Judge — April 7, 1906 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BUBBLES. | Well-known stamping - ground — the| post-otfice. Cart-wheel dollars are not the only kind hat go. thyie bravest-looking underwear some- times has a shrinking disposition. During the darkness of the flood no doubt Noah rigged up an ark light. It is not always good table manners to turn the tables. The man of letters cannot take his e's if he o's too much, Some potters live by means of their umings. Tie small boy with his first watch is | having the time of his life. When some people harp on one string it is a string of lies. It is a persevering undertaker who ac- complishes all he undertakes. Man may want but little here below, but he often longs for it. Every dog has his day, but the fleas are on him both day and night. Love seems to resemble a bottomless pit when some people fall in. Taking a better half ought to be no half-hearted transaction. The fruits of the spirit are absent from many a family tree. “remember! I remember, The house where I was born,” He mused, “the window where the sun Came peeping in at morn. The sitting-room, the kitchen, And the door that from it led, When my father murmured, «Johnny, You come out here in the shed 1°" —Philadeiphia Bulletin, SOME PLACE TO GO. Congressman Gardner, of Maryland, tells a story of an English minister who was called to the bedside of a dying pa- hishioner to offer him such final consola- tion as was possible. ““Opkins,” said the dominie, « you're asick man.” “Lam,” replied Hopkins. “You're going to die, ‘Opkins,” con- tinued the other. groaned Hopkins. “You've been a bad man, ‘Opkins” “Thave.” “You can't expect to go to heaven.” “I know it,” said Hopkins. “Then, ‘Opkins, you'll have to go to the other place.” “Yes,” said Hopkins, sighing deeply. “Well,” concluded the consoling pas- tor, “you ought to be thankful that you've got somewhere to go.” The first thing in the morning, if you need a bracer, should be a tablespoonful of Abbott's Angostura Bitters in an ounce of sherry or a glass of soda. Try it. Next to having his congregation in- crease his salary, the country minister likes to have his congregation raise it.— Somerville Journal. ~|an end. is pronounced by Doctors to Le a beverage of high nutritive value, wholesome and delicious. It enriche: the blood and promotes Prover assimilation of food. Bulls bone, sinew“ character. AN APRIL LILT. March, the braggart, loud and sturdy, now has vanished from the list, and we hear the hurdy-gurdy with its ‘swarthy melodist. Talks of moving and spring cleaning, Coney Isle and Easter hats, form the topics charged with meaning in palatial Harlem flats. Partly owing to the climate, April’s slow with tears and smiles ; tardy, too, each feathered pri- mate in the wood's cathedral aisles. Hot- denish, in fact tomboyful, April loves to smile and flout, but the heart of man is joyful, for the bock-beer signs are out. Now ‘the jokers crack their best nuts about winter underwear, (The foregoing thyme with “chestnuts” came quite naturally, we swear.) And the poet, bravely climbing up Parnassus till he’s sore, halts a moment in his rhyming just to find out “what's the score ?"—New York Sun, ‘The Sohmer Piano has successfully passed the most severe critical test by the highest musical talent in the world. NATURALLY. Squass—"1\ see that statistics show that men who pay their bills promptly actually live longer than others.” Amrix—* Well, that stands to reason. The doctors can’t afford to let such valu- able patients die."—Exc, “COFFEE JAGS” THE DOCTOR NAMED THEM CORRECTLY. Some one said Coffee never hurts any- one." Inquire of your friends and note their experiences. A Philadelphia woman says : “During the last two or three years 1 became subject to what the doctor called ‘coffee jags' and felt like { have heard men say they feel who have drank too| much rum, It nauseated me, and I felt as though there was nothing but coffee flowing through my veins, « Colfee agreed well enough for a time, but for a number of years I have known that it was doing me great harm, but, like the rum toper, | thought I could not get| along without it. It made me nervous, | disordered my digestion, destroyed my| sleep, and brought on frequent and very | distressing headaches. * When I got what the doctor called a ‘coffee jag’ on, | would give up drinking it for a few days till my stomach regained alittle strength, but I was always fretful and worried and nervous till I was able to resume the use of the drug. “About a year ago I was persuaded to try Postum, but as I got it in restaurants it was nothing but a sloppy mess, some- times cold, and always weak, and of course I didn’t like it. Finaily I prepared some myseif, at home, following the dire tions carefully, and found it delicious. 1 persevered in its use, quitting the old cof- fee entirely, and feeling better and better each day, till I found at last, to my great joy, that my ailments had all disappeared and my longing for coffee had come to “TL have heretofore suffered intensely from utter exhaustion, besides the other ailments and troubles, but this summer, | using Postum, I have felt fine.” given by Postum Co., Battle Cree! There’s a reason. Restaurant cooks rarely prepare Postum Coffee properly. They do not let it boil | long enough. CURTAILING THE RISK. “1 see that there is a city ordinance against drowning dogs in the river.” Yes, sunken barks are dangerous to navigation." —The American Spectator. SPRING IN SOUTH CAROLINA. The beautiful weather for the last ten days makes one feel like taking a real full-length bath.— Greer Observer. | EDITOR WILL STICK. | The editor of the Stillwell (Ind. T.) | Sentinel is going to grow up with the| country, Heisastayer, Hesays: “The editor of this paper is here to stay. Some who are kicking against him and his methods will turn their toes up toward the blue vaults long before this editor does, and he will be here to note their removal from Stillwell. Some of the peo- ple now in Stillwell have to get out of town, and they will before the town amounts to anything.” NOT ABSOLUTELY. “ Are you keeping Lent?” Well, not so rigorously as that five you touched me for a month ago ii Philadelphia Ledger. ‘A LOT IN LIFE, Country boys may have their acres, We don't care a jot ; Just for simple boiled-down pleasure Take the vacant lot. It has space to lasso cattle On the rolling plain, Space enough to be a pirate On the Spanish main, Room enough to scalp an Injun In the forest gloom, Room enough to lick an army To a sudden doom. Howsoever life is builded Close in every spot, Hope the years will leave for playing Just a vacant lot.— Brooklyn L: MS SHAVING STICK « BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY” Don’t allow yourself to be persuaded into buying something recom- mended as ** just as good ” as Williams’ Shaving Soap. An experiment with one of the: ubborn and serious face with a Williams’ Shaving Soaps have a reputation of nearly thre: a reputation for purity and for always le a century back of them the face soft, smooth and free from irritation. guarantee worth more than the few penni ferior soaps ? e ‘just as good.” kinds may leave you sorder, of ng Isn't such a saved on in- quarte! Williams’ Shaviog Sticks, ‘Sbaviag Tablets, Tollet Waters. Talcom Powder, Jersey Cream THE J. B. WILLLAMS CO., Glastonbury, Conn. Tollet Soap, Williams’ Tar Soap, etc., sold everywhire Williams’ Khaving Stick (Trial Size) sent for de. In stampa Write for * The Shaver? Guide and Correct Dress.” Its free. 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