Judge — April 28, 1906 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“GLOBE” SIGHTS, “Doing business without advertising is winking ata girl in the dark. You yw what you are doing but nobody else does.” A vision from heaven told Dowie to away his wife; the trouble is, Zion hos had a later vision, telling it to put ay Dowie. * These sayings are from Howe's Atchi- Globe, Tney have the flavor of all hat is written in this Kansas paper. We fess to having acquired the Globe te. We like these things that blow in n the great corn prairies. “An Atchison woman married an out- ‘cown man who calls himself a bacte: gist, but her kin, in telling what he re a little mixed and say he is a Baccha- n. This is another Glode scintillation, and hese sparks blow from the Howe plant as flames from a factory chimney. The Globe's editor recently made a trip around the world, and for months the Globe was full of his travels, The editor declared in one of his letters that he intended to say all that was in his mind before he ‘ back, and after he got back he would cep his mouth shut forever about his This strikes us as leing the most nable mental state in a traveler that have ever known; and so far, since return, if we are to judge from the slobe columns, the editor is keeping his promise. “BATHHOUSE” JOHN’S VICTORY. “Bathhouse” John Coughlin, Demo- cratic alderman in Chicago, is one of June's favorites.“ Bathhouse" has for the ‘steenth time been elected, and though we know nothing at all and care less about his politics, we have come to look with longing for the poems with which he is accustomed to celebrate his recurring victories. This world would be tame without the poetry of + Bathhouse ” John. Look at this, for instance : “Theld her hand that summer eve—the silver moon was shining brightly, Hee soft black eyes gazed into mine and seemed to say, ‘ You're right, all right.’ Adown the lane we slowly strolled—ah, ‘twas an ‘ooisey-tootsey ” night, When Gwendolin and U held hands while walk- ing in the pale moonlight. “Since then I've held some pretty hands— some helped to make my pocket ligh The flush, the straight and other ‘ mitts’ have nearly broke me many a night. tut my advice to all young men is: Play them to your bosom tight, And never sit between’ two gents unless you | know that buth are right.” ‘The alderman professes to be far from pleased with this effusion, but he admits that it made a hit at “ Hinkey Dink's” place. For this reason his own modesty was overcome and he consented to give it to the public. “If it had not been raining,” he said, “I could have put over am right at home in the vogly vein.’ We wish it had not been runing. y A REFORM GONE WRONG. We regard the failure of Assemblyman Reilly's laundry reform in the Albany legislature as a public calamity. The Brooklyn statesman asked that Chinamen be compelled to write their laundry tick- ets in English. The Albany bunch of Solons refused to issue this wise compul- sory edict. Now let public indignation smite the Albany legislature. Chairman Wade, of the taxation committee, it is said, throttled the measure, and for no better reason than spite. The chairman has but one arm. The other arm was lost years ago in a saw-mill. The owner of the saw-mill was a person hy the name of Reilly, It is only natural that Wade should hate the very name of Reilly thenceforth. But a purely personal feel- ing should not block the road to a great reform. The millennium should not wait ‘on malice. When Wade learned that the laundry bill was introduced by Reilly (although he did not pretend it was the saw-mill Reilly) the slumbering hate of years, awoke and he did everything in his power to defeat the Brooklyn reformer’s scheme. Hence Chinamen will go on as heretofore writing laundry checks in their vile scrawl, and a man will never know whether he has a receipt for his shirt or a grinning joke on the cut of his jib.” PRECAUTION, “Say, you seem to be always on the lookout for trouble.” “Well, you've got more chance to dodge anything that you see first.”— American Spectator. LUCKY MAN! “Pete” Stivers found a five-dollar bill on the street to-day. The owner of the bill got there in time to get in on the last round of drinks.— Leesville (.Mis- | sourd) Light. A HIGHBALL. “Good-morning, Mr. Ryetop,” greeted the clerk in the big city hotel, “1 hope you enjoyed that old Scotch I left in your room while you were out.” “Tt was pretty fair,’ drawled Farmer Ryetop, rubbing his parched lips, + but, be gum ! that thar siphon you sent up had’ the strongest stream of fizz water | ever tackled. Why, 1 went to make one of these here highballs, an’ the blamed thing came near blowin’ me through the window.” The cletk looked puzzled. “Siphon? Why I didn’t send up any siphon.” “Yes, you did. It was red and bound with brass bands.” “Great Scott ! tomatic fire - extinguisher.” Dispatch, Fas Danie anil Relea Packer's Tar Soap Pure as the Pines An Ideal Shampoo with healing and antiseptic properties. Soothes |the scalp. Strengthens the Hair. Recommended by Physicians. ‘The Packer Mig. Co., New York Why, that was the au- Columbus BY ANY OTHER NAME. Citizen—“Is it true, as some people say, that members of the senate really take bribes from interested business men 2?” Senator B.—" No, indeed | That yarn is absolutely unfounded, We never ac- cept anything but an occasional commis- sion."—Somerville Fournal. Mra. Winslow's Sooth- y lor their children. asc a bottle. RIGHTLY DEFINED. Teacher —" What are the three per- sonal pronouns 2” Pupil— He, she and it.” Teacher— Give an example of their use.” Pupil—" Husband, wife, and baby.” — New York Times. No family side-board complete without Ab- beat’s: Angostura, ters. Wine dealers and druggists. HER FIRM STAND. An Hibernian maid, fair and fat, Knew emphatically where she was at; Said she: “ Bring your beaux, I'm not talking of theaux, But, sure, fer me own, Ill stand Pat.” -Baltimore American, A BUSY WOMAN CAN DO THE WORK OF 3 OR 4 IF WELL FED, An energetic young woman living just outside of New York writes “Lam at present doing all the house- work of a dairy farm, caring for 2 chil- dren, a vegetable and flower garden, a large number of fowls, besides managing an extensive exchange business through the mails and pursuing my regular avoca- tion as a writer for several newspapers and magazines (designing fancy work for the latter), and all the energy and ability to do this I owe to Grape-Nuts food. “Tt was not always so, and a year ago, when the shock of my nursing baby’s death utterly prostrated me and deranged my stomach and nerves so that I could not assimilate as much as a mouthful of solid food, and was in even worse condi- tion mentally, he would have been a rash prophet who would have predicted that it ever would be so. “ Prior to this great grief I had suffered for years with impaired digestion, insom- nia, agonizing cramps in the stomach, pain in the side, constipation, and other. bowel derangements ; all these were fa- miliar to my daily life. Medicines gave me no relief- nothing did, until a few months ago, at a friend's suggestion, 1 began to use Grape-Nuts food, and sub- sequently gave up coffee entirely and adopted Postum Food Coffee at all my meals. “ To-day I am free from all the troubles I have enumerated. My digestion is isimply perfect, I assimilate my food with. out the least distress, enjoy sweet, restful sleep, and have a buoyant feeling of pleasure in my varied duties. In fact, I am a new woman, entirely made over, and I repeat, I owe it all to Grape-Nuts and Postum’ Coffee.” Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. There's a reason. Read the little book, “The Road to Wellville,” in packages. A Walk in’ the Country with a bottle of EVANS’ ALE to round off the jaunt— that’s the “Spring Tonic” you need. The acrobat isn't the only fellow who shouid take a tumble to himself.—Exe, My repeat orders are proof postive that my cigars are what claim them to be. Argue as you may as to what I can or cannot do, say what you may as to why men order their first hundred cigars of me, you cannot get around the evidence that the repeat orders offer, Tha: evidence can be con- strued only in one way— that every man who reorders has tried my cigars, proved them and found that I do as I say. Ihave had over seven hun- dred of these repeat orders in one week, requiring over one hundred thousand cigars to fill them. Isn't. that proof positive that my cigars are hetter than my advertising ? When thousands of other men have tried my cigars and liked them sufficiently well to go to the trouble of reorer- ing from me, isn't it possible that you will appreciate both quality of cigar and economy in ordering from me ? That there may be no risk to you in trying the cigars, I make YOU the following offer : MY OFFER IS: upon request, hundred Shivers’ Panatela Cigars on approval toaread- er of THE JUDGE, express prepaid, He may smoke ten cigars and return the remaining ninety at my expense If he Is not pleased with them; If he Is pleased, and keeps them, he agrees to remit the price, $5.00, within ten days. Simply enclose business card, or give personal references, and state’ whether mild, medium or strong cigars are wanted, HERBERT D. SHIVERS 919 Filbert Street, Philadelphia, Pa. ‘The COYNE BROS. Write for free catalogue to Coyne Bros. Co. 839 10th Aven, New York ‘Our snewer to (ts el-tmportant question to mn and boys wiling to LRARI and Hara 8, B? KLAYING—PLASTERING 8 IN THE WORLD [RADE SCHOOLS ‘CO. TRADE * @ Portland, Oregon— or Boston In Four Days from New Yor! *—NEW YORK CENTRAL LINES