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Judge, 1906-03-24 · page 12 of 16

Judge — March 24, 1906 — page 12: what you’re looking at

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Judge — March 24, 1906 — page 12: Judge, 1906-03-24

What you’re looking at

This poem satirizes the American installment-purchase system popular in the early 1900s. It follows Willie Smith from birth through fatherhood, showing how each life milestone—crib, toys, college, marriage, home furnishings—is purchased "on easy weekly payment." The satire's point: installment buying had become so normalized that it trapped working-class families in perpetual debt cycles. Rather than owning items outright, they faced endless "grim collector's calls" demanding weekly payments. The repetitive structure emphasizes the inescapability—even the next generation inherits the same financial burden when Willie Smith's own son is born and the cycle repeats with "a small installment." The poem critiques how consumer culture, enabled by credit systems, had become a permanent feature of American life, leaving no escape from weekly financial obligations. It's commentary on economic vulnerability disguised as humorous verse.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

illette Safety Razor /-NO STROPPING “NO HONING THB... World-Famed Blade OF FINEST STEEL «The Gillette” Blade is made of steel of neolithic asad and rolled int plate under a ther. Rely heat, and empered ferfal ‘Vwentieth ry. 40 satisfying shaves trom each blade. “The Gillette saves $52.00 each year. “The letie™ saves 18 days? 24 Keen Edges It Satisfies Every User 12 Blades, At This Low Price, OUR NEW COMBINATION SET with razor, including soap and brush in silver holders for traveling mea. Sold by Leadiog Drog, Catlery and Hardware Dealers. ‘Ask to see them and for our booklet, cot write for our special trial offer. GILLETTE SALES COMPANY New Yo: HIGH LIFE. Knicker—" What will become of their children ? Bocker—" They will be taken from the servants of the father and ought up by the servants of the mothe JOHN JAMESON mn KK WHISKEY | Based on the principle that the aim of distillation should be PURITY. ‘THE BEE-LINE. “Thaven’t seen Baggs lately ; he seems tohave disappeared all of a sudden,” said the first drummer. “Yes,” put in the second drummer ; “he went west in a bee-line.” ? What was the matter 2?" “Nothing. [say he went west to drum up trade for a honey manufacturer."— Philadelphia Press. Intending purchasers of a STRICTLY FIRST. CLASS Plano, or Piano and. Self.Player combined, should net fail to examine the merits of the world: renowned SOHMER PIANOS and the \SOHMER - CECILIAN which surpai Catalogue mailed on application. SOHMER & COMPANY, New YorK. Ww Cor. 5 Inside Players, nd St. BLOOD POISON FOR MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS sry, "Biend Potion Permanently Cored: You can be treated at home under same guar- anty. Capital $300,000. solicit uh obstinate cases. If you methods of treatment and pains, Mucous Patches in Trobe, Pinplen CoppersColored Speen, Ulcers on any’ part of iy, Hair or Eyebrows falling out, write for proofs of cures. too-page Book Free. COOK REMEDY Co. 1480 MASONIC TEMPLE, Chicago, IIL, U. S. A. ‘A BIOGRAPHY IN INSTALLMENTS. When Willie Smith was one day old His father bought his crib, Some trinkets for his hands to hold, His bonnet and his bib— In fact, the necessary raiment, Upon an easy weekly payment. When Willie Smith was quite a lad He was like other boys ; He was not happy till he had His complement of toys. His father laid out every Sunday The payment to be made on Monday. When Billy Smith had finished school To college he was sent. His mother said, Pa, send him, Be very glad he went.” So Billy went, but on condition Each week they'd send on his tuition. When William Johnson Smith was wed He took his happy spouse To their new furnished home, instead Of to a boarding-house. He said he thought by being thrifty Each week they could remit twelve-fifty. When William Smith (the second) came His father bought a crib, A silver mug that bore his name, A bonnet and a bib. Each week the grim collector's call meant They had to pay a small installment. —W.D. Nesbit, in American Magazine. You'll FOOD HELPS IN MANAGEMENT OF A RAILROAD. Speaking of food a railroad man says: “My work puts me out in all kinds of Tee: _| weather, subject to irregular hours for meals and compelled to eat all kinds of food. “For seven years I was constantly trou- bled with indigestion, caused by eating heavy, fatty, starchy, greasy, poorly- cooked food, such as are most accessible to men in my business. Generally each meal or lunch was followed by distress- ing pains and burning sensations in my stomach, which destroyed my sleep and almost unfitted me for work. My brain was so muddy and foggy that it was hard for me to discharge my duiies properly. “This lasted till about a year ago, when my attention was called to Grape- Nuts food by a newspaper ad. and I con- cluded to try it. Since then I have used Grape-Nuts at nearly every meal and sometimes between meals. We railroad men have little chance to prepare our food in our cabooses, and I find Grape- Nuts mighty handy, for it is ready cooked. “To make a long story short, Grape- Nuts has made a new man of me. I have no more burning distress in my stomach, nor any other symptom of indigestion. I can digest anything so long as I eat Grape-Nuts, and my brain’ works as clearly and accurately as an engineer's watch, and my old nervous troubles have disappeared entirely.” Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. There's a reason. Read the little book, “The Road to Wellville,” in packages. LET THE CHILDREN TELL THEIR OWN STORIES. Send ten cents for one of our ‘Story Pic- tures,” beautifully printed on heavy coated per. Each one is a complete story by itself, t with no reading matter. The little ones will spend happy hours weaving their childish fancies into stories about the pictures. These pictures, pasted in an album, with their little stories written out, will make a most beautiful souvenir of a child's early life. For fifty cents we will send seven cuts, not one of them of a character to be out of place in a child's hands. Address Judge Company, 225 Fourth Avenue, New York. Bareas will send you all newspaper appear about iF trrends, you gant to be ap to date Press WILSON Thats All! “ Put on your gloves, my child.”* “1 don’t want to. It's too warm, mam: * Never mind, child, put them on. Your hands are altogether too dirty to be seen. 7 Scan’ newpaper and. porveaical of UnuZa Stacey dad Rorope ts wearcheds Ferma, Gs for too notices. Haxay Romaine, 3) Union Square, N. Ys 0 CENTS No, 204-AARCH, 1906 JUPGH’S LIBRARY, A A _HARD-LUCK: PASSENGER #ieny eo IN THIS NUMBE 7 AE RAR RENE SIE ey