Judge, 1906-02-24 · page 11 of 14
Judge — February 24, 1906 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements and humorous short pieces**, not political satire. The main content consists of: **Humorous Anecdotes:** - Brief comedic stories about everyday life (roller-skating rink crowds, clergy mishaps, marketplace haggling) - Jokes playing on misunderstandings and wordplay - Short quips about human nature and social behavior **Notable piece:** "Maud Consented" depicts a clergyman mishearing a couple's request for "a ramble" as a proposal for marriage—the joke relies on the period's social convention that courtship proposals were serious formal matters. **Advertisements:** - Piano manufacturers (Sohmer) - Tar soap for hair care - Life insurance - Hat company (Dunlap & Co.) - Cigar sales advice **Context for modern readers:** This reflects early 20th-century *Judge* magazine's typical mix—light domestic humor without sharp political bite, interspersed with period-appropriate product advertisements. The comedy assumes readers understand social hierarchies, courtship rituals, and small-town American life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MUL TITUDINOUS REVELRY AT ALGONA, Tne opening of the roller-skating rink to the public Saturday evening was at- tended by a great crowd, numbering Nevciy five hundred. There was a mass Of people congregated seldom seen to- eter, Several were over from Emmets- fir: and Burt sent down a fine delega- . On the floor the scene was exciting—| young and old, gay and sedate, Decem-| Rr and May, ail were there, primped, powlered and starchrd for the occasion. | Tre orchestra enlivened the scene with its charming music, while the surging mass rolled on their wheeled skates jround and around the room by couples, singly, and any old way. Some fell down and others fell over them, while the on- jokers haw-hawed. Occasionally the skates would get away with a man and land him plunk against the wall for re- pairs. It was a whitl of a time where care tnd sorrow were forgotten, and where soft eyes looked love to eyes that spoke again” in a way that would make the scene at the ball at Brussels, when Napo- leon was advancing on Waterloo, sink into insignificance. Miss Pearl Peck is the cashier at the office and Carl Setchell the superintendent of the lubricating department.—dlgona (Ia.) Advance. Sohmer & Co., the great Piano firm, can roint with pride to the magnificent indorsement their instruments have received at the hands of the best native and foreign musical artists. JUST AS GOOD, Marketer —“ How much are straw- berries 2” Dealer—" One dollar a box.” Marketer—“ Give me some good sour pickles —they cost less and taste about the —Cleveland Leader. Mothers will find Mrs, Winslow's Sooth: ing Syrup the best remedy for their children, asc a bottle. STILL UNANSWERED, Bacon—" If it had been in these times that Billy Patterson had been struck, it would have been pretty certain that an automobile did the striking.” :gbert— Very likely; but the ques- Who struck Billy Patterson?” would be just as far from a solution as ever."— Yonkers Statesman, YES, Opportunity hammered on the man’s door until he awoke. He achieved success. And spent a long life in attributing his success to his own keenness,— Louisville | Courier- Fournal. | Some men impress us as being such hustlers that they never have time to do| any work.—Phiuudelphia Record. For Danduf and Baldness Packers Tar Soap Pure as the Pines An Ideal Shampoo with healing and antiseptic properties. Soothes the scalp. Strengthens the Hair.' Recommended by Physicians. | ‘The Packer Mig. Co., New York. | , Nuts food and I sampled it. | Nuts army. | physically by THE SINGING HABIT. Father Cummings, once superintendent of the Little Wanderers’ home, attended a watch-night service, and closed his tes- timony by saying, “It may be but a month longer that I shall be here, per- haps a week, or even before the close of| another day I shall be gone.” He had hardly seated himself when a young man in the back of the vestry started the old song, “Oh, why do you wait, dear broth- er, oh, why do you tarry So long ?"— Christian Register. MAUD CONSENTED, A clergyman who is absent-minded, tells how he once unconsciously helped a bashtul swain, He was pondering some- thing theological when a neighbor's daughter, walking by with her diffident lover, called out to him, “Oh, doctor, w are just going for a ramble. Won't you join us?” “With pleasure. Do you want the ceremony in a church?” The bashful lover was suddenly fired with an enthusiasm that four years of gna his heart-strings had failed to arouse, he fairly shouted, «Yes, yes; and Maud consents, the sooner the better. Maud consented FOOD AND STUDY. A COLLEGE MAN'S EXPERIENCE. “All through my high-school course and first year in college,” writes an ambi- tious young man, “I struggled with my studies on a diet of greasy.epasty foods, being especially fond of cakes and fried things. My system got into a state of general disorder and it was difficult for me to apply myself to school work with any degree of satisfaction. I tried differ- ent medicines and food preparations but did not seem able to correct the difficulty « Then my attention was called to Grap something, so I just buckled down to a rigid observance of the directions on the package, and in less than no time began to feel better. ina few weeks my strength was restored, my weight had increased, I had a clearer head and felt better in every particular. My work was simply sport to it was formerly. Ly sister's health was badly run down and she had become so nervous that she could not attend to her music. She went ‘on Grape-Nuts and had the same remark- able experience that | had. Then my brother, Frank, who is in the post-office department at Washington City and had | been trying to do brain work on greasy foods, cakes, and all that, joined the Grape- I showed ‘him what it was and could do, and from a broken-down condition he has developed into a hearty and efficient man. « Besides these I could give account of numbers of my fellow-students who have | made visible improvement mentally and the use of this food.” Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. There's a reason, Read the little book, “The Road to Wellville,” in packages. VUESNITY. A girl I once knew in Duquesne, Who lived at the end of a luesne, Received a bouquet On a bright summer duet, But her quest for the sender was vuesne. —Pittsburg Gazette, No creditor can touch the proceeds of a life insurance policy : The wife and family have a prior at- tachment—that is, if issued by the PENN MUTUAL LIFE, 921-3-5 Chestnut St., Philadelphia. Thad to do} ! THE SEASONS. In the summer, in the summer, When the grass is bright and green, When the flies who want to enter Butt their heads against the screen, When the farmer in the sunshine Puts his time in making hay, And the whole world ‘s hot and dusty, Then the iceman has his day. In the winter, in the winter, When the days are short and cold, When the man who's only forty Feels like sixty, bent and old, When your feet and hands are frozen Till you don’t know which is which, When the mercury goes down cellar, Then the coal man getteth rich. —Somerville Fournal. Add a little Abbott's Angostura Bitters to a glass of wine and you'll be surprised what a delightful tonic it makes. ‘THE GRIEFS AND THE PINCHES. Tillie Grief has returned from Worth- ington. Her friends welcome her home. | Sophia Pinch was among the friends |who called on Tillie Grief Sunday after- noon. Herman Ruh and wife Sundayed with Joe Pinch and his family. Glen and Emil Grief enjoyed a horse- back ride Sunday afternoon. Joe Pinch made a flying trip to Cen- tralia, Sunday, Peter Grief and family attended church at Centralia, Sunday.—Dyersville (1a.) Commercial. If Evans’ Ale Does so much Good for others Why delay? Clata, Hotels, Restaurants, Saloons ‘anid: Dealers: Every bere. Celebrated Hats correct in every particular. “Ornatus et peaiaa” Le SPRING STYLES Now On Sale. New York. Chicago. Philadelphia. And Accredited Agencies in all Principal Cities of the World, * Manufacturer to Smoker" explains but partly the values that I give. There are two ways ot selling cigars— |through jobber and retailer, or direct from manufacturer to smoker. There are two kinds of sell- ing expense—dealers’ profits and advertising. In selling cigars direct to the consumer the manufac. turer cuts out the dealers’ profits, but he must substitute advertising for the dealer in order to reach his buyers. Now, if his’ advertising ex- pense equals what the dealers’ profit would be, nothing is gained for the smoker—that manufacturer cannot give the smoker any better value than the retailer does. That is where so many « Factory to Fireside” dealers fall down, And that is where the real secret of my way lies. I not only save all dealers’ profits, but | cut down my advertising expense per hun- dred cigars sold to almost nothing. How do I do this? Simply by selling such good cigars that my customers re- order again and again, so that eventually [ usually’ sell THOUSANDS of cigars as a result of one reply to an advertisement. Therefore, when I say that my plan enables me to cut out practically ALL selling expense and to sell direct to the smoker at_ whole: prices, | mean just that. Summed up, the whole success of my plan depends upon giving the extraor- dinary value that [claim to. I am as ready to prove to you by evi- dence as by argument, and to that end I make at my own risk this offer : MY OFFER IS: Iwill, upon request, send one hundred Shivers’ Panatela | Cigars on approval to a reader of Judge, express prepald. He may smoke ten cigars and return the remaining ninety at my expense If he Is not pleased with them; If he Is pleased, and keeps them, he agrees to remit the price, $5.00, within ten days. Enclose business card or give personal references, and state whether mild, me- dium or strong cigars are wanted. HERBERT D, SHIVERS 919 Filbert Street, Philadelphia, Pa. SAME THING. I did not make a new resolve When the old year did flit-o ; I took the one I made last year, And wrote beneath it, * Ditto.” — Yonkers Statesman, LIST OF THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS SOHMER PIANOS Sohmer Building, Quy mistoom Sth Aven cor tit St. Yorn Fastest Trains in the World—On the New York Central. comicbooks.com