Judge — October 28, 1905 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JOB HILL MAN ON ALIMONY. GENTLEMAN writes to ask us to use our influence against the tendency to award exorbitant alimony. He says the industry is feeling the bad effects of the practice, and if something is not done the well-to-do will place their capital in other investments. We have noted the tendency the gentleman complains, of, and will do what we can to combat it. Alimony is like a tariff—in order to get anything out of it the rate must not be prohibitive. A man who is supporting one or two wives and paying alimony to two or three + once-wasers " is bound to grow restive if the punishment is piled on too thick, as it were. The women ought to use judg- ment in the matter. They should get together and estimate just about what their joint ex-spouse can do in the aggregate and keep it up, and then apportion it out between them—that’s the way to do it. But when each sails in to swipe the whole swag, as you might say, any ex-wife ought to see that she is hitting at the goose that rte Jou iLL, MAX. lays the golden egg. HARD LINES. A WAITER. Hitte—* Do you write for cash now ? Now that we are engaged. | am waiting to take you In my arms." é now?" Coyonerpenme Oring ix tesaer” m Witte—» No; payment on publication is the best I can get.” WHAT HE Is. First speculator— What are you in the street—a bull or a FROM THE CORRESPONDENT IN PINHOOK. Pinhook, October 25, 1905. FRANK B. EVERETT of this vicinity has had a great deal of pecul- bear?" iar trouble with his cow lately. She was a very valuable cow for Second speculator—« Neither ; I'm an ass.” her milk-giving qualities, and he was anxious to take the best care of her. Last winter, one very cold day, the end of her tail froze into a pail of water near which she was standing, and when she tried to move away she broke about a third of her tail off. In fly season, this year, the flies were very bad, and when she whipped at them with her stub of a tail its length was such that she contin- ually drummed Mr. Everett over the head with it when he was milking. At first he protected himself by wearing a football helmet and a baseball mask while milking, but these articles were too hot and uncomfortable for the heated term, and he tried to remedy the dif- ficulty by fastening a horse-tail on the cow's stub, This worked well for a while, but the cords that the switch was tied on with kept getting loose, and every now and then she would fling the switch over into the field. Mr. Everett, with the spirit of invention strong upon him, had a veterinary surgeon pierce two holes through the cow's tail and set in silver eyelets, through which the binding- cords could be run. After that the cords held, and ihe borrowed hair-switch drove away the annoying flies, and everything had just reached a perfect condition when the cow the other day suddenly up and died. Mr. Everett is quite inconsolable, and thinks it hard that fate should so relentlessly pursue him. te sure yee. A CHANGE OF MIND. AID a simple young man from Lascelle, “Tt is easy to run a hotel." But in three months or less He was forced to confess That being a landlord was—not at all what he thought it would be. w.y.u. ‘TIMID. Mr, Devoe— Why don't you wear that dress to the party ?"” Mrs, Devoe—* I'd be ashamed to be seen in it.” Then she put ona sleeveless affair cut four inches lower in the neck and went. GENIUS FOR FINANCE, #4S0 YOU consider Stratton a financial genius ?” «Yes, sir.” Farmer Mepoers—''So you stopped over one train in N' York. Is thar +* What has he ever done to give that idea?” much ter see thar ?"" Farmer Greene—"'/s thar much ter see? Well, say! | wandered around “Ran a country newspaper four years and was out of debt thar fer over an hour an’ | didn’ see over half thar wuz ter see at that—not over when he quit.” half, Silas.” comicbooks.com.