Judge, 1905-12-30 · page 6 of 17
Judge — December 30, 1905 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces from *Judge* magazine: **"The Rule Reversed"** and **"Mr. Le Brue is Astonished"** feature a French-accented character (stereotypical dialect humor common to the era) discussing hunting and cooking woodchuck, which he humorously claims tastes like chicken—a joke about culinary deception. **"Broodings of a Boorish Bachelor"** is a series of misogynistic aphorisms mocking women, marriage, and single women—typical of early 20th-century men's magazine humor that portrayed women as vain, materialistic, or pitiable. **"More Enduring"** jokes about mothers' productivity: one child's mother wrote twenty pages; another's completed ten pieces of hemming—implying domestic work is "enduring." **"Sherlock Holmes"** quips that a man's bosom is "overcrowded" with children and needs standing-room signage—joking about large families. **"A New-Year Prospect"** shows a humorous misunderstanding about a letter's cost. The page reflects era-typical attitudes: ethnic caricature, domestic satire, and anti-feminist humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE RULE REVERSED. Mr. Buco—"*| knew he'd get into trouble if he tried to put salt on that bird's tail."" MR. LE BRUE IS ASTONISHED, S6\YAAT!" exclaimed Mr, le Brue, pausing short in dum- founded amazement as, with the result of an afternoon's gunning strung over his shoulder, he met us on his homeward journey and stopped for an exchange of words, ** yo’ nevaire eat Wiat yo’ t'eenk, eh? yo’ leev all yo’ bohn days, woodchuck all roun’ yo’, jes’ lak no woodchuck? Wal, bah gosh! sheeps, en yo’ nevaire hap- pen t’ taste er heem yit! Wrat! Woodchuck no good, yo’ say? Wal, suh, yo’ mek one gret beeg mis- take ‘bout dat. Jes’ yo" try heem once. W’y, yo" tak’ one good nice fat wood- chuck, roas’ heem up good en brown, den shut bot’ eye—so—en yo’ swah he's cheecken. Bah gosh! dey in’ nine mans outer ten ken tole de deefrance. «Yas, sub,” continued Mr. le Brue as he again shouldered his game and prepared to move on; **yo" cook heem up rale nice en keerful, so's he's juicy en tendah—leetle onyon en leetle buttah—en, bah gosh ! Ah jus’ leev's hev cheecken ¢s hev heem.” MED BARNEY, NERO had just ordered the burning of Rome. “To drown the con- versation during my opera,” he explained as he tuned up his fiddle. Thus indeed was he a truer lover of music than many suspected, BROODINGS OF A BOORISH BACHELOR. MARRIAGE is the appendicitis of friend- ship. Self-conceit fits some women like a squeaking shoe. A woman would rather trust a+ nice" man than a trustworthy one. If bachelors should be taxed then big- amists should receive a pension. After the charity fair the patronesses d hegin to say uncharitable things about each other. A woman finds happiness in buying things she doesn’t need at prices that she cannot afford. The love of a mother is the least ex- pensive and most priceless affection on this sordid sphere. How suddenly interesting a man be- comes to a woman when some one whis- pers that he is rich! Don't marry till you have saved some money, and if you wish to keep it saved, why, don’t marry. Old maids, spinsters and bachelor-girls come in for a lot of sympathy that they really don’t need at all. If women knew the arsenic in some cosmetics they would understand the meaning of «the fatal gift of beauty.” All the bad children in the house belong to the family on the floor above—so any flat-dweller will inform you. MORE ENDURING. T WAS just at sunsetting that two little neighbors were exchanging con- fidences. “My mamma has begun a new story to-day,” said Elsie, written tWenty sheets.” . Martha drew herself up proudly. declared, *and she says they'll last.” SHERLOCK HOLMES. Materfamilias— Here has to wear a ++ standing-room-only " sign over his chest. A NEW-YEAR PROSPECT. : Wate Mowe—"'Great Scott! and Elph was just wishing me a happy new year.” “She has. “My mamma has hemmed ten,” she Paterfamilias—« Do you think daughter got a love-letter 2” No; it had only a two-cent stamp on it.” THEY do say that Abraham's bosom is so overcrowded these days that he comicbooks.com