Judge — January 20, 1906 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FROM THE PINHOOK CORRESPONDENT. ESTERDAY somebody placed a small soft-shell mud-turtle in the post-office at Pinhook, with a paper pasted on the shell addressed to «The Game and Fish Commission, St. Paul," and with four cents in stamps affixed. Halvor Trelawaey, the postmaster, was immedi- ately much troubled in his mind as to what his duties in the matter might be, and, going to the long-distance telephone, called up the postal inspector in St. Paul and conversed with him as follows : ‘Hello! Is this the post-office inspector at St. Paul 2" A feeble, uncomprehending answering «+ hello" was the response. ++Is this the post-office inspector at St. Paul ?” he shouted again. “Yes. What's wanted? Hurry up! Who is this speaking 2?” + This is the postmaster at Pinhook. Do you hear me?” +Yes, oh, yes. Well, what can I do for you?” + T want to know is a turtle mail?” «Turtlemale? What's that? Turtle"—— “Yes. Is it? Is it mail—is"— “How's that? Say it over again.” “Is a mud -turtle mail?" “Sure! Some of ‘em are. ! “How? Some of them mail ?” “Yes; Why? of course. “ve got one here that wants to go to St. Paul." “Him! Ill take ita long time.” “What — what is that?" “Oh, nothing. To St. Paul, you say 2” Can I for- ward it ++ Say, what's all this about, any way 2?” «« What section is it under 2” «What ?” “Section — which section?” **Sex? You said it was male.”* ++ Postal -law sec- tion, not sex." +*Say, let's have that again—say it all over. Commence fresh.” Well, dear me ! is” it proper for mail? Is it mail at all? Will it do for mail? Is it like bees? “Queen bees are mail, you know.” Tue wour: thought you owls were wise," TRAPPED. *So you married a woman of few words, and now she bosses you? | Newty-wep owL—"' That's just it, She says a word to the wise is sufficient." ‘TWILL BREAK HIS HEART. Bronco Bitt—"' De sheriff hez posted a reward uv fifty cents fer Roarin’ Rube, dead or alive.”” Grizzty Pete—"' Dat'll be poor Rube's finish. When he hears de size uv de reward he'll kill himself—fer shame." “What ails you, man? Is this a puzzle? Queen bees are not male at all. You are ‘way off. What do you want to know, any way ?"” “For heaven's sake! haven't you got the idea yet? Somebody wants to send it to St. Paul. Can I send it?” “Say, this is awful! Why not send it? + Would it go first or second class ?” “Neither, of course. It wouldn't be a passenger—it would go by freight or express.” + How—how’s that?” «« Freight or express.” «Freight? Express? Send this kind of mail that way ?" “Say, cut that out! Tell me what you want or ring off. I'll faint away in a minute.” ‘+Is it mail? Tell me that first.” “We had that all over before. course, and some are not.” “Which are?” can't get that.” “Which which are?” Send it for all of me.” Some are, of are— ‘Louder! Which a minute, ¢ postmaster hung up his receiver a moment, and then, re- turning, took again and it down called over the wire in a subdued tone, it don't make any difference now, any way. > My dog just got in and et the mud-tur- tle." “Thank God !" said the inspector fervently. Le SUEUR LYRE, WHAT SHE LIKED. NEW YORK girl who keeps house for her father and brother has a delightful colored cook, just up from the south. After she had been with the family about a week. she an- nounced, one morning, «Dere’s two tings I like erbout yo’, Miss Clara. One 's yer piano playin’ an’ de udder ‘s yer figger.”