Judge, 1906-04-07 · page 6 of 16
Judge — April 7, 1906 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces: **"A Scotch Heresy Trial"** (main cartoon): Mocks Scottish court proceedings through exaggerated dialect testimony. A witness struggles to recall whether a minister said anything improper, eventually admitting he was distracted by a fat woman, leading to an absurd theological observation about the Resurrection. The satire targets both Scottish legal formality and religious pedantry—the trial seems concerned with doctrinal heresy while the witness couldn't focus on spiritual matters. **"Case of Necessity"** (top): A Frenchman claims he'll die without a woman's company; the response sardonically suggests starvation as the real issue—satirizing Continental romantic dramatics. **"Their Family Tree"** and **"Helpful Johnny"** (shorter pieces): Light domestic humor about mistaking a family tree diagram for a railway map, and a boy's "helpful" suggestion to a toothached girl. The page exemplifies *Judge*'s blend of political/social satire with genteel humor aimed at upper-class readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CASE OF NECESSITY. “Ah! wizout her | shall diey monsteur.”* * “H'm! Starvation, | presume?” A SCOTCH HERESY TRIAL, faction) —+ Will you now tell us, Mr. Campbell, what you thought Counsel (for the plaintiffs) —+ Are you acquainted with the min- when you heard the minister make that very extraordinary state- ister of Ayrlie Church?" ment?” Witness (alter considerable hesitation)—* I am.” Witness (after. fully five minutes’ meditation)—+ Wull, sin’ ye Counsel—* You have often heard him preach, have you not? press me A’'ll tell ye joost what A’ thocht. There wus sittin’ afroont Witness (after still more lengthy hesitation) —**I ‘ev."" o' me ane big fat wumman, an’ as A’ lookit at her A‘ thocht ta mesel’, Counsel—"* Have you ever heard the Reverend Mr. McPherson if th’ Lord cooms ta tak yon body awa’ on his back it'll be lang time say anything out of the way in his sermons ?” afore he cooms back fer th’ rest 0° us."” Witness (after ie , THEIR FAMILY- about three min- \ . Nair TREE. utes’ delibration) \ AIO s6 COUSIN AB. —"Wull, sum. om) \ \\ \\ WY\\ NER of- % | h \ \ : \ AW Soopers fit] fended papa terri- Z - bly while he was here,” said the fluffy girl. Oh, indeed ? How?" inquired the trim girl. “You know papa is so proud of our family-tree, and has it hand- somely framed on the library wall. Well, Cousin Ab- bath nicht A ‘eert ner studied it all ‘one afternoon, un- him declarrit as n th’ Lord loe'd us een \ . 5 der the impression a’ sae muckle thut nt Y it that it was a rail- he'd coom an’tak Jc Mew y P way map.” us a’ aboon ta s hae'n on his back.” a HELPFUL JOHNNY. never as long- Counsel (with | rue Suste—" Oh, I've got auch a horrible toothache! A rte Susie—" Oh, I've got such a horrible toothache!"* ae & smile of satis Beorwer Jonnny—""Think about something pleasant, Be glad you're not an elephant with teeth like that." _ lived as a grudge. met. Counsel (be- coming warm)— ++ Now we are get- ting at the truth, Will you please tell the session just what you heard the minister say?” Witness (still hesitating and gaz- ing vacantly through a window) —"Wull, ane Sab- te A KINDNESS is