satirical vignettes**, typical of Judge magazine's format. The main advertisements include Gillette Safety Razors (emphasizing convenience—365 shaves without stropping), Cook's Champagne (with a humorous poem suggesting civilized life requires it), and Sohmer Pianos. The satirical content consists of brief anecdotes: - **"Not Forever"**: A story about William Wilberforce's sister, whose campaign support led crowds to cheer "Miss Wilberforce forever!"—she humorously deflects the endless praise. - **"Mr. Stockton's Chickens"**: Frank Stockton names his chickens after literary figures; one he names "Mary Mapes Dodge" turns out to be male, leading to the punchline that it's actually "Thomas Bailey Aldrich." - **"Sarcasm"**: A lawyer uses the biblical phrase "cast not your pearls before swine" about addressing jurors, prompting the judge's witty rejoinder. - **"Easy for the Hammock"**: A girl avoids sitting with her boyfriend in a hammock, joking it couldn't support both their weight. These are light social humor pieces targeting courtship propriety and literary culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
565 SHA WITHOUT STROPPING Assbave every day in the year for less then two cents a ¥ 0: million satisfied users prove the ar | Gillette doubleedged water bladis whic ee eeteraee of cae Cuens Heaeor whe ‘ting the utmost satisfaction, we want to 24 Sharp Edges. Me ore social process which required years. to, per it this tel fs Conrestd favo Galette dow fisdes uniform in temper. and fy witb the most perfect shaving Sége inthe worl ol avorethae smooth, bila shaves without siron- dolled throw asyou do.a used pens gu: inserted ia a'sceond. Ko Stropping. No Honing, Always Sharp. S000 double-edged blades turned ‘out at our fi (OKO shaving edges fl st evidence that are widely used appreciated. . ry man should te ae telescope tsded on our 30 Days' Free «lost eaters take this ofr: i yours Sitver-plated fet with 1 blades, #5; ert Shavit ated Hoiders, 89.901 Batra rig, Cutlery and Hardware deate pe fF esday Yor our hawisome tive pany, 263 Times Bldg., New York, “WE may live without poetry, music and art; We may live without conscience, and live without heart; We may live without friends; We may live without books; BUT civilized man cannot live without COOK'S Champagne. A good game of give and take is to take Pains to give pleasure.— Ex. Inending parchasers of a STRICTLY FIRST- CLASS Plano, or Piano and. Sell-Player combined, suid not fail examine the merica Of the world: SORMER | PIANOS talogue mailed on application. SOHMER & COMPANY, iNew Yorn. ROMEIKE Sire Sie hich may appear about you. \VES' NOT FOREVER. William Wilberforce had a devoted | sister, She is credited with having won his election for him during his member- ship of parliament from Hull. The story goes that one day at the hustings a num- |ber of partisans began a, tremendous cheering, crying, ** Miss Wilbertorce for- | and, with admirable tact, replied, «Gen- tlemen, I thank you ; but, believe me, I do not wish to be ‘ Miss Wilberforce for- ever!'" Her brother was returned at| the head of the poll,—Exchange. For a run.down system take the Tonic Ab- bott’s Angostura Bitters. At druggists’ and grocers’. MR. STOCKTON’S CHICKENS. When Frank Stockton started out with his Rudder Grange experiences he un- dertook to keep chickens. One old moth- erly Plymouth Rock brought out a brood late in the fall, and Stockton gave her a good deal of his attention. He named each of the chicks after some literary friend, among the rest Mary Mapes |Dodge. Mrs. Dodge was visiting the farm some time later, and, happening to| |think of her namesake, she said, “By the way, Frank, how does little | Mary Mapes Dodge get along ?” “The funny thing about little Mary | Mapes Dodge,” said he, ‘is that she turns, out to be Thomas Bailey Aldrich.”—| | Everybody's. The tone of the Solimer Piano is particularly distinguished on account of its volume and | purity, its ri ging quality, and its sympathetic throughout the entire SARCASM. A sarcastic lawyer, during the trial ot a case, made use of the expression, Cast not your pearls before swine.” ‘Subse- quently, as he arose to make the argu- ment, the judge facetiously remarked, “+ Be careful, Mr. S—, not to cast your pearls before swine. Don’t be alarmed, m'lud ; 1 am about to address the jury, not the court,” was the reply of the barrister. — 7it-Bits. EASY FOR THE HAMMOCK, Mamma— | hope you were not sitting in the hammock with Jack, last night, Lulu?" Lulu—" No, mamma. I didn’t think it was strong enough for both of us to sit in, Jack sat in the hammock and I sat in Jack's lap."— Yonkers Statesman. A man may think he is sharp, and still | be taken in by a sharper. : Arran Jastns Mowroouray FLacc Copyright, 1906, by Judge Co. Photogravore, 12x15 50 CENTS ‘THE POACHER llapey and confident in the knowledge that its not he hunting season, she walks serenely toward the trap, = getting the little poacher Cupid, who hunts at Address PICTURE DEPARTMENT, JUDGE CO. 225 Fourth Avenue, New York Trade supplied by Anderaea Mapa sine Cox Every Ambitious Young Man Should read the article in the September issue of Everybody's Magazine, on Thrift By Dx. Orison Swetr Marpen, Editor of Success This is just an excerpt on INDUCING THE HABIT OF SAVING Anything which will encourage the habit of saving in this extravagant age is a blessing. ‘The temptations on every hand are so alluring that it is very difficult for a young man of ordinary sell-control to resist them and to save his money. * Thelieve that life-insurance is doing more to induce the habit of saving than almost anything else. **T know of nothing which will cover up m-re blemishes, put out of sight more business weakness cover up more surely the lack of foresight und thrift than a good life-insurance policy. Ithas proven a friend to thousands who have not been friends to themselves. It has shielded thousands of families who would have been homeless without it; it has sent to college multitudes of boys and girls who but for it woold not have gove ; it has started thousands of young men in business who, but for it, either would not have started at all, or would have been delayed for years. It has lilted the mortgage from thousands of homes. ‘Primarily devised.” says Senator Dryden, President of ‘The Prutential Insurance Company of America, *for the support of widows and orphans, life-insurance practice has been developed 40 as to include the secure investment of surplus earnings in conjunction with the insurance of a sum payable at death.’ This article should be read from start to finish by every young man. The Prudential has published it in pamphlet form and will send a copy free to anyone who will write for it. The Prudential issues just the forms of policies best adapted to the purposes of saving and investment as well as protection Protection, Security and Profit for Policyholders Write now to Dept. N The Prudential Insurance Company of America r ted as « Stock Company by the State Jacerporated es Stock Company by STRENGTH OF * i GIBRALTAR JOUN F. DRYDEN, Home Oftice: President NEWARK, N. J. “America’s Greatest Rairoad ” Operating more than 12,000 miles of Railway east of Chicago, St. Louis and Cincinnati COMPRISING THE New York Central & Hudson River Lake Shore & Michigan Southern Big Four Route Michigan Central Boston & Albany Pittsburg & Lake Erie Lake Erie & Western Chicago, Indiana & Southern Lake Erie, Alliance & Wheeling New York & Ottawa and Rutland Railroads For « copy of ‘America’s Winter Resorts," send a two-cent stamp to George H. Daniels, Manager General Advertising Department, Grand Central Station. New York. Cc. F. DALY, Passenger Traffic Manager, EW YORK,