Judge — December 30, 1905 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

haan ESELUTE ene eee SS lines Nh) lL THE year 1905 will go into history as a year of investigation, exposure, reparation and restitution. The moral and politcal clean-up has been notable and thorough. The raw material for New-Year resolutions was never more ample. It is all around us. None need be without something to swear off if he is really anxious to be in the glorious procession of the penitent and the purposeful. Taking advantage of the unusual preparedness of the public and the apparent predilection of public men for a period of the simple life, JUDGE: has secured from the leaders of public opinion some sample resolutions which ought to give a strong, healthy forward-thrust, or kick-off, as it were, to the new year. Here they are: ww ut RESOLUTIONS OF OUR EMINENT PEOPLE uw uw uw Theodore Roosevelt—Slothfulness is my great failing. I do not keep busy enough. I must be up and doing. I will never write such a long message again, but try to think up short, breezy things to keep congress and others awake. Elihu Root—Not what we are, but what we may become, should be our motto. I shall devote my best efforts henceforth to becoming what I think I ought to become. I believe I am a becoming man. Charles W. Fairbanks—Let us push up and occupy the high places. Let us lift up our heads and gaze aloft and see that which is distant but well-pleasing. Let us seek only that which is high in this new year. William H. Taft—I was never put on a job that I could not hold down. When I land on a proposition the inflation goes out of it. This year Iam going to make adent in Panama. I will build this canal on the dead level. Joseph G. Cannon—I have reached the age where children are adelight toa man. This year [sam going to be kind to the «+ kids" and have fun with them. Chauncey M. Depew—I hold in scorn the man who rocks the boat. To down this man and make life a great weariness to him is worthy of our best efforts. Thomas C. Platt—It has been my express business in this world to deliver the goods. I suppose I am entitled to a little let-up, but I want none. Never let up is a pretty good motto for the new year. A Grafter (card lost in the mail)—Get good, awful good, and lay low, for times will change eftsoon. Heigh, ho! A Big Boss (name omitted by request) — Never say die till you're dead. Then get up and pulverize the mut that killed you. Watch me res- urrect. John D. Rocke- feller — My mission henceforth is to give more snowdrops to humorists. Scatter these pretty, inexpen- sive things all along life’s highway. Let us all get glad and gay together. Let us forget and forgive. Tne rescuer—"* Now, old man, keep c’—— and polish the pond with you."* DESPERATE. Tue orner—" Look here, Juggins: you're trying to save my life, | know, and don’t think I'm ungrateful. But, by all that's frigid! if you tell me again to ‘keep cool’ I'll climb out of this hole Dr. Washington Gladden—'Tain't money I object to, but who gives it and who gets it. For my part, I will never accept a dollar that does not bear with it a certificate of character in the shape of a Israel Durham—I helped Mayor Weaver in, and I mean to stand by him and help him out every way I can. Mayor Dunne—Let us not seek advice from the stranger within our gates, but take counsel of those that dwell within our own bor- ders; then shall there be nothing to conceal or regret. George B. McClellan—Hold fast to that which is good and let not your heart be troubled. He wins who waits. William R. Hearst—What I like about the ocean is its wealth of ports. If you miss a hundred there are a hundred more where your good ship Fortune may find smooth anchorage and rich cargo. To the high seas for mine. Mrs. Hetty Green—I shall now quit all extravagance and try to save a little something for a rainy day. George B, Cortelyou—Stick to your job. Iam going to try to gum every postage-stamp henceforth so it will stick. Thomas F. Ryan—If you start to do a thing do Harriman. Charles F. Murphy—Thrift is the lesson of the hour. He that forgetteth the harvest in the time of seed-sowing will be extremely surprised when the harvest-time comes to find there is none. Let us plant good seed in good ground and reap mayhap sixty- or even an hundred-fold. Thomas W. Law- son—My motto has ever been, You can fool most of the peo- ple all of the time. The People (sig- natures too numerous to publish) —We have resolved to be good, to see that honesty, justice and the square deal prevail, and make old glory about ten times more glori- ousthanever, Selah, comicbooks.com