Judge — December 30, 1905 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Es Cm —— SS Bee. ——— DerESrag Ss SSS o — if tt As rae Parxen Bore: UNITED STATES AND one year. or «2 numbers = One: PUBLISHED WEEKLY Foumrn AvENUs axp NixeraexTm Stexer, New Yorx. 13 Hartford Building, Chicago, lt. TO SUBSCRIBERS AN a copy. One copy, six months, of 96 numbers = ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks Including the Cnmisraeas Juoce. FOREIGN SUPSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal anion, $4.50. year. Eowornan sates-acenrs—Intermational News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, EC, London Brentano's, Avenue de l" Opera, Paris ; Saarbach's News Exchange, Mains, Germany, The zontents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this conyright will be promptly and digorously prosecuted CONTRIBUTORS mast inciose a stamped and self-addressed eriveione with all manascricts, othefivise return of the Latter twhen found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and ail contributions sent to the Art Department shoald have the sender's full name and address Yeritten plainly on each and every separate shetch. descriptive letier press should in every instance be covitien upon tts indtoidal picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. accepted. insure safe and prompt return of material not. OUR LITTLE SERMON FOR THE NEW YEAR. OF COURSE, dear reader, you have a New-Year resolution ready. You fleer and gibe at the subject in the open and poke fun at your resolu- tionizing friends; but back in the private places of your soul are those re- solves just the same. Some of them will not be ratified; most of those made will be broken. You even tell yourself that you do not mean to keep them, that they are a bit of end-of-the-year serio-comedy which you indulge; but all the same. gentle reader, you are thinking about those New- Year resolutions. On this understanding JUDGE gives you greeting and wishes you well. When Father Time slices off a big twelve months from your allotted span you are bound to have a serious moment with yourself. You find yourself counting thedays * that are gone and making shrewd guesses at the number left, and then inevitably creeps in that New-Year resolution. If it doesn’t there is something wrong with you, gentle reader. That disposition to turn over a new leaf is the best thing about you. Behind it is the blessed illusion that somehow the future is going to be better than the past. Good-fortune is going to smile on you, friends are going to be dearer, life is going to pay bigger dividends. You know, as a matter of cold fact, that this year is going to be a good deal the same as the last, and you will go on being about the same sort of person you have been always, But that warming hope, the enticing dream of the to be, still abides and gilds the door to all your to-morrows. Whether for good or ill, then, here's to the new year— and don’t forget that resolution. | | JUDGE’S LEADING REFORM FOR THE YEAR 1906. CERTAIN Chicago banks, if report be true, have decided to raise their presidents’ salaries. Where the salary is $35,000 it will be increased to $40,000, and salaries of $25,000 or less will be jumped $10,000 a year. An effort will be made in congress to raise the pay of cabinet officers, the vice-president and the speaker of the house to $15,000. Tahing these inci- dents as a text, JUDGE is moved to declare that salary-boosting will be his donninant reform-policy for 1906. Not that he will cease to cherish and champion a host of other needed betterments, but salary-histing will be his keynote clarion cry. First of all, and without equivocation or satiric intent, we declare the president of the United States ought to have a salary of $100,000 a year. That Mr. Roosevelt was coolly barred from the de- served increase is evidence of a mean streak in the last congress. The people would have ungrudgingly indorsed it. During the year past the wage-people have got a nearer look at the salary-people, and they like the looks of the — salaries. Hence we espouse this cause of bigger stipends in full expectation of a great wave of approving and sup- porting enthusiasm. Let every bank-pres- ident have all the salary he wants. Let our public officials fix their own price. Make a minimum of $10,000 for teachers, professors and pastors. Editors, physi- cians, nurses, and other people who devote their lives to the suffering ought to have - from $50,000 up—this to make up for un- requited services in the past. For all ordi- aS nary labor ten dollars a day is as little as od Wy we ought to have the face to offer. Cook- ladies, wash-ladies, and other household jewels should have a diamond a day. In short, in this good year of 1906 let money flow as water from the town-pump. If this is done the year will be without rancor and class- bitterness, for everybody will have all the money each pay-day that he can carry home. . The accompanying Joke or tnclosure of stamps to the fall amount of postage {s also reauired, 10 BERNHARDT is getting in the Patti class as a fareweller. T# AT northwest passage must be a sort of arctic Panama Canal. NO MORE passes on the railroads, and the great walking-match is on, THE BALLOT-BOX certainly is the fortress of our rights when it comes to breaking into it. ABDUL HAMID has accepted peace terms again, Abdul Is a very pleasant sort of a Turk. Op M® RIDGELY says the American people have $1,348,200,000 in gold— but that was before Christmas. A WORD ABOUT CITIES AND TIGER-PITS. OT " OF LONDON tells his British readers: “Shall | sum up the * impression New York made on me? It seemed always to be a vast tixer-pit, in which men and women toiled, fought, tore each other and themselves to bleeding rags in the struggle for existence.” The literature whose keynote is abuse of the big city is growing. Many hands find a grewsome pleasure in painting ever blacker the picture of the wretchedness and the sordid grind and struggle of the me- tropolis. This London impression has a flash- light vividness and brevity that will give it wide currency. It is singular, by the way, that Mr. O'Connor has not drawn a similar picture of his own London, whose starving women lately marched en masse to lay their plea for bread before the prime minister. That he saw anything here which cannot be dupli- cated there is scarcely credible. No sympa thetic observer will deny that in a city like | New York human nature exhibits a good deal of its worst side along with a little of its best. Furthermore, that a haunting misery infests the streets of all our big cities is too apparent to be disputed. But that even New York is a“ tiger-pit, where men and women tear each other to bleeding rags,” is a gross exaggeration. What seems to be the selfishness behind the struggle is really the unselfishness of the unknown great striving for a living for family and self. The diatribes aimed at the alleged baseness of our cities are themselves the most pitiful exhibitions of our times. They show how utterly misunderstood is the present human situation, and therefore how much of the costly efforts at reform is but the stumbling effort of the blind to lead the blind. To the seeing eye the city is not a tiger-pit. It is a world where all are strangers, where want or the fear of want is a co-tenant in countless homes, and where the stones flung at the wolf hit many an unintended victim. The true story of the city has not been told. WE NOTE that the czar’s throne is still tottering. czar’s throne now holds the world-record. As a totterer the wiy was Dalrymple? The secret is out. Tom Johnson owns up. Tom got the Scotchman here, and he is sorry. cee CCROKER settles down for good and all in England, and Cockran be- comes Tammany’s grand sachem. How times change! see AESAR’S THRONE has been found. Wonder who it’s intended for? Lot of suspicious talk of late about the chances of a monarchy over here. eee HAT a lot of fun we are going to have for the rest of the winter! There is the wedding of our Princess Alice, and then there is con- gress and Uncle Joe and the “‘ kids.” comicbooks.com