Judge, 1905-08-12 · page 10 of 16
Judge — August 12, 1905 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Cartoon ("Uninvited"):** Depicts China at a table labeled "Peace Cafe" with a menu listing territories (Manchuria, Port Arthur, Sakhalin Island). China protests to a gentleman (likely representing a Western power or Japan) that he should have a seat since "the fowl is mine"—a bitter satire on the partition of Chinese territory among foreign powers following the Russo-Japanese War (1904-1905). **Political Commentary Sections:** Three brief jokes mock various U.S. political figures of the era. "A Good Root Outlook" jokes about Elihu Root's presidential prospects. "A Song of Cortelyou" praises Postmaster General George Cortelyou's minor achievement of improving postage-stamp adhesive, satirizing how politicians celebrate trivial accomplishments. **Johann Hoch Reference:** A dark humor section mocking a real bigamist whose crimes were publicized through want ads—dark satire about how advertising enables criminal notoriety. **Bottom Sections:** Light domestic humor about names and mistaken identity, unrelated to the political content above.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
UNINVITED. PEACE CAFE Ou. OF KARE PANCHURIA RORT ARTHUR SAKHALIN ZW Dearis ‘Cuixa—"" Gentleman, don't you think you could find a seat at that table for me, seeing that the fowl is mine?" A GOOD ROOT OUTLOOK. First politician— It gives me great pleasure to think of the pos- sibility of Root being president." Second politician—* Why, how’s that?” . First politician— Why, the Democrats would have the time of their lives trying to grub him out.” A SONG OF CORTELYOU. “Postmaster general Cortelyou has given the country something that has been asked for in vain hicherto—a better class of gum on our post: age-stampa."—Newapaper item. YOU talk about our public men Who've gone up to the front ‘And taken hold and plowed right in ‘And done their little stunt! There's one down there in Washington, A terror to all scamps— + It’s Cortelyou, Steadfast and true, Who's put a better class of gum On all our postage-stamps. There's Wallace—went to Panama And came right home ag’in ; Chucked up a job because he saw "Twas hot down there as sin. Then comes along that sixty-five, And straightway he decamps ; But Cortelyou, What does he do? Sticks to putting better gum On all our postage-stamps. ‘There's Taft—where is he, anyhow? Junketin’ off somewhere, ‘Nobody seems to remember now, And nobody seems to care. Where’s Shonts and Hyde, Depew, Jerome, Judge Hooker? Ob, my lamps! Bat Cortelyou, He sticks to du- Ty, dealing out a better gum For all our postage-stamps. A HINT TO ADVERTISERS. WHAT'S IN A NAME? Cousin Jacx—‘* Well, I've just heard the details of uncle's will. He leaves everything to the heathen.” Cousin Jave—" Ob , never mind what he calls us, so long as N LOOKING over the life history of that enterprising and successful bigamist, Johann Hoch, the reader will be struck by the fact that his celebrity as a husband began with a little fifteen-cent want ad. Surely every business man will catch the idea here without a diagram. Advertise if you would go to the top in any line. Hoch might have wor- ried along and achieved an ordinary, little, inconspicuous, seven-by-nine, tandem bigamy’; but he never could have reached his splendid world-wide eminence and written for the Sunday papers without this great aid to suc- cess, the want ad. Rates sent on application. SUPPLY EXHAUSTED. N a village in western New York a meat-market is conducted by a man named Husbands. A telephone call for this market was misinter- preted by the operator, and she gave instead the residence of two maiden sisters, one of whom answered the ring. “T want Husbands,” impera- tively demanded a voice. **We haven't any,” was ‘the meek reply. NOT IN HER CLASS, Jack—The photograph you sent me is just like you, dear. I kissed it ever so many times.” Virginia—+ Did it return the kisses ?” Jack— No; of course not.” Virginia— Then how can you say it is like me comicbooks.com