Judge — September 16, 1905 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ctaupe—"* Good-morning, Cholly ; I guess we can pass on the plank.” Crotty—"* Well, so long. ""—— HONESTY. ONAS WARE, honest man, and owner of the Jolly Tar, a merchant ves- sel, was worried. For three days he had not heard of the ves- sel and for the first time in his life he thought of insuring the bark. He juggled the question over and then went to see the agent of a big marine- insurance company. “1 desire,” he said to the agent, **to place some insurance on my ship, the Jolly Tar, but the circum. stances are somewhat — Ugh! Ugh! —1—! Cnotty— Good-morning, Claude; sorry to have delayed you.” THE SPINDLE-SHANK DUDES TRY TO WALK A PLANK. A CITY BOARDER who spent a few weeks ona New Eng- land farm early in the summer says that he one day rode down to the village with his landlord, who, he had already discov- ered, had the New England instinct of thrift to an almost alarming degree. While they were in the village “general "together the boarder noticed a soda-fountain at one end of the store, and pointing to it said to his host, store “Supposing we try a glass of that drink ?” You goin’ to pay for it?” asked the wary farmer. “Certainly Iam.” « How much will it be 2?” unusual, I have not heard from the ship for some time, though I should have received a report from her captain four days ago. Will you place insurance under those conditions ?” The agent replied that if Mr. Ware would leave his application and cheque for the first premium he would look into the matter. Jonas Ware agreed and went back to his office. The agent wrote to the company, sent them the application and awaited orders. The next day Jonas Ware walked into the agent's office and told the agent that he would like to withdraw the application, as he had received word from the captain of the Jolly Tar. The agent said he would write to the company about it, The company wrote back that as it was very probable that Mr. Ware heard that the Jolly Tar was safe and desired to avoid paying the pre- mium, they had accepted his applica- tion and the Jolly Tar stood insured against loss to the amount of $50,000. The following day Jonas Ware walked into the agent's office and casually remarked that “honesty was the best policy.” “For,” he concluded, « the day after I filed my application I received word that the Jolly Tar had been wrecked on the coast of Bermuda. Kindly mail me a cheque.” THE CITY’S NOISE, LE roar of the city Unceasingly beats Itself in’o fragments Of noise on the streets, Which gather themselves All together, and then The unified fragments Become roar again. playthings WHLLIAM J. LastrTON, “Naw! He needed a lickin’; an’ dese is de indemnity \"" ++ Five cents, I suppose.” + Wa-al, say, if it's all the same to you I'll take fi’ cents wuth o° ten-penny nails. I'm needin’ some the worst way.” AN OUTING IN THE FALL, Ella— Fred and I are to have a fall outing.” Stella— You mean a falling ont, don’t you?” Ella—* Not necessarily ; we are to be married in October and INDEMNITY. “Aren't you ashamed to beat that little boy and take away his are going on our wedding trip.” FATE. AN ACTOR great he wished to be, As great as any ever heard ; He started out in tragedy— Othello, Hamlet, Richard Third. But working unsuccessfully, He thought another path he'd strike ; And so he went to comedy— Young Marlow, Rover, and the like. In comedy he weakened fast, And no one’s praise could he command ; He knew not what to do. At last He thought at farce he'd try his hand. He saw his star of fortune sink, ‘And looking backward sorrowfully, He heaved a sigh and cried, “I think I'm meant for shifting scenery.” ENVoY. Fate has an eye on you and me, And maps out plans for us at birth. ‘Tis really not so bad to be ‘The best scene-shifter on the earth ! NATHAN A LEVY. comicbooks.com