Judge, 1905-12-16 · page 20 of 48
Judge — December 16, 1905 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct humor pieces typical of early 20th-century American magazine satire: **"Kitty's Cooking"** mocks a wife's incompetence in the kitchen through verse. The joke follows a husband's evening as his wife burns multiple dishes—meat, pie, beans—yet he still complains about the final meal. The punchline: rather than eat her cooking, they go out for dinner. This reflects period stereotypes about women's domestic duties and capability. **"Vain Man!"** satirizes romantic pride and miscommunication between an engaged couple after a quarrel. He believes her calm demeanor and question about "who called" indicates she's softening toward him, but she's simply doing her job answering the door. The humor lies in his self-deceptive vanity. **The shorter comic strips** use wordplay and childhood observations: Willie claims he ran faster than sound travels (exaggeration humor), and a boy admits his cold wasn't bad because it got him out of school while his mother shopped. All reflect genteel, domestic-focused humor typical of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
KITTY’S COOKING. ITTY’S preparing our evening meal, I know, for the chimney is smoking ; Kitty is busy—too busy, I feel, To stand any kidding or joking. Kitty can't be on the side-porch to greet Her husband, who's hurrying fast down the street, For Kitty is busy . . . She's burning the meat! T hear her now, coughing and choking. Kitty's now shaving the singed apple pie (I hear the knife scrape ere I see her), Kitty is letting the beans scorch—oh, my ! Not for the world would I be her! Kitty's blue eyes are wet with salt tears. Crying about it? Nay, banish your fears, It's only peeled onions, not grief, it appears. (For giving me them T must fee her!) Kitty has finished our evening meal, And yet, Lam such a mean sinner, That when it is served I really don't feel As if I could call it a winner. She looks at me, frowns—throws her apron away, Picks up her hat, and together we stray Down the street to a nice, quiet little café And purchase a ready-made dinner! JACK APrUETOR, VAIN MAN! THEY were very, very fond of each other. So tond ! They were almost inseparable, for they were engaged—she the clinging, soulful creature; he the masterful, protecting one. Then, ah, me! a lovers’ tiff; a quarrel! They parted in anger. They were too proud to make it up. Two whole days passed by. Then he remembered that he had important business with her father. At his house. He rang the bell, It was answered, How he started! She had answered the bell. “Ah!” and his speech was haughty. “Is your father in ?" “No, sir,” and she was calm. “ He is not in at present, sir. you wish to see him personally ?” “She is yielding!" was his thought. «Sne yearns for forgiveness !" Did A PRECAUT.ONARY MEASURE. Then bluffly to her, and short. Yes. Personally. On business. He turned to go. “She is touched! Her vain pride is breaking down!" he mur- mured, hugging the thought to himself. He went slowly down the steps. She spoke. “ Pardon me,” said she, ** but "—— Was there a quaver in her voice ? He stopped. He half turned to meet her and forgive. Pardon me," said she, “but who shall [ tell him it was that called ?” Good-evening !" > morr. w) Mother—" Willie, didn't you hear me call you to come into the house when you were running after that fire-engine ?” Willie— N-no, mamma. Iguess | was running faster than the sound traveled !"* NOT SO BAD. hear you had a pretty bad cold."” Huh! wasn t so bad. It kept me out of school two weeks while mom was gittin’ ther Christmas things ready.”” comicbooks.com