Judge — September 15, 1906 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HOW TO MAKE ONE. To build a neat ballade like this (Pronounce the word ** bah-lahd,” you know), You can't go very far amiss If you construct the thing just so. We'll take, to end this line, « be- stow,” Or any other word in sight, Whose rhyme and rhythm smoothly flow ; Ballades are easy things to write. Now let your word be « precipice.” It sounds all right. We'll let it go. Then here, perhaps, a sounding kiss May be succeeded by a blow. Now watch your blooming poem grow. Your Pegasus is in full fight— But this, somehow, suggests a “ whoa !" Ballades are easy things to write. Then next you try the word “ abyss,” ‘And follow it with + overflow "; Lug in some reference to bliss, ‘Or something as to Cupid’s bow, Or “marble brows,” of “driven snow.” ‘The process thus you expedite. This sort of thing is not so slow— Ballades are easy things to write. L'ENVOI. But here you've got to stop, although "Twere easy thus to grind all night. The object merely is to show Ballades are easy things to write. —Chicago Tribune, IT RUINED HIM. Quite recently into a railway carriage at Oldham stepped a young man, fresh from school evidently, and wearing his first watch, The very many proud glances which he cast on the gold chain raised a smile on|* the faces of his fellow-passengers. Apparently by accident, though mis- chief might have been at the bottom of it, he subject of watches was * brought on the carpe “Ah!” sighed an old farmér, giving the watch back to the young man, who had handed it around for the inspection of the company, “that theer watch minds me 0 my own son,” “How's that?” asked several passen- 3. Why, [ gave ‘im a watch when ‘e wur fifteen year owd, an’ it wur th’ ruin of ‘im. Being asked for an explanation, the farmer continued, “ Afore I gave it 'im ’e wur th’ straight- est built lad for miles around; but ‘e adn’t ad that watch above four months store ‘e growed ‘umphacked wi’ lookin’ at th’ chain so muc Tit-Bits, SEEMS LONG. —Had your present cook ng ? Gotham—" Oh, yes; three hours and iwenty minutes."— Yonkers Statesman, GIVE HER TIME. Never ask a woman for her reasons. If you will only keep still and wait a little she will give them to you.—Exchange. LIKED THE FINISH. Penman—" See my latest novel yet 2” Wright— Ob, yes ; saw it yesterday, Penman—" How did you like the fin- ish?" _ Wright— Oh, I like that red-leather finish immensely."— Yonkers Statesman. A SCHEME. “He's got a new plan to exterminate mosquitoes.” “Coal oil, I suppose ?” “No; his iden is to cross them. with lightning-bugs, so that you may see them coming and thus swat them more easily in the dark."—Philadelphia Press. uage THE PAITH OF THE BOY. The four-year-old son of a certain western senator had a very high opinion of the importance of his father. The lat- ter tells how, on one occasion in their western home, the lad came across a magazine in which, by some chance, there were engraved, side by side, por- traits of the President and the senator mentioned. When the lad caught sight of his fa- ther's features he broke into a broad smi good, my son.” «Who's the man next to you, daddy 2" asked the youngster. “Why, my son !" exclaimed the sena- tor, “don't you know? That is one of the greatest men of the world, a man more admirable and more powerful than any king. That, my son, is President Roosevelt.” The lad again looked at the picture of the President. Then, after a thoughtful pause, he observed, “Say, daddy, the people in the east will be’ awful proud when they see the President's picture next to yours, won't they ?"—American Spectator. FINANCIALLY WEAK. Tramp (piteously) — «+ Please help a cripple, sir.” Kind old gent (handing him some money) —“ Bless me; why, of course. How are you crippled, my poor fellow ?” Tramp (pocketing the money)—" Fi- nancially crippled, sir.” — Mustrated Bits, JEALOUSY. The beautiful girl's changed to dark frowns. + You deceiver !" she hissed. you!" The young man dropped his cane in astonishment. “Hate me!" he gasped. «Why, it was only yesterday you said you loved every hair on my head.” “Yes, but not every hair on your shoulder,” she retorted, as she held aloft a golden bit of evidence.—Chicago News. sweet smiles “Thate HOW MANY OF US? FAIL TO SELECT FOOD NATU MANDS TO WARD OFF AILME! A Kentucky lady, speaking about food, says: “I was accustomed to eating all kinds of ordinary food until, for some reason, indigestion and nervous prostra- tion set in. “ After I had run down seriously my attention was called to the necessity of some change in my diet, and I discontin- ued my ordinary breakfast and began using Grape-Nuts with a good quantity of rich cream. “In a few days my condition changed in a remarkable way, and I began to have a strength that I had never been possessed of before, a vigor of body and a poise of mind that amazed me. It was entirely new in my experience. “My former attacks of indigestion had been accompanied by heat flashes, and many times my condition was dis- tressing with blind spells of dizziness, rush of blood to the head and neuralgic pains in the chest. “Since using Grape-Muts alone for breakfast I have been free from these troubles, except at times when I have in- dulged in rich, greasy foods in quantity, then I would be warned by a pain under the left shoulder blade, and unless I heeded the warning the old trouble would come back, but when I finally got to know where these troubles originated I returned to my Grape-Nuts and cream and the pain and disturbance left very quickly. “Lam row in prime health as a result of my use of Grape-Nuts.” Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. A BARREN MIND. A man's mind must be very barren of ideas if he cannot tell his wife of some way in which he thinks she can econ- omize.— Somerville Journal, Physicians prescribe Abboti’s Angostura Bit- ters for the stomach and nerves. FAMILIAR. Yeast—“ And did you notice anything familiar in the man’s face ?” Crimsonbeak — “Yes; a cigar."— Yonkers Statesman, Rich Food Value Of Pabst Beer Good Reason Why the Finest “Bottled Beer Should Be in Every Home. There is no beverage more healthful and none more satisfying and refreshing than good beer. That is why we say that Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer, the choicest of all bottled beers, should be in every home where things to eat and drink are valued according to their purity, clean- ness and actual food strength. | Before or with your meals it is appetizing and invigorating and at all times it is a cool, refreshing drink. Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer is the supe- rior of all beers in cleanness and purity and also in food value. This is because of the Pabst exclusive eight-day method ot making malt, Malt is the soul and body of beer, and the richer the malt the more wholesome the beer. Malt is made from harley by a process of growth, and perect malt, Pabst eight-day malt, con- tains all the food elements of barley in predigested form. Most brewers grow their malt in four five - cent days, but four-day malt is an unnatural ‘ development and necessarily inferior be- cause in the rushed growth of the grain its vital food value is thrown off and lost. By scientific experiments and sixty years of practical brewing Pabst has proved that eight days are required to make per- fect malt. This gives the barley slow growth and all the food value of the grain is retained in Pabst eight-day malt. That is why Pabst Beer is so nourishing and strengthening. The Perfect Drink for Summer Outings A cool, refreshing and stimulating delight for the picnic in the woods—the automo- bile party—all outdoor sports. CLUB COCKTAILS are exquisitely blended from choicest liquors, aged and mellowed to delicious taste, flavor and aroma. A CLUB COCKTAIL is a scientifically equal and uniform cocktail—not a slap-dash mix- ture of doubtful liquors. Strain through cracked ice and serve. Seven varieties—each one delicious. Order CLUB from your Dealer G. F, HEUBLEIN & BRO., Sole Props. ford ROMEIKE’S Eel yee Slo alae on whch you re Every, newspaper and ‘United States end Europe is searched. 100 notices, Haxny Rowmixs, 33 Union Square, Back to work— Evans’ Ale will make it a pleasure Keeps you wp to the mark, {in the path of good health “Carrying coals to Newcastle.” The only good reason that there could have been for carrying coals to Newcastle was that the coals carried were better or cheaper than the Newcastle coals, ; That, too, can be the only good reason why my Philadel- phia cigars are shipped by thousands daily to New York City, where there are over 100,000 places selling cigars at retail. Most men would rather walk ten blocks than sit down and write a letter— yet every day brings me many orders from the city that has a cigar store on nearly every corner. ‘My cigars ARE bet- ter value than the retailers can give either in New York or elsewhere, My selling expense, com- pared to the retailer's, is prac- tically nothing. It is nearly half the retailer's prices. Thave no store rent, light, heat or clerk hire to pay lor. Ispend a little for advertis- ing to get one-tenth of my orders—that’s all, The other nine-tenths of my business is repeat orders that cost me nothing to get. I think that is reducing selling expense to the lowest possible minimum. You get the benefit. Ido not, however, ask you to accept any argument as final proof of the ci I give. I make you here an offer by which you can actu- aly try the cigars at my risk without sending me a cent MY OFFER IS: I will, upon request, send one hundred Shivers’ Panatela Cigars on approval to a reader of JUDGE, express prepaid. He may smoke ten cigars and return the re- maining ninety at my expense if he is not pleased with them; If he Is pleased, and keeps them, he agrees to remit the price, $5.00, within ten days. The fillers of these cigars are Clear Havana, of good quality—not only clear, but long, clean Havana —no shorts or cuttings are used. They are hand-made, by the best of workmen... The making has much to do with the smoking qualities of a cigar, The wrappers are genuine Sumatra. In ordering, please enclose business EXACT size AND SHAPE card or give personal references, and state whether mild, medium or stréng cigars are desired. HERBERT D. SHIVERS, 919 Filbert Street, Philadelphia, Pa. comicbooks.com