Judge — October 7, 1905 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HOW THE Grocer—*: Here he comes, con- sarn him!" Jorr—" Smells fust rate QUEEN ISABELLA’S REVENGE; OR, THE TRUE AND AUTHENTIC ACCOUNT OF HOW AMERICA CAME. TO BE DISCOVERED. THE queen wept copiously, but King Ferdinand remained obdu- rate. + We can’t afford it, Belle,” he reiterated. + You must make the old hat do another season, With a new aigrette or a bunch of flowers it will serve nicely. You were deft enough at such expedients when I married you." Then, as the queen continued sobbing, he spoke more sternly. **Cut it out!" he commanded. ‘+ Were your tears veritably the pearls to which“Ftikened them in the days of our courtship, enough had been shed ere now to pay our every debt, with something left over for your millinery. But, alas! they are as worth- less as my i. 0. u.'s. But come; dry your eyes. The door-bell has been ringing this past five minutes. Run and admit our visitor.” A moment later, when the queen returned, followed , by Chris- topher Columbus, there needed no keen observer to note signs of the storm that raged with unabated fury“in héF heart. But Kit paid small heed to them. Far weightier matters than a domestic quarrel claimed his immediate attention. This was the night when Ferdinand had promised to render his final decision on the scheme for the discovery of America, and Kit hoped for.a favorable reply. Meanwhile the queen retired to the kitchen, where she pretended to busy herself with the tea-dishes ; but her ear was never far from the keyhole, and she heard every word of the king's curt refusal to participate in the expedition. Her heart was exceedingly bitter against her lord and master, but anon she smiled craftily as she be- thought her how she might be revenged. Perceiving that the king was about to depart for his club, she softly opened the door a crack and made a secret signal to Columbus to meet her in the kitchen-garden, There, when they were alone together, +1 . don't believe in your A LONG JoB ‘Tue cinarre—"‘ Say, doc, | have a fish-bone stuck in my throat which | want you to remove.” Joes (rubbing his neck) —" | never see a grocer yit thet hed enny Chris~ tian charity." Grocer—" Smells fust rate, does it? Well, smell of it an‘ giti"’ any more than the king does, Kit,” she said; ++in fact, riot so much, for he wanted to go in with you at first, but I dissuaded him. But Ferdy has been very nasty to me to-night. He refused to buy mea new hat, and, when I cried, taunted me with the time when he used to call my tears his pearls. Well, pearls it shall be! Here, take my wedding-jewels and fit out your expedition in search of heaven knows GENEALOGY. Mr. Buzzwinc—" Young Firefly traces his ancestors back to the days of Noah." Mr. Humprum—"* Ah, | see—a bunch of arc-lights."* what! Only sail in the king’s name. Take good care it is noised abroad that he is your backer. So, when your mad scheme fails—as fail it assuredly will—men shall point the finger of scorn at my royal husband, and Ferdinand shall become a laughing-stock throughout all Christendom! Nay; hold thy peace and go quickly. On thee it is the queen's command, but on him a woman’s vengeance !” Then, although his conscience smote him sorely, Christopher Columbus took the gems and departed in haste, for he needed the money. Tom wooonues, SIGNS OF AUTUMN. HE. bees have forsaken the clover, The birds are more seldom in se So we now know that summer is over— It did not last long. Hotels all close up in short order, While winds through deserted rowms roam + The hoat carries off the last boarder— All chilled to the bone. No more ice-cream soda we go for ; Even fruit does not tempting appear ; ‘So we know now that summer is over— And OYSTERS are here. an THE FLAT AND THE TENEMENT DEFINED. Lady— What is the real difference between an apartment, a flat and a tenement-house 2” Janitor— In an apartment the ladies don't have no children ; in a flat they has one or two. More than two makes any house a tenes ment, mum.” comicbooks.com