Judge, 1906-02-17 · page 10 of 16
Judge — February 17, 1906 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a theatrical satire mocking the inflated rhetoric and empty promises surrounding a newly elected congressman's departure for Washington. The "lyric drama" format parodies the grandiose send-off the newcomer receives from his constituents, party leaders, and press. The satire targets several absurdities: constituents treating him as a savior ("greatest ever," compared to Webster and Clay); the editor's self-congratulation for "naming" him; the congressman's melodramatic vows to "hold the Ship of State" while standing "high on the summits"; and the obsequious chorus of pie-hunters, school-teachers, and party leaders pledging blind loyalty. The central joke is the disconnect between humble reality and grandiose expectation—the young politician promises the world while his constituents remain home doing "deeds of humble worth." Judge suggests politicians routinely exploit constituent worship and patriotic rhetoric to advance themselves, knowing their lofty promises are theater.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Lyric Drama of Contemporaneous Human Interest in Two Acts and So Forth. Time, December and after. Place, His own district and Washington. Banb oF Laptes : Take thers flowers, noble leader ; You have won the wreath of fame. In the broader field of battle ACT I. You will get there just the same. (On his departure from home for the scene of his arduous duties.) Dramatis Persone: Constituents, District Leaders, Party Editor, Press-gallery Fiends, the New Member, Old Ones, et al., and others, Cuorv ConstiTUENTS : Right you are, fair ladie: Room for our Representative ; What is ours is his. Room for the statesman who, . And he'll show them Washington statesmen Resplendent, shines clean down the lines ‘The kind of a one he ts. Because he is fresh and new. Room for our Representative—room ! THE New CONGRESSMAN (when the applause has subsided) : Fist Friends and fellow-citizens : Biel Now burns the statesman’s blaze in me Bang ! Which shall consume the foes BOOM! Of every measure for the good Of you who now repose Ctorus oF VorERs (assisted by the brass band): Your trust in me. (Applause.) Dear friends, I thank Oh, he is the greatest ever! You for this honor great, Shades of Webster and Clay, And here I promise solemnly And all the other big ones, "To hold the Ship of State Please stand out of the way! True to her course, through thick and thin ; Party EpiTor : And though the angry seas We were the first to name him, May buffet her, my efforts shall We were the first to say Preserve our liberties. (Applause. He was the one of the party While you remain at home and do Who ought to lead the way Your deeds of humble worth, We point with pride My duties take me far away To the man we send To meet the great of earth. To Washington But, friends and fellow-citizens, To watch and defend Whatever else may be, The people’s interests, Task no greater meed than that And they may feel You will be proud of me. (A voice, + You're the goods !") The good he'll enact High on the summits I shall stand, And the bad repeal. While you are otherwher Yet, in the clouds, I'll not forget "Twas you who placed me there. And as you upward gaze at me, Where I shall shortly live, Remember always that Iam Your Representative. (Vociferous applause.) Cuorus : Hi, ho, the Editor ! The power of the press decrees it, For he is the man who knows The best thing when he sees it. POSTMASTER : Into his hands our all we commit, . Hi Knowing how safely he'll look after it. Twa CHorus OF SCHOOL-RoYS : Crown him with bay and with laurel, Wee 5 Nite Oh, gee! ain’t he great? Statesman and scholar and friend. te 1 ore Wouldn't you like to be his mate? He's of us and with us and for us, ANY NG Ve And he'll be just the same to the end. Cuorus : Get onto him! Ain't he a wonder? He'll make all Congress stand from under. SCHOOL-TEACHER : Dear little boys, when you grow up, If you are straight and trim In everything you think and do, You may be great as him. PARTY LEADERS: We are holding him before you, And promise you shall see Him like a star of glory In the Nation's galaxy. ‘We feel that we have chosen THE New CONGRESSMAN (from the The truest and the best, rear platform.) And if we do our duty Be sure he'll do the rest. (Whistle of the approaching train is heard at the water-tank. Grand rush to shake the hand of the departing statesman. Train arrives. Statesman goes aboard.) Farewell, dear friends, farewell ! Although the sacrifice CHORUS OF PIE-HUNTERS (with spirit): Is great in doing what I do, Hooray, Hoorsy!: He's there:t9 swipe Tue New Meuser (recklessly) —"" | want a show, I gladly pay the price. The plums as fast as they are ripe. and the people of my district "—— (Continued on third advertising page following.)