Judge, 1905-07-22 · page 7 of 16
Judge — July 22, 1905 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces targeting early 20th-century American life: **Top cartoon**: Shows a grotesque figure representing unchecked industrial/political corruption—likely symbolizing a corrupt politician or monopolist—sprouting cannons and machinery toward a cityscape. It mocks how power concentrates wealth while ordinary people struggle. **"He Went Back"**: Satirizes a corrupt politician ("boodler") claiming money earned honestly, then admitting he obtained it dishonestly afterward—a jab at political corruption and hypocrisy. **"Darwinism Refuted"**: A child cleverly dismisses Darwin's theory by noting he himself will become an ancestor, so humans cannot be descended from monkeys—gentle mockery of how people misunderstood or resisted evolutionary theory. **"United States Senator F.B. Brandegee"**: Appears to mock a specific Connecticut senator for hypocrisy regarding temperance—his name "Brandy-gee" suggests he drinks despite supporting prohibition or temperance ideals. Other pieces humorously address fishing lies, servant-girl social climbing, and domestic irritations typical of period humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PHILOSOPHY. Finnican—" Th’ scientists be sayin’ thot befoor long there'll be twoice as manny people as th’ counthry kin support."* MuLuican—"' Niver ye moind. Be thot toime yure dollar ‘Il only buy half as much, anny way.” RIGHT. +6 JOW many zones are there, Johnny ?” asked the teacher. “«Six,” he replied, «One torrid, two temperate, one arctic, one antarctic, and one canal.” NEARING THE LIMIT. +4} OW are you getting along, Job?” asked Bildad the Shuhite, strolling into the yard where the man of Uz was enduring his afflictions. «« Fairly well,” replied Job, + considering everything.” + Haven't grown impatient yet ?"” “Not yet; but the next time that woman from down street comes up here and tells me how her grand- mother used to cure boils, I'm afraid I'll grow just a trifle petulant.” COMIN’ THRO’ THE LIE. GN 2 body fish all nightie, Wit his “bait” hard by ; Gin a body get no bitie Need a body lie? Every fisher has his fishes, Nane they say, ‘hae I,” For every fisherman that wishes Can buy them on the sly. Gin the laddies see him struttie, ‘Comin’ frae the sale, A’ the laddies cry “chestnuttie” At the same old tale. Every fisher has his fibbie, And they wonder why ‘That a’ the war!’ has grown fu' weary ‘At that same fish lie. SOUGHT AFTER IN SOCIETY. S4GHE'S much sought after in high society.” «+ How's that 2" “She's a servant-girl.” IRRITATING GAME. Eva—t Does it tire you to play whist ?” May—“ No; but it'irritates my throat.” | offer you?” this kind of a celling.”* UNREASONABLE. Mrs. Bar (the boarding-house keeper) Prospective tenant—"* Why, madam, | never could sleep well on HE WENT BACK. ‘+MY MONEY is not tainted,” says the boodler. “Indeed 2" asks the investigating committee doubttully. “Indeed, it is not. 1 came by it honestly in the first place.” “We know you came by it honestly in the first place," responds the cha ‘but did you not go back and get it dishonestly after learning where it was?” ‘man A CHEAP JOB, Knicker—« Yes, Johnny ; Lam a self-made man." Johnny—* Couldn't you afford to have God do it ?" DARWINISM REFUTED. Father —"Yes, my son; ac- cording to Darwin, our ancestors were monkeys.” Kindergarten Geoffrey—" But, papa, I don’t believe that. I shall be an ancestor myself sometime, and I'm not a monkey.” UNITED STATES SENATOR F. B, BRANDEGEE (of Conmecticnt.) H, land of steady habits, Of the puritanic taste, Where the jag-juice and the jagger Have been left to go to waste, What a frightful commentary Is the senatorial name On the system of cold water And the temperance movement's aim. What? It is not? Great Scott! Frank B. Brandy? Gee! See? WJ. LAMITON. » A CONUNDRUM. WHY do 1 wish that my neigh- bor's little boy was a postage- stamp? (Send your answers to the puz- le editor of JUDGE.) * Don't you like the room comicbooks.com: