Judge, 1905-10-28 · page 10 of 16
Judge — October 28, 1905 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor: **Top cartoon** ("His Lunacy Under Good Control"): A domestic joke where a husband reassures his wife that if she died, he'd go "almost crazy"—but insists he wouldn't be crazy *enough* to remarry. The satire targets male attitudes toward remarriage and wealth. **"Tom Reed on His Ancestors"**: Anecdote about Speaker Thomas B. Reed (prominent 1890s politician) meeting a genealogy-obsessed relative. Reed humorously admits he stopped tracing his ancestry after confirming no ancestors were hanged for murder or exiled for horse-stealing—satirizing both obsessive genealogy-tracking and frontier-era lawlessness. **"Anxious" & "Bobby Up to Date"**: Brief jokes about a boy wanting the minister to leave (to earn a quarter for good behavior) and journalistic sensationalism. **"Not Yet"**: Verse mocking sentimental romance spending—candy mottos, Christmas cards, valentines—suggesting the speaker has wasted money on romantic gestures without reciprocation. The overall tone is light social satire targeting vanity, materialism, and human folly rather than serious political critique.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HIS LUNACY UNDER GOOD CONTROL. ‘Sue—"" Suppose I were to die, what would you do?" He—"'1 should be almost crazy.”” * Would you marry again?" Well, I would hardly be as crazy as that.” TOM REED ON HIS ANCESTORS. ATE in the memorable campaign of 1890, in response to Congress-- man D, B. Henderson's urgent call for help, Thomas B, Reed; then speaker of the house, went west to address a mass-meeting in Waterloo, Iowa, the political centre of Colonel Henderson's district. On the way from Cedar Rapids to Waterloo an elderly gentleman named Reed boarded the special car in which the genial +» Tom" was smoking and entertaining his friends, and on being presented said, “Mr. Reed, I had thought to write you; but learning you were coming into Iowa, I waited your coming, feeling sure I could learn more in a brief interview than I could from an extended correspond- ence with you, I have thus far failed to find in any of the numerous sketches of your life any mention of your ancestry back of your father, Thomas Brackett Reed, Sr. Will you kindly give me the name of your grandfather on your father’s side?” Mr. Reed promptly responded. «And your great-grandfather ?” was the next inquiry. Here the speaker gave his new- found relative a broad smile, and twisting his mouth to one side, as was his wont, he said, “Tl have to admit I don't know. The fact is, Mr. Reed, I re- tired from the field of genealogical research quite early in life. After satisfying myself that no one of my immediate ancestors had been hung for murder or been run out of the country for horse-stealing, / thought it safest not to pursue the subject further f° Jomyson BRIGHAM. ANXIOUS. 66] HOPE you are not going to stay long,” said the nice little boy to the minister, who was visiting at their house. ‘Why, what's the matter, Bobbie? Don’t you like me ?” asked the minister. “Yes, I like you all right; but I'm goin’ to get a quarter if I'm good all the while you're here.” FRITTERING HIS TIME AWAY. BOBBY UP TO DATE, Q WAD some power the gift gie us To guy ourselves as others guy us! JOURNALISTIC FEAT. «SOU seem happy over something,” we say to the editor of the Blinktown Journal. ‘Got a right to be,” he responds, beaming with joy. one of the biggest scoops in the history of Blinktown journalism this week," + That's good."+ «It’s better than good. I printed the announcement of the engage- ment of the preacher to the soprano of the choir before the members of the sewing-club even suspected that they were going together.” “T scored NOT YET. [ HAVE bought of the candy mottoes, With their flirtings in scarlet print ; With their “I'll be true” and their “I love you" On a heart of peppermint. T have squandered a modest fortune Qn Christmas-cards with frost ; ‘And on New Year's day I have sent away “« Best wishes,” sans reck of cost. In the days of a youth sentimental T have purchased a lot of lace And some silly lines in the valentines To Ethel and Maude and Grace. By a host of ++ remembrance” fakirs T’ve been hit in my life full hard— But I've never spent a single cent TRANKLIN F. ADAMS. WANTS SOMETHING SELF-EVIDENT. Benham—* An axiom is a self-evident truth.” Mrs. Benham—‘1 wish you would tell an axiom some night when you come in late.”” comicbooks.com