Judge — June 30, 1906 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ar rue Panxen Burtprxc, Wasrexx Apvernisinc Orrici unireo era PUBLISHED WEEKLY Fourru Avance 1313 Harford Building, Chicage, I. TERMS TO SUBSCRIDERS: (SAND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year, or $2 numbers = ears Ove copy, six FORE Evnorean sates-acenrs—Intermational News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, F.C. The contents of FUDGE are protected by conyright in both the United States and Great Britain. otha, of 26 numbers - ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks nctoding the Cuntsratas Ju SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $6.30 year. London : Brentano's, Avenue de" Oper Erehange, Mains, Germany. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must inclose a stamped and self-aséressed envelove with all manascrnts, otherwise return of the Latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contributions sent to the Art Devartment should have the sender's fall name and address written plainly on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying foke or descriptive letter-oress should in ébery tnstarce be written uron its indtoidual picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. insure safe and promot return of material not accepted. inclosure of stamos to the full amount of postage is also required, to 11 JUDGE cansot be found at any oews-stand, the publishers will be under obligations If that fact be promptly reported oa postal-card or by letter. JUDGE'S PRESIDENTIAL TICKET FOR THE DEMOCRATS. JN THESE grand get-together days nothing is lacking to the near-tri- umphant, almost-reassembled Democratic host but a well-fitting pair of leaders for the next campaign. JUDGE is perfectly willing to assist in making a suitable selection, For first place one name alone is suggested. None other occurs. Of course it is the Peerless One, the unmatched and the un-, matchable, resplendent in his home-coming as he was glorious in his going. We do not even need to name him. The oriflamme of his eloquence goes before him and besets him round about and comes after him. So much is settled. But who shall be his running mate? We have a number of guesses. Our first is Bryan and Hearst. There it is. It fits the tongue and satisfies the ear. There is an inner and mutual fit- ness and admirable jointure of character also. The one stands for the speech that is silver; the other for the silence which is golden, Thus we see a merger by the very cause that led to rupture. Sixteen to one. Speech and silence. The eloquence of sound and the elegance of a mute but splendid front. And what a happy mingling, what beautiful proportions! Everybody knows Mr. Bryan can do just sixteen speeches to Mr. Hearst’s one; and every- body knows Mr. Hearst could do the heavy silent parts, such as presiding over the senate. It seems almost a made-to-order ticket. And, by the way, Mr. Hearst is just sixteen times as rich as Mr. Bryan. ONDON is worried about us. Hears that all our girls wear peekaboo waists. It’s plain to be seen London has not seen any of those peek- aboos. THE Plan and Scope committee on the Bryan reception is having a bushel of trouble. They have hit on the plan all right, but they can’t agree ‘on the scope. 4 An ON THE BLESSINGS OF A TERM IN JAIL. R. RICHARD CANFIELD of New York has given the following statement to the newspapers: ‘I look back upon my term in prison as one of the best things that ever happened to me. This may seem a somewhat remarkable statement, but those six months that I spent in jail were probably the most beneficial and the happiest six months I ever spent in my life. I had nothing to do but read. And I read continuously and assiduously the very best of books. It inculcated a taste for good literature in me that I never had before, and which has been a great joy to me ever since. If it were not for that term in jail I probably would never have been able to appreciate good books, because I never could have found the time to read them.’”? Such is life. Just as we are about to send a lot of people to jail it turns out that a jail is about the happiest place a lot of people can be in, We are told that all forms of pun- ishment that stop short of the prison-cell are ineffective. And now we learn that the prison-cell is as good as a course in college—the very vestibule of learning, the kindergarten of literature, and the first step to to scholarly life. So long as only common people went to jail the jail was a nuisance. Now that a good class of people are threatened with jail, behold! the jail is a seat of learning. WILE somebody tell us where Reed Smoot stands now? eee T’S DOLLARS te doughnuts the czar is mighty sorry he ever thought up that Duma. ewes 64 AID OUT as dead, he sat bolt upright,” says a newspaper head-line. Now, what prominent politician does that refer to? N THESE “potted-ham ” days nothing is what it seems. Why, here is Mrs. de Koven declaring a spurious Paul Jones has been worked off on us. Y THE WAY, there are only twenty-four farmers in congress. This seems to be a reflectign on congress, but which way we do not stop to inquire. ‘THE UNNECESSARINESS OF WOMAN. WRITER to a New York newspaper recently exclaimed with heat, “1 admire and respect all good and true women, but when they claim we cannot get along without them, I say bosh!’” There is something so con- clusive about this that we may well make it the text for some remarks on the unnecessariness of woman. The correspondent confesses, ‘We are all willing to retain the right kind of wo- men, and most of us will do our part.” That is to say, this gentleman would per- mit the right woman to stay a while long: er. But when a woman says she is neces sary, that she subserves any sort of fun- damental use, this gentleman’s indignant bosh closes the door in her face. He says he knows women who nag their husbands, to earn more money. We take it that when a woman drives a $1,000-a-year man to a $3,000-a-year job the question of her unnecessariness has two sides. We infer that this complainer is simply up against the usual vacation suggestion. She wants to go somewhere, see live people, and keep up the illusion that she is on earth. He wants to sit on the back porch of his city home and fan himself to sleep every night. She, blessed woman! wants to get him away to the mountains or the seashore and blow the cob- webs out of his head. He is just plain stingy. As near as we can diagnose the situation, that’s what's the matter with this man. ENTUCKY’S “old home week” was like a bed of mint in rivers of Bourbon, R’ER BRYAN had two upsets by a mule in the Philippines. makes four altogether. That EDWARD ADDICKS, adieu! You have been a long time with us, + Mr. Addicks, but you're through. "THE Washington Post says there is going to be a house-cleaning in these United States in 1908. Whew! We thought the house-cleaning was about over. THAT buzzing sound to the west is the‘ pops” waking up. Winter of their discontent is being made into a sort of Indian summer by a cer- tain son of York—in other words, of Lincoln. MARSE HENRY says nothing has ever “‘entered the head of the Courier-Journal which it did not long ago kick out at the heel.” Like one of those needles that work straight through the system.