Judge — July 29, 1905 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Juorraaon photo. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. MARMION STONE IN “THE GAIETY GIRL. Your breezy western vim and charm, You Minnesota girl, Just hits our eastern fancy and ‘Sets all our hearts a-whirl. They like you in Chicago and "Way out In old St. Paul. But would you know just what like means, Hit old New York—that's all, CUPID’S DATES. ++ AND now, sweetheart!” he fondly cried, As they sat ‘neath the moon's wan light, + Lam yours alone till the end of time, And the world seems happy and bright.” “Twas ever thus,” the maiden said As she brushed back a truant curl. “Tam yours alone till September one ; After that I'm a winter girl.” REPARTEE OF A NIGHT. #6 GET my supper!” he said gruffly it yourself,” she replied. didn’t marry a cook.” Late that night she heard a noise. “John,” she said, «there's a robber in the Get up!” Get up yourself,” he answered sleepily. n‘t marry a policema Finally, however, John with a revolver and his wife with a candle, traced the noise to the kitchen-range. John bravely opened the range- door and a huge rat jumped out. John pointed the revolver at the animal, but didn’t shoot. + Why didn’t you shoot it 2" asked his wife. “T couldn't,” he replied, smiling grimly «+t was just out of my range. “You house. A BREAK-DOWN. LITTLE German girl, whose mother had ob- tained a divorce from her husband, was tell- ing oncof her playmates about the matter in her own peculiar way. “Why, you know,” she said earnestly, ‘papa an’ mamma haf broken down house- keeping. DAMAGED IN THE MAIL. FRANC althou; glazed paper of the picture showed a crack extending quite across Aunt Frances felt badly about this, and often mentioned it. ather brought a German physician home to dine. nose. One night her man’s student days he had been the crack duelist in his university, and had received a wound which began on one cheek and extended across the nose. The scar was still very evident. During dinner Frances observed him silently. After the meal had ended she climbed upon his knee and touched the scar compassionately. ‘Isn't that too bad !" she ex- «Was your face, like my in the claimed. Aunt Emeline’s, damaged mails, sit?” EVER THUS. OOD resolutions are like cooks, For, sadly do we know, We think them jewels when they come, But in a week they go. FRIENDS AT LAST. Dyer—"«So Mrs. Lever has ap- plied for a divorce after thirty years of married life?” Duell —"Yes, She says she wishes to be friends with her hus- band before she dies.” EXCLUSIVE. Mrs, Meadowe—" You will find the wood-shed at the back of the house.” Tired traveler — Excuse me, madam, but I never patronize a chop-house.”* had a photograph of her Aunt Emeline, of which she was very fond, h, when it had been sent to her by mail, it had been broken so that the cline’s pretty During this Ger- WHICH? Yes'm: I'm in prison fer robbery at a summer hotel." F Were you proprietor or head walter THE DAY AFTER. Mr. Booze—"'I'm going fishing and haven't any time to read your temperance tract.”” Dr. Drixxwarer—"' From the look: of the bait you have there, you'll feel like reading it in the morning, when you wake up.” EXPLAINED. Landlady—* Some of my boarders have been with me for y rder—* Haven't the strength to leave, ‘TIM'S LITTLE WAY. ITT IS not so bad to work fer Tin 5 “s lashin's on the sec Is rougher in their talk than hi Although he’ He'll ri An’ curse But though the He don't n not perfection an't , that's truc, s nothin’ by it. If anny triflin’, lazy Mick He's apt to baste him wid a p To hint he'd best be work Or if ‘tis handier, a spike Or drill, he'll Or t'row a hammer or the lik He don’t mean n A hairy, teary, gla Wid lots of bone When he gets started hopp You bet the byes ‘The way that T ‘There's noth He's killed a few of them, but the He don't mean nothin’ | me a-nigh itt JUST SO. s6\JHAT'S a clever joke?” w"" One that makes you laugh when you know absolutely there is nothing to robbins —** ¥ given up by the doctors ?” Dobbins—\ No; they have one more guess.” s Higbee been comicbooks.com