Judge — January 13, 1906 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Av Tae Panger BUrLpixc, Fourrm Avenue axp Nivereextm StRxet, New York. Wasteen Apvexrisinc Ori 343 Harford Building, Chicage, Mt, TERMS TO § RIDE! UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN One copy, one year, or szmumbers= = One copy, six months, or 96 numbers + ‘Ove copy, for thirteen weeks Including the Cunisrwas Juoce FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS--To all foreign countries in the postal union, $4.30 year. Evnorean sates-acexrs—laternational News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, E.C, London : Brentans't, Avenue de" Opera, Paris; Saarbach's News Exchange, Mains, Germany. The contents of FUDGE are protected by conyright tn both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this conyrght will be srometly and bigorously prosecuted, CONTRIBUTORS mast inclose a stamped and self-addressed ertveioce with all manuscrists, otherwise return of the Latter when found unavallaNe cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contributions sent to the Art Department shoald have the sender's full name and address “written plainty on each and every separate sketch. The descriptive letter-press should tn ébery instance be ‘written upon tts indtoidaal picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. insure safe and promot retum of material not accepted. LESSON OF THE TWO-TAILED COMET. RROFESSOR PERCIVAL LOWELL of Harvard announces a two- tailed comet. One tail extends north and the other northeast. We take it there is some special reason why this two-tailed visitor has arrived at this particular time. The astronomical bulletin says it appeared ‘* just to northwest of E 2935."". We have no idea where that is, but we hold none the less that the celestial phenomenon is weighted with some important lesson or admonition which we should diligently consider. Now, what does this comet sig- nify? What but that the time is come when a great political leader is due? Then we look toward the White House, and it occurs to us that here may be the expla- nation of that E 2935. President Roose- velt is the new political leader flourishing among the constellations. But the two tails? And why are they extending in different directions? Apparently these two tails are not dwelling together in unity. They are flustered, hotly divari- cated, dissentient, anything but docile. Our mind lazily drifts over the expanse of this problem. We travel the length of those ruffled, unquiet tails heading respectively north and northeast, and suddenly occur to us Odell, Flatt, Merirtt, and all the lesser names that go to supply lustre, such as comet-tails are made of, and here we pause. Our two-tailed comet may now retire. Its message is delivered. But the lesson? It’s easy and ap- plies to no mere local fractiousness. Your leader always breathes new life into his party, blazes the way to fresh achievements. Then comes the boss to rig up his machine out of this fresh material, and beside the boss arrives the grafter with his axe to grind. There is room in the Republican party to-day for leaders—strong, patriotic men with the stuff in them that made a Washington and a Lincoln. Eternal vigilance alone can hold in check the fiery tails that shoot out behind and rage and consume in the path of the men who pioneer the way of progress and civilization. WHERE 1906 PREDICTIONS AGREE. HOROSCOPES, readings and foretellings for 1906 have been issued from all the prophecy centres and may now be compared. The variety of fortune and misfortune offered by the diviners is greater than ever be- fore, and by discreet elimination and piecing together every one may now pick out a series of happenings according to his individual desire. What strikes us about the outgivings of the predictive tribe are the broad lines of resemblance and agreement to be found. Some get their information from the stars; others just get it without any assisting media. Now, when these variously-derived foreshadowings are found to agree in the main items who can resist the argument in favor of their genuineness? These forecasts, for in- stance, all agree on Russia. There ait dark times ahead for Russia. ‘ The posi+ tion of Saturn and Mars in the eleventh house’ shows this to one, while another simply sees it without help from anything. Dukes and nobles will have to be very careful everywhere in Muscovy; disaster broods over the empire, crops and reve- nues will suffer, and without doubt some- thing desperate is going to happen, and even the czar may get hurt. The United States, on the other hand, will fare fa- mously, for “toward the roth of March Jupiter enters the sign of Gemini.””, Why 4 cool Ko this move of Jupiter’s does not take care of Russia we do not know, but it doesn’t. According to another, President Roosevelt is going to prevent three wars, and still another sees danger ahead for him; but it is vague— ing Joke oF of stamps to the full amount of postage (s also reauired. to just loitering round without any settled programme as yet. A Paris pre- diction tells us that Roosevelt is to be another Julius Czsar, but all the home talent insist that he is going to behave very nicely. We are to have some snow in March and some sultry weather in August, and * America will continue as a world-power and the leader of other nations.”” Nothing is said about the Panama Canal, so we are at liberty to think as we like about that. What pleases us is the picture of Uncle Sam bringing the lion and the lamb into such playful intimacy. H! The old world is better than ever. Uncle Joe says so, and Uncle Joe has watched it a good while and knows. PLACING A HALO ON THE PIG. AMERICANS have not yet forgotten how our nation was caricatured as a hog by Spain a few years ago. Europeans still hold rather slighting opinions of us because we are so prosperous and contented. It suits the fancy of the genteel folks over there to think of us as piggishly ravenous for gold, grunting in contentment when we get it and amiably standing with our feet in the trough, so that nobody else can get any, even after we are filled. It is interesting, therefore, to know that an English scientist has come forward in defense of the pig. He has revised the character of the pig in toto; and, what is more, the sole vices of the pig, he says, are of man’s own doing. According to this observer, the pig is not filthy. Left toa normal career, he is cleaner than most animals. The pig is not greedy—he is only healthy; has a good appetite, and is earnest in his efforts to satisfy it. The pig is very particular about his victuals, and will only eat seventy-two kinds of plants; whereas a goat will take 449 and a cow 276. The pig loves his home. He will not expatriate himself, and if you drive him into a strange land he will not stay so long as he can root under a fence or lift a gate from its hinges. Historically, the pig’s standing is excellent. The ancients thought wellof him. Linnzus looked up his pedigree and found no fault anywhere. With the pig rehabilitated, indorsed and approved in such hearty fashion, there is no longer point nor sting to the caricature. If America is a pig, it only means that America is clean, healthy, hearty, happy, of good pedigree, enjoying life, loving home, and normally earnest in pursuit of the good things of the world. ALSO. your Uncle Joseph, surnamed Cannon, stands pat on the millen- nium question. He says we are having more fun the way it is. AND the villain still pursued him—in other words, they're still after that poor man Smoot. FARMERS are witty people. Think of naming a rooster that goes on living without a head Odell! | [A STRANGE new cry is heard in congress. It s a one-word slogan and most curious. It is ECONOMY. AND maple syrup is made from Kansas corn-cobs! Can't keep those Kansas people out of a good thing. ‘ eee CERTAIN Cincinnati gentleman must feel just a little bad to see that $800,000 gift-proposition dying out. i. Gtory BE! First signs of summer have appeared. Entom Smith of New Jersey has asked for $250,000 to fight “‘ skeeters ” with.