Judge, 1906-01-13 · page 6 of 16
Judge — January 13, 1906 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous miscellany page from Judge, an American satirical weekly. The main content includes: **"The Man, the Cat, the Gun, and the Tank"** — A slapstick story about Oscar Wilte of Pinhook who attempts to shoot a cat perched on a water tank during freezing weather. His upward shot punctures the tank; water sprays down, freezes instantly in the arctic cold, and encases him in ice until rescued. The joke is physical comedy—the would-be hunter becomes the victim of his own miscalculation. **Miscellaneous jokes** include absurdist humor ("Fell Over"), puns ("Sore on Herself"), and social commentary on New York City life—highlighting contrasts between a naive Midwesterner and urban realities (cheap rent doesn't exist; undertakers mistaken for marriage bureaus). The cartoons use exaggeration and irony typical of Edwardian-era humor. The overall tone suggests urban sophistication mocking both rural simplicity and modern city absurdities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FOILED Burotars (on outside)" Dis is no place fer us." THE MAN, THE CAT, THE GUN, AND THE TANK. HEN the thermometer stood at thirty degrees below zero the other day, and not a breath of air was stirring, Oscar Wilte ot Pinhook tried to shoot a cat that had been giving him a great deal of trouble and discomfort with nightly serenades. He chased the animal around a while, attempting to get within range, but it was shy and kept out of his way. At last it ran up into the framework supporting the water-tank and sat there, hissing and spitting at him, Standing directly beneath the cat, Wilte shot straight up at it, for- getting that the tank was within range. The bullet missed the cat and pierced the bottom of the tank, and in an instant the water, gushing out, surrounded Wilte with a perfect shower-bath, in a regular arctic temperature. Instantly his overshoes froze to the stone foundation on which he was standing, and the spray, freezing in the terrible cold as fast as it fell, was slowly changing him into a statue of ice, stiff and immovable as stone. At this point the little son of Mr. Wilte, who had seen the entire affair, ran for assistance, and the north-pole statue was hurriedly lugged into the kitchen, where it soon melted down to its human A QUESTION. {AP Lazarus heeded the ery Of the rich man in torments new, Could we say, without telling a lie, He was giving the devil his dew? FELL OVER. Astonished friend—“ What is the matter, George—been in a fight or attacked by a bull-dog ?” George—« Neither, thank you. I have just discovered a short cut from the top of that cliff to this beach.” SORE ON HERSELF, * Elastic-skin man—“ The two-headed girl seems to be sore on herself.”" Human pincushion—* Sore! Why, she wouldn't even tell her- self if her hat was on straight.” WHY? waste my grand, poetic wy strength In writing seven-stanza thrillers IN FUNNY OLD NEW YORK. ‘THE man from Dubuque was talking to the Gotham bank-clerk. +I have a nice seven- room house with a yard for twenty dollars a month,” he said, + Heavens!" exclaimed the bank-clerk. + Do you mean to say you can rent a house with a real yard for twenty dollars a month? Go tell that to the marines!" On a wager of fifty dollars fat man bets he can gain ten pounds in ten days. After four days of special feeding he finds he has lost one pound! And yet some think all is brightness and joy in the great city. Boston couple, young, blooming, came to metropolis to get married. Went to what looked like a marrying centre and were turned away. Too bad. It was an undertaker’s shop. Vacant New York store has following sign across the front : «This place has removed four blocks north to 18th Street.” Man got divorce from his wife. She had playful habit of tickling his feet with a feather. She also objected to the marked way in which he turned his toes in when he sat ina chair. Mr. Jerusalem has persuaded the court to let him rename him- self, He is now Mr. Jerome—not the one you've been reading about. ‘TONGUE-TIED, CARPENTER, who was named Cholmondeley, Was stupid and did his work bolmondeley. When reproved by his boss He was quite at a loss For words, so just looked around dolmondeley. NO WONDER. 44 ELSIE DAVIS is the best pianist in our smart set. Her pedaling is simply marvelou: “Yes; but I think it a pity for her to pedal so conspicuously well. It may remind some people that her grandfather was a peddler.”” THE MAIN TROUBLE. 46THE main trouble with pedestrianism as an exercise,” said the man with mental strabismus, ‘is that when a fellow first be- gins it his friends declare he is crazy, and that when he has been at it two or three days he begins to share their opinion.” UNLUCKY JONES. When they duy poems just this length As fillers"? Yes: Mr. Jones died last August, and his wife followed him in just two weeks." Gad! what an unlucky cuss Jones is!”