Judge — May 5, 1906 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Wasreax Apvexrisinc Ornice— 1313 PUBLISHED WEEKLY At Tue Parker Burtpixc, Fouts AVENUE axp Nixereextm Staeer, Nxw York. Yord Building, Chicago, Mt, TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS: UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. Ove cone year, or sanumbers- + copy, Ove copy, six months, of sb numbers = = =e ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks Tnclding the Cunisrtas Jooce FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries ia the postal union, $6.50 year. Eunornan sates-acexts—/nternational News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, E.C, London : Brentano's, Avenue de" Opera, Paris: Saarbach’s News Exchange, Mains, Germany. The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States ard Great Britain. Infringement of this conyright will be promptly and bigorously prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must inclose a stamped and self-addressed entvelope wth all manuscrtois, otbePtvise return of the Latter when fours unsroailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contributions sent to the Art Devartment should have the sender's fall name and address written plainty on each and every separate shetch. The accompanying Joke or descriptive letler-press should in ébery instance be written upon its indvoldaal picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. Inciosare of stamos to the full amount of postage (s also required, 10 insure safe and prompt return of material not. 1 JUDGE canst be found at any sews-ctand, the publishers will be wader obligations If that fact be promptly reported on postal<card or by letter. ‘THE TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE MUCK-RAKERS, I" IS little short of wonderful how the dramatic and spectacular go with President Roosevelt throughout his career, and we are of those who find the explanation of this in the simplicity and directness of the man rather than in any intentional play for public applause or political advan- tage. A thousand other men could have written the muck-rake speech. In fact, thousands have written in censure of the exploitation of muck in business, society and politics. But the President attacks the problem in a different spirit, rebukes the exploiter who is open to suspicion of selfish aims, and then goes on to express a sim- ple, direct, positive opinion as to certain fundamental conditions of the times which call for serious study. And behold, this testimony of personal conviction proves to be so apt and timely that the muck-rakers are forgotten, and the whole sweep of cur- rent thought is given new direction and purport. President Roosevelt has really outlined a great moral and political campaign. Whether he has hit upon the precise methods by which the evils of the times are to be assailed and routed is yet to be established; but there can be no doubt that he has:sup- plied the impulse and set the chariot of progress in motion. MMIGRANTS! We've got lots of room here, but 45,000 in a week be- gins to look like crowding. || ORKY’S TROUBLES begin to match his name. ing a regular Alexei Maximovitch Pyesikoff time. NEW JERSEY is fixing up a new electrocution plant at a cost of $10,000. It has all the modern appliances, and will be an ornament to the state. SAYS ex-Secretary Fairchild, in order to restrain the monopolists, we must abolish electricity and steam. A fair sample of some of the present-day wisdom which is foolishness. In fact, he is hav- ON THE FOOLISH LIONIZING OF FOREIGN GREATNESS. TIME WAS when the American people gave courteous but none too friendly a welcome to foreign visitors. When Dickens, Thackeray, and Mrs. Trollope came here in the middle of the last century there was no hysterical greeting—least of all, any toadying. Our fathers stood firm in their own self-respect, and considered that they needed not to be instructed by thecomer from afar. Thatis all changed now, and it seems as if a goodly number of Americans stand waiting at the piers to fall worshiping upon the necks of all the nondescript waifs of genius cast up out of the surf of the world-sea. It appears that two sets of enthusiastic Americans were in a desperate rivalry to possess the visit- ing Gorky for advertising purposes main- ly. First one set had him; then the other set got to talking and raised a rumpus, and finally captured their prize and bore him off to a secret hiding-place. Then the other side had an innings and recovered the genius. It was all a ridiculous per- formance. The revolutionist, by over- praise, became a wonder, whereas he is but common clay. Take it all in all, our sympathies are rather with the stranger. F THESE unsettling, seismic divorce decisions keep up, first thing we know none of us will know whether we are married or not. MASE HENRY is afraid the President has got his eye on a third term. Marse Henry frightens about as easy as any man we ever knew. MB: ROCKEFELLER, report says, is engaged in picking out some an- cestors. Of course, with his means, he will take none but the best. MUCK-RaKE, muck-rake? Let’s see; we have heard something about fortunes and inheritance tax, but we can’t quite place this muck-rake business. wat long-term projects are before the people! There is Vesuvius and the Panama Canal, and railway rebate, and Bryan and Hearst— oh, lots of things that do not cease. eee THE WRONG WAY TO FOUND POLITICAL PARTIES. UDGE notes the organization in Chicago of a new national political party. Political parties have been as thick as fleas in our country. Nevertheless, the deliberate launching of a new party with a sounding dec- laration of principles is always a noteworthy event. The new party pre- amble recites: “‘ Realizing that we are at the mercy of an industrial despotism, en- gineered by as merciless a crew of pirates as ever ravaged a main or scuttled a ship.”” This sounds promising. It looks like business. We hear the whet of knives and the whir of daggers. We almost feel like hurling a brick at somebody. The new party says, ‘A merciless band of pirates more absolute and cruel than the Russian autocracy,” etc. When a new ship sets sail upon the political seas with a cargo of inflammable materials like that we are almost sure that there is going to be trouble. While we are at it, we may as well say we are sure of one other thing. When this kind of stuff goes off and works its destructive fury_to the full, the thing destroyed will be the ship itself which carries the cargo. TEDDY going to lay aside his gun? Just when the game is getting big and plentiful? Well, we shall see what we shall see. eee WE NOTE, in the midst of tHe uncertainties of the present time, that Brother Smith of Utah gets a new revelation whenever a new reve- lation appears to be needed. aoe THe LATEST argument for the destruction of Niagara Falls is that the power-people have a right to divert the water so long as they do not interfere with the “‘ rights of navigation.” As applied to the cataract, this is extremely good. BEHOLD the unsubduable American character! While San Francisco was rocking in seismic throes, her people were already thrilling with the prospects of the greater city they would build. To look disaster in the face and laugh is the spirit and habit that survive everywhere in this great republic. The telegraph-operator who clicked this message to the world, “Tam going to get out of the office, as we have a little shake every few minutes, and it’s me for the simple life,’’ expressed the unshakable ¢ opti- mism of the American temperament, comicbooks.com