Judge — March 17, 1906 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HEY had been married three weeks and had just commenced house- keeping. He was starting to town one morning as she followed him to the door. They had their arms wrapped around each other and she was saying, Oh, Fred! do you think it possi- ble that the day can ever come when we shall part in anger 2" «Why, no, lit- tle puss,” he said; “of course not. What put that fool- ish idea into my little birdie’s head, eh?” “Oh, nothing, dearest. I was only thinking how perfectly dreadful it would be if one of us should speak harshly to the other.”” + Well, don’t think of such wicked, utterly impossible things any «We can never, never quarrel.” +1 know it, da Good-bye, you dear, dear old precious— Oh, wait a second, Fred! I've written a note to mamma. Can't you run round to the house and leave it some time to-day ?” «Why, yes, dearie, if I have time.” “Ifyou have time? Oh, Fred “What is it, little girlie?” + Oh, to say if you ‘have time’ to do almost the very first errand your little wife asks you to do.” + Well, well, dearie! I'm awfully busy just now.” “Too busy to please me? Oh, Fred, you hurt my feelings so!” JUDGE'S FAVORITES. BEATRICE MORGAN. We wonder why the fickle throng Pass up their shekels for the show: We wonder, but not very long— We see you act and then we know. “Why, child, 1" ««T'm nota child, Fred. ried woman, and I ""—— «There, there, my pet! ‘No, no, Fred! If 1 was your P-pet you'd t-t-try to-to "—— «But, Maud, do be reasonable.” Oh, Fred, don’t speak to me so!” aud, be sensible, and ™. “Go on, Fred, goon! Break my heart!" «Stuff and nonsense !" «Oh, 0-0-oh 1” «* What have I said or done?” + As if you need to ask! But go! Hate me if you will, Fred ; ** This is rank nonsense ! “T'll_ go back to mamma, if you want meto. She loves me, if you don't.” «You must be crazy “Oh, yes; sneer at me, ridicule me! Perhaps you had better strike me!” He bangs the door, goes down the steps with a jump, and races off, mut- tering something about women being the “queerest creatures.”” Of course they'll make it up at night, and they'll have many such a lit- tle tiff in the years to come, and when they are old they'll say, “We've lived together forty-five years and never—no, never—spoke a cross word to each other in all that time.” I'm a mar- TO A FLIRT. (Am acrostic.) ‘OU, of all maidens, are fair- est. Oh, pity me! Unhappy my lot, my rarest, All on account of thee. *E* Royalty hath not thy graces, Each but a thorn to me} Angels could change faces Fortunately with thee, INCREDIBLE. He—« Congress will never be com- posed of women.” “Why do you think so?” Can you imagine a house full of women with only one speaker?” A POETIC FLIGHT. The editor—** What became of the manuscript of the poem, * Two Turtle-doves "2" The office-boy—1 dunno. Love comes at looking In thy bright eyes, ‘Twinkling in night's skies. AVERETT MC NEIL. P'r'aps it's flew into a pigeon-hole.” ARGUMENT OF THE HEAD PIRATE. Twe PLAIN pinates—'' Yes: but don't some of the swag belong to us?" Twe wean Pirate (toying with his revolver)—"* Now, boys, don't discuss that question or you will get into deep water before you know It.” comicbooks.com