Judge — September 15, 1906 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

iN Lh Faia A FINANCIAL BREAK. Rich Uncte Esenezer—" So you are named after me, are you?” Smatt nernew—"' Yes. Ma said it was too bad, but we needed the money." HER PET ANXIETY. HEN wifey and I are equipped for a trip To the playhouse, or out for a call, She makes a few dabs at her brow and her lips As the mirror we pass in the hall, Then, while we're descending the steps to the street, Bedight in our handsomest clothes, She anxiously asks me, in whisper dis- creet, “Does the powder still show on my nose ?”* It’s odd—I'm unable to fathom it quite. No matter how often she peeks To see that her frescoing 's blended aright, My helpmeet unfailingly seeks For further enlightenment after we start To church or to one of the shows, « Now, answer me honest—don't try to get smart— Dues the powder show bad on my nose?” Now, wifey has led an exemplary life ; T'm certain just where she will land. When through with this world’s tribulation and strife She'll sure have a harp in her hand. But whether she wanders the gold.paven street, r down to the other place goes, Her “sweet by-and. by” will be really sweet, Should the powder not show on her nose. STRICKLAND W. GILLILAK, THE WARY HEIRESS. Count Dedbroke—+\'m going to marry a girl with an independ- ent fortune.” Lord Nocash— Look out, old chap, that it isn’t a fortune with an independent girl.” POT LUCK. S6G TAY and take pot luck with us, won’t you, old man 2" «+ Yes—provided it isn’t potted luck.” ‘THE SCHEME OF A DUSTY PROMOTER. HE WAS a tramp. “Why don't you go to work 2?" the lady was saying to him. “Ter be honest wid yer, lady,” replied the raggedy fellow, «1 lost me job; but I'm a-gittin’ chuck full uv new hopes every day, an‘ as soon as I kin raise de price I'm goin’ ter embark into a business dat'll make me safe swell as if it had de mumps. I'm on me way ter Italy now, mum, an’ as soon as I gits de udder one hundred an’ fifty-two dollars an‘ twelve cents ter complete me car-fare I'm off on me way ter prosperity. Kin yer help us, lady?” The woman was touched—financially and otherwise. . «Here's a quarter, my good man,” she said. +1 hope it will help you in your new enterprise.” A dirty, besmeared, calloused flipper grasped the proffered coin. Giving his brimless hat a tip that was worse than one I got on a horse- race yesterday, the tramp was about to leave when the woman inquired dubiously, : “« But say, man, what in thunderation are you goin’ to do down in Italy 2" The frowsy form stopped. «Why, I'm goin’ ter rake in all de ashes dat wuz spilled out uv Mount Vesuvius, put dem in freight-cars an’ steamers, an’ ship ‘em north.” The lady looked at him dumfoundedly ; then she gasped, “But what in all goshemlock are ye goin’ to do with all them ashes up north ?” The frizzled face burst into a smile. «* Why, I'm goin’ ter sprinkle ‘em all around de Nort’ Pole, so as de explorers kin reach it widout slippin’."* Before the lady could unchain her dog the tramp had disappeared down the road. von omrex. JOHN EXPLAINS, ; +4 JOHN!" cried Mrs. Jenkins as she greeted her husband on the stairway at 3:46 a. m., ‘here you are again, intoxicated !” «No'm," replied John, circling around with his arms several times trying to catch hold of something solid. ++ Jusht in love, m'dear.”” «In love “Yesh, m'dear. ‘Sh love makesh th’ worl’ go roun’, ain’t it?” comicbooks.com