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Judge, 1906-01-20 · page 14 of 16

Judge — January 20, 1906 — page 14: what you’re looking at

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Judge — January 20, 1906 — page 14: Judge, 1906-01-20

What you’re looking at

This is primarily an **advertising page** from Judge magazine, with several small satirical anecdotes interspersed. The notable humor pieces include: **"What Saved Him"** — A military joke about a soldier confined to the guard-room. The humor relies on the corporal's *illiteracy*: he cannot spell "insubordination," so cannot formally charge the soldier, thus saving him from punishment. The joke mocks working-class soldiers' lack of education. **"How Elijah Went Up"** — A children's bible lesson gone wrong. A schoolboy conflates the prophet Elijah's ascension to heaven with the children of Bethel (who mocked him) and adds the "Red Sea" — mixing biblical stories. The humor is in innocent childish confusion. **"The Golfing Clergyman"** — A clergyman, upset about losing at golf on the last hole, absurdly quotes scripture the next day as if it condemns losing games. The satire mocks the clergy's pompousness. The page otherwise contains advertisements for Pears' soap, Sohmer pianos, "Bugville Life" (an illustrated children's book), Trimble whiskey, and Cook's champagne.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Pears A soap is known by the company it keeps. Pears’ is found in good society, everywhere. The use of Pears’ Soap betokens refinement. Scented, or not, as you prefer. THE “SOHMER”’ MEADS THE LIST OF THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS SOHMER PIANOS Sohmer Buildirg, ory microm Sth Aven. cor tit St. Forts THAT'S ALL. It isn’t just to say that lovely woman is curious. She simply wants to know.— Somerville Journal. AHEAD OF THE GAME. ~ Yeast—* Is he behind with his tailor ?” No; he's three suits ahead, — Yonkers Statesman. Bugs and Animals that Talk T WILL, amuse both ‘ig and little folks to see Ul Gon Dist any ba ‘ond nd imal vn talking, and. acting fast grown-ups, To this artat Telongs the detinction of gpening our eyes to ibe qoaint itl le in oor midst, and his work is ‘now famous. His’ best drawings have been collected and published, with accompanying verses, in a charming litle book eal “Bugville Life on the most welcome and a kilt you can buy for ‘ chide ains sixty tix yages printed on heavy wood-cwt paper with the accompanying verses in large, clear ty Cover in colors was designed tape: ropriat ft cont i " Bugville jogether with five Saocy Posares tf Lise Oven, tenied co dark, heavy board for litle fngers to handle, ‘cents WHAT SAVED HIM. When a soldier is confined in the guard-room for an offense it is customary for a written copy of the crime to be handed to the commander of the guard. The other day a non-commissioned officer and a party of men were told off for a} certain fatigue. The corporal having given an order, one of the men seemed disinclined to obey, when, after having rebuked him sharply, the corporal shouted in angry tones, “It's a good job for you, my lad, that I can't spell ‘insubordination,’ or I'd you in the * clink * (guard-room) jolly HOW ELIJAH WENT UP. The vicar of St. John’s, Gainsborough, England, says that recently the scholars in his parish were asked to give an ac- count of the translation of the prophet Eljah to heaven, and one boy wrote: “Elijah, the prophet, was carried into heaven by a whirlwind, and the children stood up and cried, *Go up, thou bald head! Go up, thou bald head !' and be- fore he went up he divided the Red Sea.” you do drink. drink Fi, one” ble “This glass we fill to the many gone And the few that are left us 'y Green Label. AT ALL FIRST-CLASS DEALERS, —Buffalo Commercial. THE GOLFING CLERGYMAN. A parallel has been found for the young curate who said, «Here endeth the first innings.” An English clergy- man on Saturday was beaten in a golf tournament by a put on the last green. This seems to have preyed on his mind, for on the following day he gave out his text as follows: “In the eighth chapter and the thirty-sixth verse of the gospel according to St. Mark, you will find these words to be written, *For what shall it profit a man if he shall gain the whole world and lose the last hole ?*"—Ex. Delicately Colored and Mounted Pictures MaKe a Cozy and Attractive De ONE DOLLAR wil bring the above seria of thee pictues, beasti- fully colored and mounted, sie 132 15% 50 cents wil bring any ove piture you specly 5 cents wil being our Blue Booklet oo Dens, with llus- ORDER TO-DAY Address® JUDGE COMPANY 925 Fourth Avenue, New York tion trips you take next summer,—. "NO BETTER. Now is a good time to plan the vaca- know you can't afford to Americans® with a geericination taste. prefer [HAMPAGNE ~7in/ Foreign ag cost twice as much because they are obliged to pay duty and ship freight. SERVED EVERYWHERE AMERICAN WINE CO., ST. LOUIS adjoining pews | A BIG BUNDLE OF BOOKS. Send one dolar and we wil forward you a ge supply of back numbers of L Yasuavee mat Srperlaing een dianor—ceith au simple and tp dtmert of Jocns and: other ght read Present for your country friends, a royal feast fo Ser a regular bonanta forthe cir terse” Nites ‘cent some Senos whteutimen” hake Teas Canto 225 Fourth Avenue, New York. j ° CHURCH FRIENDS. Church—“ Are you acquainted with Flatbush ?" tham— Oh, yes; why, we sleep is Yonkers Statesman, When words fail to express‘a woman's contempt for a man he enjoys a mo ment’s peace. Just the thing for an easy chair by the fireside these winter days Judge's Library, a MAGAZINE OF FUN For February Sixty pages of good funny stories that will make you take a cheerful view of life. On all News-stands Price 10 Cents