Judge — March 3, 1906 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CHANCE FOR GOOD GUESSERS, NCE there were two lads, Paul and William, who entered the employ at manufacturer at the same time. .’aul devoted himself assiduously to his work, and so did William; and in time they were familiar with all the operations of the concern by which they were employed. Paul had the interests of his employer at heart, and after many years of thought and experiment he devised a plan for bettering the product without increasing the cost. William also devoted several years of time and thought to the product, and at last he invented a process by which it could be made forty per cent. cheaper to the manufac- turer by means of undiscoverable adultera- tion, and the price to the consumer could be kept at the same figure. Ten guesses will be allowed each contestant, and the question is which of the boys is now a partner in the con- cern. ASKING THE IMPOSSIBLE. S4MADAM," said the young man to the famous expert adviser on household economics, “I have called to request a per- sonal interview with you as to how a young couple may live on fourteen dollars a week. Iam a trifle bashful and modest, and did not like to send the query by mail to be treated in your regular newspaper department.” ++I shall be glad to advise you,” replied the expert kindly. say you are earning fourteen dollars a week and want to live on [am earning forty dollars a week, but want to live on fourteen and save the": ++ Impossible. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. ESTELLE WENTWORTH, PRIMA DONNA OF We've never been to“ Happyland™ ourself, but think we know Just how things ought to look in such a beatific show: And having ‘seen your “picter" we do not hesi- tate To say you fit into our view of * Happyland "first rate. ** MAPPYLAND."* A FEAR, s6S0 YOU think that this concentra- tion of wealth is the inevitable outgrowth of our civilization?" ++I do," answered Mr. Thinker. + And you must admit that the ul- timate result of such a condition would be to put all the money under the con- trol of one individual.” Yes.” «+ Well, it seems terrible to think of.” «What does?” “The possibility of some billionaire get- ting out of temper some day and making up his mind to discharge the entire human race.” A PUZZLE. CADET said, “If x means ‘unknown,’ Why, we'll just have the greatest fx. We will puzzle the col., With riddles infol., Concerning the greatest gx.” A CHRONIC COMPLAINT. ‘ssPOCTOR, my eyes are out of order, I see double all the time.” «+ How long have you been reading meters for the gas-company 2” ‘THE MOST NOTABLE WAY, TOO. AT shall we do to live forever?” asks a western preacher. Nobody can convince you that you can live on fourteen dollars a week if you are earning forty.” HAN | y Z Za s “" THE BOY IN THE FLAT BELOW. Youna ratuer—* What do you suppose my little boy did yesterday?" Bacnetor (who lnvs in the flat above)—"* | really can't stop to listen now, old chap, unless—er—(hopefully)—it wasn't anything they could hang him for, was it?" oe Wi u The simplest way is to come to New York and kill somebody and live till you're executed, A MODERN INSTANCE, ‘AS the widow at the funeral?” «Which one?”