Judge — June 30, 1906 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘THE GRADUATE'S BLAZE. LISTEN. my readers, and you shall hear Of the sweet girl graduate’s carcer. Her name was Dorothy Hilkins Clive, And she finished her ovurse in 1905. She studied nights and she studied days, For she wanted to set the workl ablaze, ‘Then she started out ard rode one day To seek some labor and weekly pay. She traveled around like Paul Revere, A short stop there and a short stop here. ‘The girl was told she was far too wise To help in a business enterprise. n literature she then took a dip ; Her stuff came back with the usual slip. And after a year or more of strife Fair Dora muttered, ‘This isn’t life." She burned her diploma, saved the earth, And found a young man of general worth, She liked the young man and his tender ways; She'll live a flat life the rest of her days. PRRRINE LAMBENT. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. EDNA MAY, PLAYING ‘THE BELLE OF MAYFAIn 1M LONDON. MEI You are playing ‘* The Belle of Mayfair," a. iss May? Se THEY say she used to be his And that is ‘way over in London, Ihomsekeeper.* They say. S Wherever it {3, or whether you are “Yes ; but, really, we shouldn't bs playing at being a belle over there, cut her on that account. She has fe know the partdoes not go with the play, not, of course, done any housekeep- You are always the belle of Mayfair, ‘ pours a Miss May. ing for him since they were married. FOOLISH RULES IN CASES OF EMERGENCY. SOING down a fire-escape never precede a lady. In case of fire leap from the nearest window and turn to the left. In drowning do not speak. Talking to one’s self is always bad form; but in this emergency it would also be extremely silly. In falling from the back of a runaway horse always aim to let the left shoulder hit the ground first, as it is far better to break one’s arm than to frac- ture one’s skull. If a heavy plate-glass window falls upon you some cold winter morning do not scream, as you might, in opening your mouth, catch tonsilitis—to say nothing of several large pieces of glass. If you happen to be in a theatre when the cry of + Fire!" is raised, sit perfectly still. Of course no one ever does this, but it is just as well to bear the rule in mind. Authorities differ as to whether it is better to be trampled to death or burned alive. MAXDOLFH. FORRES. JUST THE BOY FOR PAPA. Se THERE is something,” he said, « that I have wanted for a long time to tell you. Iam not rich, as you know, but I am young, strong, and willing to work, Miss Millyuns—Edith—I'"— “Oh!” she cried, ++I will tell papa about you. I think I heard him say this morning that he wanted to hire an office-boy with just the qualifications you mention,” The cartain—"* Wot's de score. Mickey?” HER SUGGESTION AFTER THE SHOW. He—" Speaking of debts, how much did Rome-o?" ‘Sne—"* For what Jull-et, of course.” RELIEVED. SL YOU seem to be in a particularly happy frame of mind this morning, Mr. Wadsworth.” “Tam, For several months past I have had a suspicion that my private secretary and my stenographer were in love with each other.” “And have you found that you were mistaken ?” Yes. He came to me last night and asked for my daughter.” Tue orriciat score-xerrer—"* Do youse t'ink | kin count over a hundred ?* icbooks.com