Judge — November 4, 1905 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TURRICK AND HIS COW. is believed that Turrick and Pinhook, November 1st. z his cow would have gone on HENRY TURRICK, a farm. ‘ sy teetering between the bottom er whose land adjoins the H of the well and the top of the town of Pinhook, was the vic- 4 tree for days, and must inevi- tim of a most distressing and eS “ ) E = tably have suffered greatly painful chain of accidents yes- % 5 from the uncertainty and strain terday. He was alone on his meat ‘ of the incident. tr sorve tyre. farm when he discovered that 3 # one of his cows had fallen into an : ON THE READING-TABLE. a shallow well near the barn, Rye HERE'S 8 lt of Heft tints He hastily fastened a pulley to . "ie > In the many monthly prints : the branches of a tree close to } <= . 1 How to Decorate the Hall, the well, strung a strong rope Zo K % basil 7 How to Decorate the Wall, through it, hitched a team of , ‘as jyingis $ 5 How to Decorate the Den, horses to one end, and, taking j . Q Ps ae to oe Bat then the lifting-rope in his hands, : Not a one has jotted: down descended into the well and {9 : : Hanis Decente ie Towa! tied it about the horns of the gen ta ‘ ri cow. Just at that moment 4 SS A STRIKE. something startled the horses, EMR : . j First citisen—“ The Bak- and they ran out with the rope 4 3 SS é ers’ Union has declared war as far as they could go, draw- : on old Schneider.” ing the muddy and dripping 4 es x Second citizen —“ What cow out of the well and clear for? He pays his men good up to the branches of the tree. ~ ; wages, doesn’t he ?” Turrick’s legs got tangled in < eon . , First citizen—“ Better the rope, and he went aloft with the cow. He hung there a moment, shouting to the horses to “back,” and then the rope untwisted and freed him, and he fell back into the well again. Before he could recover himself and get out the horses, slowly obeying his : eee et previous commands, backed 7 2 .: YE RUM-SELLER’S 5 : RETORT. up to the tree and lowered the cow into the well again on top H, Jon D. never tasted rum? of her master. The cow struck Wel, vhatalthat? Tween the water, kicking with all her In all my life I've never yet might, and made so much Tasted kerosene. noise that the frightened horses 3 ran si again tobe end ibe Bes } gg WRITING FOR CASH. rope, drawing the cow out o ‘ i the well the second time. ‘This ni me S*YVHAT are money-or- i je secon Ye} x ders, pa?” time Turrick seized the cow RNG ‘ by the tail and went up with : 2 : Your mother's letters to her. Turrick had just. pres- : me when she is on a vacation. ence of mind enough left to ' : : swing to and fro as hard as he & AT TOTHER END. could, shouting to the horses 4 : Bee ale SOT HE cat-boat differs from to “git epp" as he did so, and — the animal on land.” trying to give his body a mo- HIS NERVE. “How?” tion that would throw it be- Per Gan ideet keoes Many a mee gets married because he hasn't the “Her yawl is generally yond the well when he let go nerve to back out.” found aft instead of forward.” of the cow's tail; but he mis- calculated the force, and as soon as he let go fell with a splash into NEVER ENTERED HIS HEAD BEFORE. the muddy water again, The horses, tired with the strain of a con- Sunday-school teacher—« And now, Ralph, what do you suppose tinuous pull, and missing the inspiration of his voice, backed up again _ were the feelings of Goliath when David felled him with a stone?” and corked him once more in the well with the cow. Ralph—«1 guess he was surprised.” At this point his little ‘dog, seeing his master disappear in the Sunday-school teacher—** Why surprised ?" well, came up and ran round and round the top, barking, which so Ralph— Because such a thing had never entered his head before.” frightened the team that they ran away, pulling the cow the third QUERY. time up to the branches, with Turrick once more clinging to her tail. [FHE of Tams, once the tainted Sa This time, however, the horses came out to the end of the rope with Could in u trice be changed to sainted Paul, such a jerk that the branch was broken off and cow and man dropped Why should we deem that mission effort rash down within a yard of the well. But for the breaking of the limb it That turns a tainted cheque to sainted cash? than most; but it seems he undertook to abolish the hole in the doughnut, saying it was unnecessary. Now they refuse to let any one work for or pat- ronize him until he signs an agreement to let the hole in the doughnut alone.” AN EVOLUTION OF THE SEASON. comicbooks.com