Judge, 1905-12-23 · page 7 of 17
Judge — December 23, 1905 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century satirical magazine content: **"Under the Mistletoe"** depicts a woman frustrated that men at a holiday gathering are too shy to kiss her, despite the traditional mistletoe excuse. **"How?"** presents a romantic woman pondering the depths of love, while her suitor simply wants affection "any old way." **"Flighty Flea"** is a pun: one flea warns another about "going to the dogs" (a common expression meaning decline), not realizing fleas literally live on dogs. **"The Unreasonable Child"** satirizes wealthy excess—a millionaire father is shocked his son is unhappy despite receiving radium in his stocking, suggesting absurd conspicuous consumption among the ultra-rich. **"Taken on Trust"** makes a mild joke about scrambled eggs tasting better when mixed with alcohol (tom-and-jerry being a hot drink). **"Away!"** is a humorous poem rejecting bedtime stories and lullabies, demanding rest instead. The page emphasizes romance, domestic life, and gentle social observation rather than hard political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Miss Girarre (disgustedly) —"*I never saw such a bashful lot of men! HOW? 64 OW shall T love you, in act and thought?” She asked of her fond adorer. / ++ T long so tu love you as I ought"— And her eyes gazed far before her. « Shall I love you up to soul's highest height, Or down tolife’s daily level ? Shall I guide you where heavenly pathways lead, Or join you in earthly revel? Shall T love you ?""—and then she heard him say, + Oh, teach, or praise, or reprove me— But love me—love me—any old way, So that I'll énow you love me!” MADELINE BRIDGES. FLIGHTY FLEA. First flea—“Ta, ta; I'm off for my Christmas holidays, and I mean to have a lively time, too.” Second flea—" Dear me ; I'm afraid you're going to the dogs.” UNDER THE MISTLETOE. THE RECIPE OF THE PASSE Maude—* And what, in your opinion, is the proper time for a girl to marry 2” Miss Fortyodde—« The first time she is asked.” THE SAGACIOUS DOG. TAKEN ON TRUST. THE scrambled egg we view with doubt ; It cannot make us merry— , But, ob ! we hail it with a shout When in the tom-and-jerry W. Dy EsBrr, ‘THE UNREASONABLE CHILD, Millionaire father — “What's that child blub- bering about ?” Nurse —“ He's disap- pointed over his gifts.” Millionaire father — “What! And I put two ounces of radium in his stocking !" I've been sitting here for half an hour and no one has kissed me yet.” AWAY! AWAY with the road to Sleepistrand And the ferry to Slumber-shore, Away with the path to Yawni-land And the turnpike to Nod-and-Snore. Away with the realm of Winkie-eye And the village of Cuddle-down, And eke with the ocean of By-lo-Bye And the haven of Dreamers.town ! Away with the cruise over Drowsy-bay To the kingdom of Lashes-fall— Away—away with them all, I say, Away with them, once for all ! Of bed-time twaddle and cradle stuff, Of lullabies, worst and best, Of guides to Slumber we've had enough— Now—give us a little rest! Benkam—«There is no need of @ peace congress. I have a better schem« than that.” Denham—« What is it?” Benham—« Give all the janitors a Christmas present.” comicbooks.com