Judge, 1906-05-05 · page 7 of 16
Judge — May 5, 1906 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct satirical pieces: **"Finnigin Filosófiz"** features an Irish-dialect character dispensing folk wisdom about marriage, literature, and parenting. The humor relies on ethnic stereotyping common to early 20th-century American comedy—the "stage Irishman" offering counterintuitive observations in exaggerated brogue. **"His Gift to Clara"** is a four-panel comic strip showing a domestic quarrel. A man (Cholly) returns late; his girlfriend Clara grows increasingly angry, eventually attacking him with an umbrella while a goat joins the chaos. The humor derives from slapstick escalation and the era's assumption that women's jealousy and anger are comedic. **"There and Back"** is a brief poem contrasting two paths to success: the slow, committed approach versus the quick return ticket—suggesting people who quit easily. **"Willie Knew"** presents a child-humor joke: after his father explains coal formation scientifically, Willie pragmatically reveals they obtained coal on credit from "Mr. Coke" (a coal merchant), deflating the lecture's pretension. The page reflects early 1900s Judge sensibilities: ethnic humor, domestic comedy, and anti-intellectual satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FINNIGIN FILOSOFIz_s. OME marriages, sup- posed t’ be ma-ade in hevvin, raysult in a divvle av a mess. Ut's none av wan -half av th’ wur-rld’s bizness, begorrah! how th’ other half lives. Ut's a quare thing, ut is, thot th’ fewer frosts a public shpaker incounters th’ more ice he cuts. Minny a wan av th’ mod- hern novvles thrills ye wid th’ reeliza-ation av th’ author's nade av rest at th’ toime he wuz writin’ ut, Shakespeare wuzn't in th’ sa-ame class wid pla-ay-writh- ers av th’ prisint, an’ ut'’s a dirthy sha-ame he isn't aloive t’ be congratula-ated on th’ fact. Payrints wid no more sinse than t' lave their childher t’ be dhragged up be hoired nur-rses is doin’ th’ poor little gossoons a grea-at favor be riddin’ thim av sich companions an’ ixamples as sich fool payrints wud be till thim. STRICKLAND W, GILLILAN. ‘THERE AND BACK. PON the road that leads unto success Some men go slowly and their bridges burn, While others chooce to take the fast express, But buy a round-trip ticket to return. Ctara—" Oh, Cholly, don’t be so angry!"” = HIS GIFT TO CLARA. Where have you been all this time? Tell me instantly!"* Why, dear, it hasn't been so long." * How dare you say that? Why, you've stayed out all NIGHT!" WILLIE KNEW. MB: BLIGGINS had put in about an hour the previous evening ex- plaining in words of one syllable to his little son the geological theory of the formation of coal-veins—how they are the result of the decomposition of vast forests that existed in riotous profusion in the prehistoric era. ‘This evening they had company, and Mr. Bliggins turned to Willie and asked, ** Willie, how did we get coal?” «Got Mr. Coke to trust us for it,” Willie replied. 4 Ctara—' Oh, Cholly! you've made the goat angry, too.””