Judge — May 26, 1906 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A CLEAR TITLE. “Here comes ole Cap'n Hank.” “Huh! What wuz he ever cap'n of 2 “You young fellers is all-fired smart, ain't ye? Dod-ding it! thet thar man driv the “bus up tah the Ocean Haouse afore ye wuz bawn FOIBLES OF LITERARY MEN. ONE ADVOCATE. THERE'S some joy in this fateful world, KEATS liked red pepper on his toast. It was the only sure way to T have my share of glee, keep it warm. Disraeli wore corsets, believing that they would enable him to cut And just because my ten-year-old quite a figure in the world. Can spell like Carnegie Joaquin Miller nailed all his chairs to the wall. He was afraid some of his visitors might take a seat. AN EXHORTATION ON DIVORCE. Ernest Renan wore his finger-nails abnormally long, having a PR RUDRIN, git a deevo'ce—git one ob dem t'ings wot yo heah so wholesome dread of Parisian manicures. much erbout dese days! Git one, but don’t go ter cote fo’ ter do Edgar Allan Poe slept with his cat, thriftily believing it. Set right whar yo’ is. Run yo'r han’s in yo'r pock that it always paid to have his mews within reach. ets an’ shell out de coin. Git a deevo'ce f'um some ob Zola would pass whole weeks in the belief that he dat money Ah knows yo's totin’ roun’ in yo'r pants. was an idiot. Thousands of his readers have had the Han’ it ober ter yo'r preachah, wot ain’t got a cent. same idea for whole years. ae top fo'cin’ me fo" ter ‘propriate mah neighbor's chick- Robert Browning never could sit still when writing. A ins! Come across wid de cash. Frien’s, I's sorrerful He had to move around to ? s I's got a appet I's got fo'teen mo’ appetites at keep from falling asleep over sy Ane = home. De longer yo’ wait de mo’ we gwine his work, like the rest of us. BAN GNI ANGI EX ter eat wien we gits started. Now is de Dickens was fond of wear- : VSS ¢ receptive time. Oh, frien’s, ‘pay up! ing flashy jewelry and showy : f Gimme five dollahs, ennyhow. waistcoats. This first attracted attention to the fact that he was a dandy novelist. Bjérnson kept his pockets full of the seeds of trees, scat- tering handfuls broadcast in his daily walks. That is why his plays and books are so full of shady characters. Thackeray used to lift his hat whenever he passed the house in which he wrote “ Van- ity Fair.” It is supposed that he did this to relieve the pres- sure on his hat-band. Count Tolstot, though very rich, wears the cheapest clothes he can buy. That is why they call him the sage of the Russian revolution. It is a sort of allusion to Russell Sage. ROOD over your troubles if you want to hatch disaster. PUGILISTIC. Taking the count. Br'er Johnsing, pass dat basket, an’ keep yor fingers out'n it, too! Rr'er Jones, yo" watch Brer Johnsing, an’, Br'er Dunn, yo’ watch Br'er Jones Oh, brudrin, git dat deevo'ce ! Git dat deevo'ce, brudrin, an’ git a big un wile yo's at it! De choir will now lam loose. MISINTERPRETED. Naggsby—"1 couldn't love a woman with money.” Wagysby—" Why not? Isn't it one of the very best and most acceptable things to love her with 2" Customer—e Are these mustard-plasters goed 2” . Drug-clerk — Oh, yes They are one of the sicks best sellers."" ~ comicbooks.com