Judge — July 15, 1905 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

f ‘THE SUMMER GIRL. EE.WHIZZ! ‘What a wonder The summer girl is! What a bird! Have you ever heard Of anything like her? What a wonderful hiker Straight to men’s hearts, With her cute little arts And her graces, Her fluffs and her Ribbons and laces ; Her smiles and her sighs, Her varying eyes, The touch of her hand, The rapture of—oh, my land! Jee-rusalem! gosh! Can't she josh Any man on earth Toafinish? Say! Ain't she the way You long have sought And mourned because You found it nought? Well, T guess She is the limit of loveliness. She Bosses the sea, And the mountains fall Down at her call. No matter where you find her, No matter where she dwells— In lovely summer villas Or any old hotels— She wields her magic sceptre, She sits upon her throne, ‘And claims, without distinction, All mankind as her own. And what does mankind Think about it? Well, don’t shout it— Whisper it soft and low : He's willing to be her subject For a couple of months or $0; But after that— My scat! Where is the summer girl at? WILLIAM J. LAMPTON. Wino Wouldnt Be Why doth the serpent of the sea, So dread in shape and terrible, Glide hospitably on the lea ‘And never do things horrible? RELIEF AT HAND. ATLAS had just lifted the globe, “+I now have the earth in my hands,” he remarked solemnly. ++ And how long will you keep it?" asked the intimate friend. “Oh, until the Standard-oil company arrives.” And even as he spoke the sun-like pate of John D. appeared above the horizon. AN EXCEPTION. Howell—« It's better to have loved and lost "—— Powell— Not when you have alimony to pay to the one you have lost.” NOT HIS FAULT. Subscriber— Some of your jokes are a trifle raw. Editor— They oughtn’t to be; they've been roasted enough.” Miss LiomtLeicn—' Mr. Sroongasy- Why, Mr. Spoon Oh, I A Sea Serpent % THE COLLEGE GIRL, NOTHER phalanx of the college girl, eda- cated, untrammeled, free, has graduated and gone forth into the earth to dwell therein and make it glad. By this time the bookish throng is scattered to the four corners of the land, and no city, town, or ham- let but is shined upon by some ray from Vassar, Smith, Wellesley, or other- where. The girl who read with a strong, convincing tone that powerful thesis on ‘*the impersonal point of view" mayhap mixeth a rising of bread at this mo- ment in her mother’s kitch- en, The petite little person in white who scathingly described ‘Lucian, the iconoclast,” no doubt is sewing a button on papa’s trousers and doing it well. That bold and masterly rea- soner who discussed ‘the treatment of historical ma- terial in this country” is very like holding at arm's length a plain cream batiste gown and considering, with a wary eye, whether passe- menterie cabochons, sewed on the front breadths, would look better than revers of chiffon and embroidered bowknot designs with a Watteau plait, Thus we see how education reaches back into the world and glorifies it. Probably the girl who threw out those thrilling thoughts on the «molecular theory of the atomic protoplasm and its insufficiency as a philosophic norm" is sitting in a hammock to-day and eating bonbons out of a box with a fellow whose hair is cut loose and flowing in the back, and who calls her a peacherino. Aye, love, home, toil, the entire Sahara of our desert life, is brightened and gladdened to-day by the girl just home from college. Because, | ween, of maidens fair, With captivating wiles, ‘Who work their summer conquests there. ‘The serpent looks and smiles. LIMITED THINKER. Gerald—*1 always say what I think.” Geraldine—*1 have noticed that you hadn't a very extensive vocabulary.” —why aren't you taking your morning plunge?” too early In the day. Besides, I've been in once already. comicbooks.com