Judge — September 16, 1905 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

—— i —=f-A Cay IS we PUBLISHED WEEKLY Az rue Pamxxn Boriprnc, FourTm AVENUE ap Niwereexru Sraxer, New Youx. Wastaxn Apverrisinc Orrice—1313 Hartford Building, Chicago, lt unrreo One copy, one year, or so ‘copy, six months, or thirteen One ‘Ove copy, raves numbers = ‘numbers - the Cumisratas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $4.50. year. Evnorean sates-acewrs—International News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, EC, London: Brentans's, Avenue de !" Opera, Paris ; Saarbach's News Exchange, 3 The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this comyright wll be promptly and rigorously prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS mast inciose a stamped and self-addressed erfreiope with all manuscripts, othefivise retum of the Latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contribations sent to the Art Department should have the sender's full name and address “written plainly on each and every separate shetch. inctosure descriptive letter-press should in ébery instance be written upon tts indrotdual picture, and NOT upon insure safe and prompt retarn of material not accepted. SUMMER AMUSEMENTS OF SOVEREIGNS. I" HAS been a strenuous summer for the rulers of nations and to the pop- ular imagination it must seem that royalty has suffered an awful bur den of anxiety and foreboding. If we are to believe the dispatches, how- ever, the overlords of the several kingdoms of the earth have passed through the ordeal with composure. While the delicate problem of a Russo-Jap peace hung in the balance at Portsmouth and the diplomacy of every court felt the nerve-racking tension, their majesties went their way almost re- Joicing, like millions of other care-free va- cationers. A London personal says King Edward has been seized by the craze for gar- dening. The king has always worn flowers in his button-hole but never before tried to grow them. Yellow crocuses are his choice, and to have a large bed completely filled with them has been his first ambition this summer. To see the king pottering about in his Buck- ingham palace garden, rolling out the hose- reel at evening or tipping the watering-pot over his crocuses, and grub- bing round with a hoe of mornings, is to be persuaded that royalty has learned to bear its burdens cheerfully. The kaiser has passed the summer almost merrily, and even when his journeyings were regarded as most men- acing to the world peace, as when he met the czar, to all outward seeming he was just having a rollicking outing. The czar is reported to have had an ideal summer, playing tennis, riding, romping about the lawns with his children, and always in the gayest humor. Coming to this side of the water, our own Teddy would seem to have had a terrible weight of responsibility upon his shoulders, but side by side with the spread-heads telling of his exploits in the interest of peace were stories of his outings with his boys, visits to Chautauquas, descent in a submarine and gallops across country in true rough-rider exhilaration of spirits. On the whole these sovereigns of the battle-front have been trying to get a little fun out of life the same as the rest of us. HINKY DINK’S STURDY AMERICANISM. TER a tour of the principal transatlantic countries, the onorable Hinky Dink, otherwise Alderman Michael Kenna of Chicago, declares AF Europe is ‘on the blink.” Time was when Americans returning trom abroad recited with exultant voice the blessings of the country of freedom in contrast to the dwindling glories of the old world. These earlier Ameri- cans viewed Europeas an interesting *‘ ruins” ivied over with a sentimental renown. Later, however, the tone of blustering disapproval changed, and now our rich girls go over there for husbands and settle down on, English estates, and our travelers look with envious and admiring eyes upon every- thing foreign. If for nothing more than its novelty and a flavor of the old-time provin- cialism, the testimony of Hinky Dink is welcome. “ The Europeans are a bunch of has-beens,” he says. ‘They are busy looking backward. They can’t keep our pace at any stage of the game.” The kaiser’s burg, Berlin, made a hit with the Chicago alderman and he speaks in a com- plimentary way of its low, uniform sky-line, but Paris he saw from “a to z and didn’t Tun across anything new.” His tone is almost applausive, however, when he says of the gay city, “Taint half so bad as it’s cracked up to be. Everything is done so open and above-board that it seems respectable. I haven’t seen a single drunk since I’ve been in Europe. That’s because Europe is a wide-open propasition without any modern inventions like midnight-closing laws, screens and side doors.” On the whole Hinky sees through American eyes and we are glad that after the sights of the effete monarchies, Amer- ica “looks good "’ to him and “has the rest of the bunch beat to a frazzle.”” The accompanying tobe oF a separate slip of paper. of stamps to the full amount of postage (s also required. to PONDER that peace treaty carefully and it will dawn upon you that the Japs turned a pretty neat trick at Portsmouth after all. ows HE Lock Haven cat club is a new organization soliciting the attention and patronage of the public. It is composed entirely of women. VEGETABLE juice is getting the headline notices now as the most promising cure. By this is not meant corn-juice alone, but all sorts of juices. AU¥TOROSIS, a disease attacking the autoist and exhibiting itself in a marked timidity and disposition to go slow, is the latest discovery of the medicos. The physicians are getting Oslerized. ABOVE the ruck and ruin of the war, its sole cheerful incident, standing out clear like a contractor’s street-lantern on a pile of brick at mid- night, are the ever-memorable exploits of the Che-foo Liar. eee ‘THE MORAL OF A PIE EXPLOSION. « ‘HE EXPLOSION of a huckleberry pie in Paterson, N. J., some time since, has furnished a topic for more funny paragraphs than almost any other event of the summer. But not one writer has sought to develop the moral or search for the ethical lesson involved in the incident. We might say that the pie exploded with laughter, the pie jokes having at length penetrated its tough crust and got to its “‘ innards.” Or, we might turn it round and have it that the pie exploded with rage, having been pushed to the bounds of endurance by the jokes aforesaid. But we see a more serious lesson in the fact that the explo- sion caused injury to the people round the table and damage to the furniture. We take it that the pie proclaimed an insurrection—in other words, the luxuries are going back on the people. That pie should be in the van of the insurrectionary movement is only in keep- ing with its New England lineage. Presently the whole tribe of things that are caviare to the general, will be in the uprising and then the simple life will come of necessity. When we see how millionaires are losing their stom- achs and the appendixes are taking leave of all who can afford it, the conviction must press upon us that either the well-to-do or their luxuries are doomed. P.s.—On re-reading the incident it occurs to us that pie, after all, is not a luxury of the rich, but of the mass. Furthermore it was a boarding- house pie that exploded. In the light of this new induction of facts, another lesson looms large in the wreckage of this blasted pie, viz., get married, have a home of your own and so avoid boarding-house pie. ARON ANDREAS, rich Australian, sojourning with us temporarily in search of a wife, declares “ Boston girls are no use."” She is lacking in “quality of soul,”” he says. The baron discreetly packed his trunk and left the Hub after this deliverance. HE Washington Star has burrowed into the matter deeply and comes forth with the declaration that all great men are cheerful. Always did wonder why we were so cheerful, but the remarkable currency of the phrase “cheerful idiot ” had cast a gloom over us hitherto. THE Detroit News has been thinking about woman a great deal of late and has reached the conclusion that if she gets a chance she will be the genuine, boss grafter of the universe. Thus is the great suffrage cause once more rudely halted. comicbooks.com