Judge, 1906-09-01 · page 7 of 16
Judge — September 1, 1906 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page satirizes **Andrew Carnegie's free public libraries**—a major philanthropic initiative of the wealthy industrialist. The central article mocks communities that accepted Carnegie's library donations but then lost interest in them. The satire highlights the tension between Carnegie's noble intentions and practical reality: once the novelty wore off, attendance dropped, and local governments grew tempted to rent out the buildings to commercial enterprises (newsstands, debating societies, vinegar storage) to generate revenue. The joke is that Carnegie's altruistic gift became a financial burden communities wanted to exploit for profit—undercutting his philanthropic vision. The page also includes lighter domestic humor unrelated to Carnegie, featuring poems about family behavior ("When Comp'ny Comes") and beach-scene vignettes with period-appropriate jokes about propriety.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
She does her hair up in a knot ‘o bigger than a chicken’s She means is nothing but a Bat, j As sweet as any girl could be When comp'ny 's here. MR. CARNEGIE HAS TROUBLE OVER HIS FREE LIBRARIES. MB: CARNEGIE, according to the dispatches, is having some unex- pected troubles with his free libraries, which, by his persevering philanthropy, are now scattered quite plentifully upand down the land. It seems that many communities accepted the milliSnaire’s largess, and for a time read the books, or just sat on the oak chairs and drank in the cool, academic, thought-laden atmosphere. But they tired of this by and by, and the library attendance has perceptibly diminished. Meanwhile the calculating eye of commerce has been resting enviously upon these solid, business-like structures, and overtures have been made to the local governing bodies, and in turn to Mr. Carnegie. For example, a Grand Army Post asked permission to occupy one, and a local debating society tried for another. ‘Then correspondence like this sprung up in various places : Sirs—I wish to inquire if you would be willing to rent a part of the Car- negie Library at a fair price. I see it is not doing a very rushing business, and T could open a news-stand in it, which would give the people something they want to read instead of something they ought to read. Chentlemens—Vat for you haf sooch a nice blace vie der kainagy liprary und dit no pitzness? 1 vill pay you ein hundert tollars jahrig ven you led me pile up mein vinegar-parrels in der cellar alretty—yes? Anser purty soon qvick und oblige yoursellpfs. Manager of Carnegie Free Library—Would it compromise the character of your institution or interfere with the work you are doing if you were to install a {ck runs his motor eighty miles an Isn't that dangerous?” im-mun-nee! you ought to sce Bat, ji jow she can change! She's pretty near ile Sometimes, when ma is feelin’ glum NOT DANGEROUS. “* Not so dangerous as running it eight." WHEN COMP’NY COMES. OMETIMES my sister Mabel, who's Pa often growls about the way Grown up, looks almost like a fright The meat is cooked, and kicks because She wears a pair of ma’s old shoes He has so many bills to pays Because her own are always tight. And when the coffce 's cold he jaws. And if he has to hunt his socks, eee, Or some one 's used his brush or comb, And doesn’t call it “limb” when what It's horrible the way he knocks leg. And darkens our once happy home. -mun-nee ! you ought to see quick his grouches disappear, And how dee-lightful he can be, When comp'ny ‘s here. I s'pose some time I'll have to die, ‘And her and me have had a spat, Because all people must, they say, She slaps my ears and makes things hum, And have a home up in the sky And says that I'm a little brat. And get a golden harp to play. One day she told me to my face ‘There won't be no cold coffee then, T'd drive her ravin’ crazy yet, And Mabel’s shoes won't hurt her feet ; And chased me all around the place And even in the mornings, when Because a pitcher got upset. She has no switch on, she'll be sweet. But, gee! how lovely she can be Oh, gee! how long it seems to me It’s Willie, pet," and ++ Willie, dear,” "Forever" is! But I won't care, And nota pinch or slap for me— Because they'll always probably When comp'ny 's here. Be comp'ny there. manicure-parlor in the basement or other adjoining room? I am anxious to secure suitable quarters, and it seems to me a well-conducted manicure-shop might draw customers to you as well as to me. Please let me call and make you a proposition. ally Mr, Carnegie was consulted, we understand, and has caused it to be known that on no account will he allow manicuring, the storage of vinegar-barrels, the selling of flour and feed, or any other kind of merchandising, to be set up in his libraries, It is a curious development of a great philanthropy, this, and the country will watch the outcome with interest ELECTRIC, 66 Q)H, what will bring that matchless light ‘To your dear eyes?” said I. “A matchless light? Why, sparking, sir!” ‘The maiden made reply. THE CAUSTIC BOARDER. SOYVELL.” said the hotel-proprietor, «+1 must go out to the race- track this afternoon and see if I can clean up a little stake.” “If Twere you,” said the caustic boarder, «1 would stay here and see if I couldn't clean up the little steak served every meal at this table, It sure needs it. Whereupon the proprietor went out and added three dollars for extras to the caustic boarder’s bill. hour when he has a girl with him."* comicbooks.com