Judge — September 16, 1905 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A NORTH HILL EPISODE. NORTH HILL servant-girl, in an ab- stracted mood, filled the sugar-bowl with salt yesterday morning, and in about ten minutes every last member of her family was praying and crying and drinking warm water and mustard, and trying to remember consoling frag- ments of scripture, while one of the neighbors was tearing down town a thousand miles a minute after a doctor, and another had sailed away after a policeman, and a third had locked the weeping, terrified and mystified hired- girl in the pantry and was keeping watch and ward over her until the policeman came. Shortly the doctor came with his stomach- pump and things, and bailed two of the family out before he examined the coffee. And when he had tasted it he smiled and thrust his fingers into the sugar-bowl ; and when he had tasted of the salt which was therein he lifted up his voice and laughed them to scorn, and mocked at their misery and said, «Ha! ha!" and went his way, both he and the policeman. , But the hireti-girl was wroth and would not be comforted, and she gat up and fied, nor doth any man know where are the silver spoons, the new table-cloth, the master’s sleeve-buttons, nor the two dozen handkerchiefs. sath aes! TO HAVE AND TO HOLD. SHE lays aside her parasol, Her bathing-suit is placed away; And to the city’s busy life ‘The summer girl returns from play. She carries many broken hearts. Her love is cold ; her fancy free. She's been engaged five times or more And twice she was betrothed tome. She still retains my aching heart (Ah, wicked is Dan Cupid’s sting), Likewise she also still retains ‘A ten.weeks’ salary diamond ring. PRERINE LAMBEET, A CASE IN POINT. Hewitt— Misfortunes never come singly.” Jewett" 1 know it; yester- day I received two wedding invitations by the same mail." A NEW ALPHABET. Mother (who is teaching her child the alphabet)—* Now, dearie, what comes after g?” The child— Whizz \" A THREAT. Aunt 'Manoy—“‘See here, John Henry! ef yew don't cor ft that thar winder I'll take an‘ divorce yew on statuary grounds.” BS ~ Sisss “4, WHAT HE KNOWS. Bit Briwe—"'Say, this chicken wants to be a sailor. D'ye reckon te knows labbourd and susbhoard?* ‘Tou TARPAULIN: Not he. Cupboard Is all he knows."* AT CROSS PURPOSES. First pickpocket (hoarsely)—*+ Here he comes now !"" Second pickpocket—* All right. You keep a watch on ‘im while I take a watch offen ‘im !'? WHEELS. First tramp— Say, Bill, wot's ‘de wheels of industry *?” Second tramp— Dat's easy. Anybody dat's industrious has got ‘wheels "what 2” Mrs, Enpec—Who said you were?” Enpec— You seem to think IT can take about two hundred words a minute.” A HOODOO. $4 D0 YOU think he'll win?” “No!” “Then why are you laying a bet on him?” «Because if I thought he'd win he wouldn’ BEAUTY HINT. E.eruant—"* What's good for a chapped skin?" Monx—" Why don't you try a few barrels of cold cream? A BRIDLE BIT. A LOIN of mutton was on the table and a gentleman oppo- site took the carving-knife in hand. ‘*Shall I cut it saddle-wise ?” said he. ‘You had better cut it bridle-wise,” said his friend, ‘for then we shall stand a better chance of getting a bit in our mouths.” ‘THE DEVELOPMENT OF OLIVER. ARK, leaden clouds hovered ominously overhead as Oliver Comer tripped blithely down the busy thoroughfare, ready to begin an- other day of toil. To the country-bred youth, just embarking upon an urban career, the city with its bustle and business-like ways was all strange and wonderful, but he had entered upon the new life with a spirit and enthusiasm that augured well for his speedy adaptation to his present environments. A sudden puff of wind set a little cloud of dust in the street awhirl and a few large drops pattered spitefully upon the sidewalk at his feet. “Verily,” said Oliver, ‘this portendeth rain,” And he raised an umbrella. . . . . . . * . Five years had passed. Oliver Comer, no longer a callow, country youth, stood in the doorway of a substantial office-building, looking out upon the street. It was evident that he had prospered since his transplantation from his native soil, and his sleek, well-groomed appearance and easy bearing indicated that he had + caught on” to city manners and customs most decidedly. Dark clouds overhung the scene, and as he was about to pass out, a few scattering raindrops, forerunners of the impending storm, commenced falling. «Well, this looks like rain, sure,” observed Oliver. And he lifted an umbrella. comicbooks.com