Judge, 1905-12-23 · page 6 of 17
Judge — December 23, 1905 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This humorous poem, illustrated with period caricatures, satirizes German-American immigrant life in early 20th-century America. The narrative follows August Schnable, who stakes his masculine honor on refusing to help his wife with laundry work, declaring he "must stood here py mein post" (must stay at his post) at the beer hall—a comic inversion of the phrase's military connotations. The satire targets both traditional German domestic hierarchy and male immigrant culture, particularly the saloon's centrality to working-class men's social lives. Schnable's stubborn refusal to assist with women's work, then his triumphant assertion of authority when confronted by his wife Lena, reflects period anxieties about gender roles and immigrant masculinity. The exaggerated German dialect and characterizations were typical Judge magazine humor, mining comedic effects from ethnic stereotypes while depicting recognizable neighborhood social dynamics of German-American communities.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WAS wash-day down in Schnitzel street, each frau was at her tub; ‘The air for many blocks around was harsh with rub, rub, rub; ‘The wary’ men had stolen forth, a slinking, hang-dog rank, Deserting from the wringer and their duty at the crank. In August Schnable’s beer-saloon they sought relief and cheer, Tho’ Schnable sai in der rear. Then, as they mildly cautioned him, he made his famous beast = * [make for her no turnings, no; I stood here py mein post !"” fein Lena, she makes vashings slipped by quickly, while the herren sipped and smoked. did his duty till the table tops were soaked jon vanished and a peaceful calm was there, When suddenly a woman's voice rang shrilly through the air: + Oh, Owgoost Schnable, oh,” it cried, you petter came, I guess, The mornii Und make for me some turnings mit der wringer, Owgoost, yes?” Herr Schnable paused and wavered, then, urged on by Y He yelled, “I am on tuty ; I must stood here py mein post A bush fell on the drinkers as they heard his bold def, But August calmly waited with a proud gleam in his eye. Again the voice, “Ach, Owgoost, such a plockheads vat you are! Coom oud und make der turnings or I smash tings in der bar !” A tremor ran thro’ Schnable’s frame, his face grew ashen gray, But courage came and he replied, ‘* You petter go avay 1 got a gang of vrients in here, und me, Iam der host. I make no turnings, Lena, vor I cannot leaf mein post."* Amazed, those Germans listened to the man who toyed with fate. Said one, “* Vy not der wringers turn petore id iss too late?” But, ere the scorn in August's glance could bring the blush of shame, ‘The door swung wide, and on them marched a moist, perspiring dame. 1" she screamed, “come mit me oud und make der turnings quick, Or, himmel, I vill some tings do vot make yuu preddy sick!” But, white as chiseled statue, or mayhap, as graveyard ghost, He murmured, Ach, I got to stuck—I leaf me not mein post !"” 8 if some magic spell drove all his fear away, Ile faced his wife majestically and loudly roared, ‘* Ach, say, Herause mit you—you make a skip! Go; seck em! Yah, dot's right ; L make no turnings py der tub ; but den, py chee, I fight ! You tink I vas a vaiter girls, or some cheap poys, I guess, To make dos wringer turnings ven you holles 24 mee-yeo? Ach, nein, mein frau, I dink I stay vere I vas needet most— I mind mein solcher trainings, yes ; I stood me py mein post.” And then, ‘The woman flinched before his strength, her manner showed distress ; She gazed down at her suddsy hands and wiped them on her dress, And forced to meek submission, then, she sidled through the door, While Schnable, with a happy smile, took up his work once more His friends cried, ‘ Hoch, der hero-mans !* and of his victory gushed, While Schnable kept repeating, + Dot vas notting !" tho’ he blushed ; And to this day, in Schnitzel street, the men oft drink the toast ‘To +Schnable, Owgoost Schnable, vot gestucken py his past CHARLES R. BARNES. A RESOLUTION. RESOLVED—Whereas, church federation may be a laudable object and productive of much good, we earnestly hope it will not result in fewer Sunday-school picnics or Christmas-trees Johnny, Tommy, et \ A SMALL DENOMINATION. Biggs —" What denomina- tion does Deacon Skimpole be- long Riggs—« Well, from the fre- quency with which he asks me to tend him one dollar, I should say he must be a Unitarian,” HOW IT HAPPENED. Eve— Let's go skating, Adami Adam—* AM right.” Thus was precipitated the fall of man. HE rubs her lips with vaseliny A fact I did not know Until T caught her standing Beneath the mistletoe. OUT OF THE ORDINARY. “Ada made rather an unusual marriage, didn't she?”" “Quite. She married the man she was in love with.” ‘THE QUESTION USELESS. $+ BEGOBS 1" observed Cassidy, Ryan is makin’ these days. "2" asked Corrigan. th’ foine shtacks av wages thot for ava bank by day an‘ noightwatchman av a risidince by noight. “But phin does he shlape “Ain't Oi jist afther sayin’ thot he’s a noightwatchman ? 2 ORE litte head on a pillow of snow, Four little stockings nta Claus tearing his hair— lin a row ; One puzzled Is it a quadruped that's sleeping there ? CONVERSATIONS EN ROUTE. Tinep THourson—" Wuz yer ever before a judge?" Frozen Stirre—' | wuz.” Tired THompson—"* Wot did yet git?” Frozen Srirre—"* Life at hard labor. I wuz married by a Judge comicbooks.com