Judge — April 28, 1906 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LESS THAN HE OFFERED. se] WILL go to the end of the world for you, declared, is necessary to prove my devotion —to manifest the manner in which you have enslaved my heart.” In the stillness that ensued the clock in the library laboriously chimed the hour of twelve, The beauteous maiden who sat near the young man raised a lily- white hand to con- ceal a yawn and murmured, “T don’t want you to go to the end of the world, Harold. That would be entirely But there is a little journey I wish you would undertake.” Tell it to me and I will fare forth like a knight of Tell me, fair one, and I will take up the pilgrim- JUDGE'S FAVORITES. EDNA LUBY ON THE PROCTOR CIRCUIT. Should our girls smoke? the query runs, And all the people feel uneasy. We give the answer true at once: They should, as Edna Luby does, just teazy. too far. “What is it? old upon the quest. age this moment.” ++It isn't so serious as all that," she replied sleepily. +I simply wondered if you wouldn't go home. Papa objects to my keeping such late hours.” NO CINCH. ‘OU will never hear the father of a family refer to an easy proposi- tion as *+just like taking candy away from children.” AN IDEA THAT CAME TO GRIEF. Tou—" Say, Denny, let's fill up de ol’ trunk wid bricks an’ carry de heavy load through de streets. Maybe de peo- ple will take pity on us an’ give us something.” Denny—" Dat's a good idea, Tom.” STRIKE MEASURES. $4 JAMES," says the coal baron to his general superintendent, “you may issue a circular to the trade telling it to be prepared for a sharp advance in the price of coal." “Very well, sir." “And then prepare two circulars, one announc- ing an advance because of the strike, the other an- nouncing an advance be- cause of the unsettled con- dition which existed until it was decided that there Gosel Sanaa Tou—' Say, Denny, | can’t stan’ dis much longer. Denwy—"An' yer notis we are gittin’ pity an’ nothin’ HOW YE RURAL BONIFACE WORKED THE HOPPERS. DURING the summer season I find it necessary to drop De Wolf from my narie when I register at country hotels, to escape the many demands made upon me to assist at festivals, fairs and enter- tainments ; but one.time.I did not do so, and thereby hangs this tale. Last summer, while my wife and a party were au- tomobiling through the state, we stopped at a small town near Saratoga for several days. ‘Mine host” heard my wile sing one day, and asked her if she would sing that evening for a few of his friends, to which she consented. That evening, after dinner, we were sitting on the veranda, when we saw a delegation coming down the road toward the ho- tel. + There!" I exclaimed to my wife; ‘there come the “few friends’ to hear you sing.” About sixty solemn-vis- aged citizens, including every- body except the postmaster, filed slowly into the dining-hall of the hotel, where tables had been removed, chairs pushed back against the wall, and the piano drawn into the centre of the room. We «obliged by giving a few monologues, songs and dances. , The landlord, in a pompous manner, announced each num- ber on the programme. His face would have passed for a good make-up of Simon Legree, and his voice would have given grace to the Sutherland sisters. You would as soon have expected to see an iron-factory making chocolate caramels or a fiery furnace handing out ice-cream as to hear that silvery, soothing-syrup voice come out of that human billiard-ball face. After an hour had gone by I said mis- chievously, ** While Mrs. Hop- per is singing her last song, will some one kindly pass around the hat for the usual contribution ?” One by one the congre- gation got up and sneaked away, and not a soul but the entertainers was in the room at the close of the song. The next day the land- lord asked the postmaster why he did not come to the concert, ‘It wouldn't have cost you a cent,” he said. DE WOU" norPER. DE WOLF HOPPER IN * WANG.” THE less luck a man has the more he believes Denny, ain't dat awful luck?" should be no strike.” give yer a lift. * Say, youse fellers git in front. I'll Where do youse want ter go?"’ Beat it, Tom—beat it!"