Judge — February 17, 1906 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FOR ILLUMINATING PURPOSES ONLY. “Mrs. Hummer, the boarding-house mistress, seems to be quite smitten by young Firefly, and they say he's very stupid, “Yes: but she said he'd be so helpful, because he'd do away with gas-bills.”" SUCCEEDED TOO WELL. HE multi-million his vast forest-preserve. “I's a mistake,” he sighs; «I went too far. Now that I've bought up all the land for forty miles in each direction and have fenced in the property, not a soul can come around to see how I am enjoying my money. I'll have to induce some one to get out a court order compelling a road to be cut through my property, or T'll he as forgotten as a hermit.” NATURALLY. MV step-ma and stepesisters go With my step-brothers everywhere, And while they journey to and fro ‘They oft occasion quite a stair. HERE wouldn't be so many breach-of-promise suits if Cupid didn't get cold feet. ire sits in gloomy and lonely grandeur in the heart of A SUGGESTION TO THOSE BEING INVESTIGATED, KNOWING the fatigue that must overcome trust officials when answering with one phrase every question put them by im- pertinent investigators, we have prepared the following list of variations, which will be found useful. Variety is the spice of life, and the pleasure of being investigated can be greatly en- hanced by using the following instead of the tiresome «I refuse to answer by advice of counsel ": I, by advice of counsel, refuse to answer. I refuse, by advice of counsel, to answer. I, to answer, by advice of counsel, refuse. By advice of counsel I refuse to answer. By advice of counsel I, to answer, refuse. By advice of counsel, to answer I refuse. To answer I, by advice of counsel, refuse. To answer I refuse, by advice of counsel. To answer, by advice of counsel, I refuse. Refuse I, by advice of counsel, to answer. Refuse I to answer, by advice of counsel. Refuse to answer I, by advice of counsel. Any bright trust-officer can easily learn these by heart by burning a little midnight oil and without taking any time from his routine duties. If suffering from faulty memory (a failing not uncommon with trust persons), the list can be written on the cuff before entering the witness-chair. A pleasant touch can be added also by intonling these answers in the Episcopalian manner, or chanting them ; but singing them in rag-time is not considered good form. NLL PARKER BUTLEK REMAINS, ITH trembling fingers the sorrowing father opened a small box which had just been left by the postman, When the lid was removed there lay revealed a boy’s shoe, part of a cravat, a collar-button. sighed the grief-stricken old man, gazing on the a ring, and “Al fragments, “1 always feared that Clarence couldn't stand the hazing.” THE REASON. T ISN'T fo' de gold I wants ter climb Fame’s slippery staih. T guess I ain't too proud to dig An’ get dat gold-dust heah, "t dat I wants ter see Mah name in black an’ white. I guess mah fists is spry ‘nuff Ter get dat any night. De reason why I wants ter be Right in ‘mong dem sheep Is ‘cause I's mos’ partic’lar ob De company I keep. NATURAL INFERENCE. Green—** My wife heard that Goar—"" Sa: biamed * sassy. the play is immoral.” Hastings— How many seats did she buy?” — Give it to him, fellows! — 3. —Say! he was a tough one, but we knocked him out all right.” THEY KNOCKED HIM OUT. comicbooks.com