Judge — April 21, 1906 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NO KOWTOWING WENT. HEY tell this one on former Governor George Hoadley of Ohio: Once upon a time, in the midst of a campaign, Mr. Hoadley was to deliver a speech at a little town in the great and glorious Buckeye state. When he reached the one hotel the town boasted he walked up to the register and wrote his name. The proprietor-head-porter-stew- ard-head -waiter-depot-run- ner was behind the desk in his shirt-sleeves, his hat on the back of his head, and a cigar-stump held between his teeth, When the visitor had put down his John Hancock, the factotum turned the register around, read without a flicker of an eyelid the name there writ- ten, wrote **10” beside it with alead-pencil, and said, «You kin jest take yer grip right up that stairway there an’ back down th’ hall clean to th' end. Yer room ‘s right on th' left-hand side of th’ hall, in th’ corner— number to."" . With considerable astonishment and not a little injured dignity, Ohio's chief executive pointed to his name, smiled faintly, and said, «am George Hoadley.” «Yep; I notice,” said the rustic without turning a hair. yer room's right there at th’ end of th’ hall—number to. which end to believe."* “An Can't With more hauteur, and almost quivering with outraged impor- tance, the guest said impressively, «Lam George Hoadley, governor of the state of Ohio!” Turning then with a look of exasperated impatience on his face, the hotel-man exclaimed, + Well, what d’ye expect me t' do—kiss ye?” STRICKLAND W. GILLILAX. Y by J IN A QUANDARY. Monx— He {s wagging his tall very friendly, but he ts growling so | don't know WHAT PUNCTURED IT. ‘THAT awfully cold night,” went on the explorer, «+I slept on a newfangled something they called a pneumatic mattress, made out of rubber—blowed up like a football, you know, only a different shape—that is, I went to sleep on that thing, but woke up in the mid- dle of the night flat on the ground, with all the air.escaped. You see, the weather had turned even colder in the night, and the goose-pim- ples that came out on my body had punctured the rubber. What ?” THE UPSET PRICE. Automobilist— Well, how much do you consider yourself damaged ?” Farmer Brown— “Wa-al, two hundred dol- lars is my upset price.” “FOREIGN TITLES. Auditor —“ But why do you call your lecture +Radium’ when you don’t mention that article at any stage of the evening's talk?" Lecturer—«Well, knowing the fondness of the American people for foreign titles, I made one bold stroke for popularity by choosing a title as foreign as possible to my lecture.” CONSOLATION, Traveler (at railway junction, four a. m.)—* Is there a telegraph- operator here? I just got in and want to send a message immedi- ately. Train-caller— No; but if you had been here any time up to midnight you could have sent it.” THE FOOL WHO ROCKS THE BOAT. WIEN on the troubled sea of matrimony you would float, Be very, very careful that you do not rock the boat. Ss ws Tw Lea Kx = | PEOPLE YOU'D LIKE TO LYNCH. ‘The person who chases you a block to hand you a piece of paper you tried to throw away. icbooks.com