Judge, 1905-09-09 · page 7 of 16
Judge — September 9, 1905 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated short humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines: **"Too Much Principle"**: A frontier preacher sold a horse to a man (Bob Revere) who complains the horse won't cooperate—it refuses to let him carry whiskey or chew tobacco. The joke satirizes the preacher's moral instruction as impractical frontier behavior. **"As Willie Understood It"**: A schoolboy misunderstands the word "interim," creating an absurd sentence about his sister's boyfriend that literally describes throwing boots "between" two events—wordplay humor. **"A Visible Proof"**: A pun on "waist-full" (wasteful) about a heavy woman. **"Hing Lee's Laundry"**: Plays on stereotypical broken English and flattery from an Asian immigrant laundry owner who compliments *everyone* equally. The page mixes domestic humor, schoolroom jokes, puns, and ethnic stereotypes—standard Judge fare emphasizing clever wordplay over refined satire. None appears to reference specific political events.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TOO MUCH PRINCIPLI Fronmier preacher—'* Why did you trade off that horse I sold you?"” Bos Reveve—* Wa-al, fact {s, parson, you learned him too much principle. He wouldn't let me carry a bottle of whiskey on him and every time I took a chaw of tobacker he bucked me off.”” IMAGINATION. | AS WILLIE UNDERSTOOD IT. «Do you think marriage destroys the imagination ?” ¢¢[NTERIM,” explained the teacher, «is that which follows one She—Oh, no. Most married people imagine they would be event and precedes another. Now, I would like to have each better off single.” member of the class compose a sentence containing the word ‘ interim* and read it when we have our recitation to-morrow.” Little Willie was the first to be asked for his composition on the following day. It was as follows : +s When Charlie Bronson come to our house to see Sister Helen the other nite, pa went down stairs and told him to git out, but he took a hold of Helen’s hand and ‘they both looked at pa and said they wouldn't ever part no more. So pa got in front of one event and followed the other toward the door and threw the boots interim,” The class was dismissed without any further reports. A VISIBLE PROOF. «é]T SEEMS as if the stouter Mrs. Heviton grows the more of a spendthrift she becomes.” «She is certainly waist-full.”” A MODERN VERSION. (Oeea that day lost whose low-descending sun Views by thy hand no fellow-being done. “ JUMPED" HIS BOARD-BILL. Tue uonx—' Hello! What's the matter with the kangaroo ?”” ‘Tue Lion—" He got arrested for ‘ jumping’ his board-bill |” CUPID TO THE MOON. 66 ti 327, big moon, up there in the sky, With the stars all twinkling about you, T'll have to admit I wouldn't be fit For anything much without you. And you, big moon, up there in the sky, You never have a thought about me ; But I know, my dear, there are folks down here Who think you are nothing without me. WILLIAM J. LAMPTON, + GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY. HING LEE kept a laundry. Like all orientals, flattery was his long suit, and although his knowledge of English was somewhat limited, he always tried to say the right thing at the right time. ‘One day Robinson dropped in his place with a friend of his, a young woman who: had quite a-reputation for good looks, Hing looked her over thoroughly and said to Robinson, “She your wife ?” Robinson jokingly answered «+ Yes.” SUSPICION. Hing turned to the young lady and said, eR See al ean cane) Docbleday aie) bat & goed, fir “You velly pretty. You good enough wife for evelybody.” Mrerte—'" Goodness! has he been kissing you, too?” comicbooks.com