Judge, 1906-06-30 · page 7 of 17
Judge — June 30, 1906 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor. The top cartoon mocks courtship rituals—a woman claims this is her "fourth swim" of the season, while a man interprets "fourth" as meaning she's had 23 total swims, suggesting promiscuity or loose behavior. The "Lest We Forget" poem parodies Kipling, ironically praising meat consumption while mocking muckraking journalism. It suggests that scandal-mongering reforms fade away, allowing Americans to return comfortably to old habits—satire of both reformers and public complacency. Other pieces target contemporary social targets: the "Grouchy Gent" section offers misogynistic aphorisms; the Roman prediction joke likely references failed political predictions; and "An Argument" plays on the phrase "splitting hairs" versus "bald facts." Overall, this reflects Judge's conservative stance—skeptical of reform movements and progressive change, favoring traditional social arrangements and gentle mockery of modern anxieties.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Vy comanene me I don't understand. I sald this was only my fourth swim.” ‘Sue—" This is only my fourth this season."* Oh, then am still in the swim."* He—" Fourth? Well, | suppose that means 23 for me."* RATHER. GROWLS OF A GROUCHY GENT. HE prediction having failed dismally, the ancient Romans were J OVE knows no law but mother-in-law. cackling merrily upon the Appian Way. The home is the +‘ national capital” of the country. “Don’t tell me!” shrilled one. These new-fangled ways of Just as long as young men are foolish young girls will flirt. predicting things may be scientific, but this goes to show that even You can lead a boy to school, but you can’t make him think. science has its fault “It occurs to me," observed Claudius Comedius, «that if this sort of thing keeps up it will put the augur in the hole, so to speak.” “LEST WE FORGET.” (With apologies to Mr. Rudyard Kipling, who wrote in the same metre of matters no meatier.) MEAT of our fathers, good of old— Meat of a wide-spread appetite That from the very start took hold And held on, toour taste’s delight— Meat of our fathers, stand by us yet, Lest we forget ; lest we forget. If dazed by muck-rake exposés, Strange tales that have not thee in awe, We fall into hysteric ways ‘And rave about an outraged law— Meat of our fathers, stand by us yet, Lest we forget ; lest we forget. The muck-rake meddler goeth hence, Commissioners and all depart— Then shines thy pristine excellence, As we have known i: from the start. Meat of our fathers, stand by us yet, Lest we forget; lest we forget. Near-called the rakers fade away From paper and from magazine, And all the muck of yesterday Gives place to matter fresh and clean. Meat of our fathers, stand by us yet; We'll not forget ; we can’t forget. WILLIAM J. LAMFTON. HAS NOTHING LEFT, $60 YOU leave your valuables in the hotel safe when you go to a summer resort ?” “Only when I leave." QUIT. F drinking interferes with your business quit your « boozi- ness. AN ARGUMENT. “You are splitting hairs, my dear professor."" “Not at all, doctor. ‘I'm merely stating the bald facts."* When a man attains fame he should die quickly or be stricken dumb. Be intelligent first, educated, if it is possible, but + intellectual” last of all. The really successful men al- ways manage to put the shoulders of other men to the wheel, Riches may bring anxiety, but lack of them will bring mis- ery. Now take your choice. There are two kinds of fools, the wise and the silly. Make the world ha-ha with you, not at you. Men gossips are worse than the feminine variety. They have more and nastier things toaalk about. A man’s love of woman should be like that of the bee that steals honey from the flower's heart without injuring it THE LATEST VERSION. AIN, rain, 23! Don't you come and moisten me. ON ONE POINT. 66 D)O YOU and your wife agree on anything ?” “Yes, Each of us believes that one of us is very poorly mated.” HORTICULTURAL NOTE. $0 FAR all efforts to propagate the orange in Utah have re- sulted in a heavy crop of blos- soms only. SONG OF THE PEDESTRIAN. LIKE To hike. comicbooks.com