Judge — August 12, 1905 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. Eusy—"They say hers was a case of love at first sigh: Bessie—"'I should say it was—at her first sight of his rating in Bradstreets.”* BULLVILLE CORRESPONDENCE. BULLVILLE, August 12th.—There was a cake-making match at the lawn festival at Cornelius Myers’s last Thursday week. . Miss Prudence Myers won first prize. It was a stirring contest. Dave, Dan, Henry and Prosper Hill are helping Hank Sykes in haying this week. Hank's favorite verse in scripture is, «+1 will lift up mine eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my help.” Hi Cronk has some new Jersey lightning at his tavern which has no false pride and will strike as many times in one place as one has the price.—Adv. We notice on our streets many persons displaying mosquito-bites, sunburns and other little red badges of courage on their faces as evi- dence of a stay at the seashore. The Bullville CAronicle will not make its appearance for some time, as the editor is suffering from shear exhaustion. DIDN’T LIKE THE SPECIMENS. 46]S THERE any necessity of your having quite so many young idiots hanging around here, Beatrice ?" asked the father in the properly def- erential tone of a modern parent. “Lam studying human nature, papa,” an- swered the sweet girl. ++ You know the proper study of mankind is man.” “«Mebbe it is; but I must say I don't like y you keep the house littered up with your specimens.” A MARRIED lady, rather fip, Went in the surf to take a dip; And now her husband sadly tells He caught her floating with the swells. PARADOXICAL. SIGHTS OF A GREAT CITY. HE stranger within the city’s gates was seeing the sights under the espionage of a guide. This worthy individual had taken the stranger to the window of a sky-scraper. “What is that huge mass of architecture yonder 2" inquired the stranger, pointing to a great structure looming up on the distant horizon. «That is a brewery,” replied the guide. ‘« Um—er,” hesitated the stranger, nodding toward a synagogue in the immediate foreground, «and that, I suppose, is a Hebrewery 2” Whereupon the guide was convulsed with laughter, for he wrote jokes for the papers when he was not otherwise engaged. Ella—" There's nothing going on to-day.” Stella— Are you speaking of your bathing-suit ?” HYMN OF THE.MAGNATE. H, MAY I join the trusts untrustable— ‘Those immoral combines that exist In states made nervous by their presence; feel My pulses stirred by dreams of dazzling wealth To deeds of daring turpitude ; to scorn For miserable single-million hauls ; To grabs sublime as comets splitting stars, Whose grand results shall urge my itching palm To vaster issues. So to live is profit: To make a mighty merger in the world Of beef, or bricks, or buttons, that controls With growing sway the individual man. So we inherit that green earth for which The vulgar masses toil and agonize With such indifferent luck as breeds despair. Rebellious rings that would not be subdued, But tried instead to fight us, we dissolve ; And all man’s rarer, truer, franker self, That sobs religiously in yearning song For moncy, moncy, moncy, right or wrung, Hastens to pile the burden of the world On alll the weaker vessels. This is life, Which men now jailed have made more glorious For us who strive to follow. 5 May I reach That earthly heaven! Deal to struggling firms The coup de grace in some great “corner”; Enkindle class dissensions ; feed plump sharks, Enrich the folk who had no poverty, Make liberal presents of a stock diffused, And in diffusion worth some thirty cents. So shall I join the trusts untrustable, ‘Whose business is the squeezing of the earth. LOUISE BETTS EDWARDS, eT OS yV HIS REASON. Mr. Tioer—"' And why does your husband want a divorce from you?" Mrs. Pstican—"* He says | have altogether too much mouth."” comicbooks.com