Judge — December 16, 1905 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Macenas is enfertaining Horace, our popu- lar poet, this wk. News are few this wk. rranxux ». ADAMS TOBACCO. Nora.—Americans annually spend $00,000,000 on tobacco. VILE weed— the upas plant that burns Upon the nation’s altars—in its urns, Whose wide-spread smoke of sacrifice Ascends to smut the gates of Paradise ; Whose odor, like a fetid fancy, fills The atmosphere with strange, mephitic ills ; Whose yellow juice runs down in streams ‘Transforming into nightmares golden dreams, Whose clutch upon the human taste Remains unbroken, undisplaced ; Whose dire effects on body, soul and mind Make wrecks of man- and woman-kind— Vile weed, you ain't so goldarned bad after all, Are you? Ww. J. LaMTon, IN STYLE. «YES, my dear,” said the fond husband, « they are—er—um—well, they are good cigars of their kind, but they—— You see" “Now, dovey,” said the gentle wife, “I know you can’t find a more fashionable cigar A than that, It is the very latest tint of brown. Fairy copuorner—‘ Cinderella, | can't give you an auto unless | have something to work Penn the cj ars ‘on. You remember before I had to have mice so I could change them into horses.” matched the cigars very carefully with a piece | Cinpenriia "Why, you dear old godmother, I know all that Whatdo yousuppose I've of the goods of my new dress, and Iam sure got that huge kettle in the fireplace for? I have been bolling rubber and gasoline, and any- it i So ; , body who could take six mice and a pumpkin and turn out a coach and six ought to be able it is the precise shade that is most popular this CINDERELLA DOWN TO DATE. to get an auto out of a smell like that.” winter.” VILLAGE GOSSIP. SHE COULDN'T UNDERSTAND. (From the Reme (Italy) Tribune.) E was describing the game. | NOW is the time to pay that subscription before we print names, “T thought I had a clear field,” he said, “ when suddenly he | boys. tackled me. Calpurnia, the wife of our prominent townsman, J. Cxsar, has a swell new dress, the gift of her husband. M.T. Cicero, the well-known lecturer, will give an_ illus- trated talk at the opera-house this eve. Tickets at Nux Vom- ica’s drug-store. ,*, tf. Looks like we might hav. an carly winter. Brutus is on the aiting-list. Cassius left two good sester- “What do you mean by that ?" she asked. “Why, in this case he caught me around the waist with both arms and I couldn't make him let go.” “But, why," she inquired with a sigh, under those circumstances, did you want to make him let go?" Then she added, after a pause, * You men are queer creatures.” tia on ye editor's desk yesterday, HIS REASON. for 6 mos. subscription to The The ufper, Tribune, He is o.k. Come (breathlessly) — + Dear, I've a again, Cash! piece of news for you. ‘The flute- The senate will discuss the EXTRAVAGANCE IN BUGTOWN. player across the hall is dead !” merchant marine & other affairs By Jove! 'm glad I'm not married. Her husband has to The upper-flatter (plead- next wie buy her a handsome caterpillar boa every year.”” ingly)—“ Please don’t make. me Horace, our popular poet, is laugh—my lips are so chapped.” paying attention to some young lady. Who is she, Holly ? Saturday's rain in Sicily done considerable good there, the farm FINNIGAN FILOSOFIZES, ers tell us. Ur wup be a murrier Christmus if more av us mint ut. HANDICAPPED FROM THE START. First werchant—' He t'inks he ain't good enough for her.” Seconp merchant—"" Does, eh? Hully gee—den he's licked already.”