Judge — August 5, 1905 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHY THE CHILD COULDN'T CARRY THE CABBAGE, HE was a very small girl indeed, and she stood contemplating in despair a very large cab- bage just as a young lady of benevolent mind passed by. The young lady took note of the despair, *Can I do anything to help you, dear?” she asked kindly. ‘Can't you carry that cabbage ?” + No'm,” said the child hopefully. The young lady considered her ten spare moments and picked up the cabbage. “If you don’t live far I'll carry it for you,” she said; and forthwith balanced the cabbage on her open hand to show how very strong she was. On reaching the little girl's house she stopped. ++ You can carry it just to the door—can’t you, honey + No'm; I can't,” very positively. “But why not? It isn't heavy.” young lady was plainly puzzled. **No'm; but there's a big worm on it right where your hand is, and I don’t want to touch it. It’s a horrid worm, like "—— But the cabbage had dropped with a thump, and the young lady was already hurrying off toward the corner with a handkerchief tight- ly clutched in her hand. rarrin cxicKanina. CREEPING BRANCHES. 66 \JONDERFUL foliage down here,” said the man as he looked off across the barren Arizona desert. I could see nothing in sight but sand and eight little pickaninnies crawling in it at play. I asked him what he meant. «Twas referring,” he replied as he pointed to the pickaninnies, «to those Virginia creepers.” The MISDIRECTED ENERGY. Mrs. Loveascrap—“I see by the papers, George, that a certain Madame Pousep and several other Russian ladies have enlisted in a Cossack regiment in order to prove that women can fight.” Mr, Loveascrap—' How entirely unnecessary, my dear !"* He is summoned to an important engagement. ‘THE SECRET SOLOMON went moodily into his study and took up his stylus and Papyrus to jot down an idea that had occurred to him. Asa setting to this sentiment which he was about to inscribe, we may say that for an hour and a half he had been in the society of a man with side- whiskers and a notion that he was a happy combina- tion of orator and general adviser of mankind. So Sol- omon, with those side-whiskers still stamped in his memory, wrote, “Vanity of vani ties ; all is vanity,” Photo by Halt, JUDGE'S FAVORITES. OLIVE NORTH. When reigns the superheated air Of weltering August days We fling aside in wild despair The pen that writes our lays. Then comes the girl whose lips caress ‘The fresh-clipped morning rose. We seize our pen, whip up our muse, And lightly say, ‘* Here goes!"* And fail to again, A CLINCHER. A CHICAGO mother was trying to get her little boy tago to bed. + Run along, Johnny,” she said, «and get into your bed. The little chickens have all gone to bed.” «Yes, mother, I know,” said the little tot with a quivering lip ; “but the old hen went to bed with ‘em.” ssTHE groom seemed to be rather shy." «He was—just about fifteen dollars." His pile increases, And the usual squabble among the heirs ensue PARABLE OF A FINANCIAL CAREER TOLD IN PICTURES. comicbooks.com