Judge, 1905-07-22 · page 3 of 16
Judge — July 22, 1905 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated comic sketches and humorous anecdotes typical of Judge magazine's format. The top cartoon "The Plan That Failed" depicts a beach scene where a man tells another he witnessed a woman pretending to drown so a lifeguard would rescue her—but the lifeguard called a life-guard instead, thwarting her romantic scheme. Below are disconnected humor pieces: "A Tip from Father Knickerbocker" offers advice to Norway; "The Family Secret" jokes about a woman's laundry soap; and brief dialogue exchanges about chinamen, astronomy, and an octopus jumping over the moon. The humor relies on wordplay, puns, and absurdist scenarios. Without specific historical context or clearer identification of figures, the precise satirical targets remain unclear, though the content reflects early 20th-century American popular humor conventions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Soman em THE PLAN THAT FAILED. Seacsey—‘* There's a little summer romance dished all right, | bet."* Ricsy—"' Yes. She made believe she was drowning, and the chump called a life-guard, instead of pulling her out himself."* A TIP FROM FATHER KNICKERBOCKER. HIS FAVORITE MOTTO. <= AY, Norway, say, if you have not MB. JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER had just stuffed fourteen million Up to the present writing got dollars and a few odd cents of Standard-oil profits into his pocket That prince you seek to fit your sIrune, when we asked him if he would kindly state what his favorite maxim Now that you're going it alone. is, With a kindly smile he sald, I have but one lamp by which my Step this way, please, and see if what feet are guided"; and the interview was at an end. We have to offer you is not Teldec THE OPEN ROAD. fi , First capitalist— What would you do if you lost your money 2" We feel quite satisfied that you £ f ks : Will say our Jimmie Hyde will do, w.j.t. Second capitalist— Start a magazine and expose the methods by which I used to make it.” Y. . THES PAMIY: SUFEL “ WHERE A CHINAMAN IS JUST CHINESE, LADY who had engaged «quiet summer board" at a rural farm- yor : ; é First Chinese mandarin—« lt has been my experience that a house discovered, upon arising one morning, that the cake of ; : gentleman is recognized as a gentleman the world over. soap which had graced her wash-stand on the day of her arriy 3 ; ee wu z Second Chinese mandarin—« Then | fancy you have never tried missing, She had noted that the soap was subject to frequent mys- f i pied : j to travel in the United States of America. terious disappearances, and she resolved upon the present occasion to call the attention of her hostess to the deficiency. . PROTECTED HER. “Oh, Mrs. Spriggins ! I believe am unable to find a trace of He—= U never used to sing only when I was alone and afraid.” my soap this morning. Could I have another cake, please ?” She— No doubt it was quite a protection.” There was a moment's wait, and then Mrs. Spriggins appeared at the stair-landing. QUESTION OF STARS. “Land sakes, Mis’ Smith!" said she apologetically, +«I'm real Dyer—« Ever study astronomy, Higbee ?” sorry to say there isn’t any soap fer you this mornin’, Jimmy an’ Higbee—" Yes." Danny took the cake down to the swimmin'-hole yesterday afternoon Dyer — . how many stars does it take to make a roof- an’ left it there. Boys is so fergetful, any w garden ?”" WORK OF THE OCTOPUS, HE cow, having Jumped over the moon, is being interviewed on the subject. ** Why did you jump so high?” asks Jack Spratt. «'Confidentially,” replies the cow, +1 was trying to put beef higher than the trust can," But at this juncture the dairy trust hegan sprinkling formalde- hyde on the milky way, and the attention of the public was diverted. PETER BELL. HOOP-SKIRT in the attic dim A simple hoop-skirt was t» him, He did not know that after while It should again become the style. HER MISFORTUNE. ITTLE Bessie, the youngest member of the family, watched the elder children set off to attend a birthday party one evening, while she, as usual, was compelled to remain behind. Presently her mother’s attention was attracted by a doleful little sigh. BUSINESS IS BUSINESS. Lawver—"" I presume you wish your divorce obtained without publicity."* Oh, dear, mamma!” mourned the tot, ‘don't you think I Fair cuient—"' Well, you know, one object in securing this divorce Is was drefful unfortunate to be born so young ?” 80 I can go on the atage,”” t comicbooks.com