Judge, 1905-11-04 · page 7 of 16
Judge — November 4, 1905 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The top cartoon titled "INDUCEMENTS LACKING" employs racist caricature (with offensive period dialect) to satirize Southern hypocrisy—a Black minister questions a white man's failure to practice what he preaches. The "DIARY OF A C-I-A-O UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR" is satirical commentary on academic careerism. It mocks a professor who manufactures outrageous, unsupported claims (men will become birds, blonde women should disappear, the Declaration of Independence's real date) purely for publicity and self-promotion, explicitly following P.T. Barnum's philosophy about entertaining crowds. His scheme succeeds—he gets promoted and a salary raise. The satire targets intellectual dishonesty and the pressure professors face to gain attention through sensationalism rather than legitimate research. "THE OBVIOUS" cartoon features crude dialect humor about digging the Panama Canal. The poem "ENVIRONMENT" emphasizes environmental determinism in moral behavior—a fashionable Progressive-era idea that circumstances, not individual character, determine whether someone is "good" or "bad."
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
INDUCEMENTS LACKING. DeAcon Mosssunxer —"* Why don’t yo" vote as yo" pray, nigger?" Bromuer Persimmons FROM THE DIARY OF A C—I—A—O UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR. GFPTEMBER 13th.—Here I have been in the university for six years and haven't had a raise in salary. Evidently the Board of Curators do not think much of me. I must stir myself or they will replace me by a newer man. I wonder what I can do to make the curators recognize me? To get a higher degree, write a text-book, or go on the lecture-platform is too old and overworked. But I must do something. This is not a matter of false modesty ; this is a matter of business. September 21st.—I have it now! It is so simple, so beautiful, so certain! Give them some startling views and opinions. No work to get them up, no investigation—no research. I can get up a startler every morning coming down on the car. Eureka! September 22d.—I told my class this morning that man will be superseded by birds by the year 2905. September 23d.—I see that each of the morning papers has a column about my theory that man, if he keeps on at the present rate, will soon be a bird. All take it seriously. Good joke. I see fame approaching. September joth.—I told my class something this morning that will set the women going. If I can once get the women started I need not worry about my salary or losing my place. Incidentally, I mentioned to the class that blondes must disappear from the face of the earth. I saw that all the stu- dent reporters were eying each other to see who were taking notes. October 2d.— Last startler took. I see that women are forming ‘Blondes- forever Clubs.” I told the class to-day that the Declaration of In- dependence was not signed on July 4th, but on August 18th. This will give the ed- itorial men and mag- azine writers some- thing to think about. October 22d.— What a field has opened up tome! I now have more subjects than I know what to do with. But I must use tact and not overcrowd or weary the market. I think that I am winning out over the other professors, as most of them are afraid to apply for an increase in salary. That hobby-theory of mine is a grand success. Give them bigger and newer startlers.P. T. Barnum said that the people liked to be fooled and humbugged. And, by the way, I believe I can get up something about Barnum being a bigger man than Milton. October 31st.—I knew it would come! Received word to-day THE OBVIOUS. “Say, Bub, what you going to do with that gun?" + Mebbe I'm goin’ ter dig de Panama Canal an’ mebbe I'm Jest goin’ gunnin’. “* Wa-al, | would ef de good Lawd would on'y send round a hack fo’ me an’ a-two-dollah bill, like de politicians does from the Board of Curators that I have been made assistant professor, and that my salary has been raised $800. Well, the way I am adver- tising this information-factory, it's worth double that. omar cxov. ENVIRONMENT. HEN a fellow makes an effort to be good, And the people all about hhim think he should Be another kind of chap, Don't you know it is no snap To be good? ‘When a fellow makes an effort to be bad, And the people all about him think he had Better be a diffrent chap, Don’t you know it is no snap To be bad? So be gentle with him—easy, don't you know ; Perhaps he’s gone the way he had to go. If he’s good or if he's bad, ‘The environment he had Made him so. WILLtant J, LAMTON. GOOD FOR A YEAR MORE. 44 JAMES," began the principal when that arch mis- chief-maker of the high school entered his office in obedience to his request, «1 hear too much re- garding your class behavior. Miss Shaw says she finds it nec- essary to reprove you during the history period ; the supervi- sor of music com- plains of your will- fully poor singing ; Mr. Cowles tells me your attention is usu- ally wandering from class experiments to unscientific demon- strations of your own, Now, James, how long must this lectur- ing from your differ- ent teachers continue?" asked the principal severely. “I don't know,” replied the truthful James; ‘but I suppose [ have a season ticket. See?" THE PATTERN EGG, ‘ ‘SFE what I got!" cried Bobby, a city-bred boy, as he came run- ning from a chicken-coop, holding in his hand a china egg. “Oh, go put it back!" exclaimed Mabel, his six-year-old sister, «That's the egg the hen measures by.” comicbooks.com